Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Book of Sarah

Morticia saw Annie. She was sleeping on one of those cushy reclining chairs they have in some of the better pedicure salons. You know the type. They look like those over-sized gray leather seats the airlines have in first class. No one paid her any attention. The Vietnamese girls staffing the place went about their business as if she wasn't there. But she looked OK (according to Morticia). Her hair was combed. Her clothes were neat. A warm looking little girl's coat hung from a nearby hook with all the necessary coordinated accessories. She called me and told me about it. I was 'sleeping.' Tomas and I had a new flower petal lined subbasement pit installed in our new townhouse. It's exactly like the first one and extremely comfortable. HGTV should do a special --- the top ten vampire cryps in North America. Ours would be one of them. But I told Morticia to be careful. Don't interfere. Just observe things. There was no sign of the Shaky Hand Man. I know he's basically a spirit. But he has materialized before. I don't know. Maybe he hasn't. It could be that we (and the Pow Wow Woman) are just able to sense him. There was another strange occurence last night. Not a killing. But troubling never the less. A young nurse specializing in obstetrics and abortions woke up from her nap in the break room  at U of P 
Hospital only to discover that someone had removed her shoes and stockings. But that wasn't all. They had also bitten off her toes. The complete set, all ten, gone. And before she could scream, she saw a little girl  standing at the foot of the cot with blood smeared all over her mouth. By the time help arrived (you know how hard it is to grab one of those dedicated, altruistic doctors) the little girl had disappeared. It was on the news. The hospital refused to answer any questions. Some journalists thought it was a hoax. But we knew better, because Nursie No-Toes gave a description of her macabre visitor. She described Annie. Why did it happen? Who knows? But the Annie that Morticia saw was all clean. No blood around her mouth. No toe gristle between her teeth. And she was laying there sleeping just like a little angel. Did the Enemy make her do it? Was it her own idea? Was is a cry for help? The Shaky Hand Man can't possibly want that kind of attention. He does like to achieve his goals, but in a discreet and dignified manner. Anyway, Morticia and her two assistant Morticias are keeping an eye on things. We've all been practicing our sublimation in preparation for our retreat into the pines. Everyone is curious. We all want to know what takes place at a throwing of the bones. But Edith, the Pow Wow Woman, won't say. She just grins and grins and laughs. Baylah says being a vampire makes no difference at all. Those back-woods white folks scare the beJesus out of her. And considering her life style, she ain't exactly sure how much beJesus she can affort to lose. Tomas is concerned too. He's starting to feel guilty about the heathenness  of it all. He chants the Hebrew Tenents of the Creed, The Articles of Belief,  over and over and over. Every line begins - I believe with a most perfect faith.... And Bob just sits there rocking back and forth with his hands pressed over his ears. I'm telling you, if gushy young girls knew how vampires really lived they'd foget about all that 'romance' nonsense and go back to being fashion designers, nuns and princesses like The Good Lord intended.

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