Friday, May 13, 2011


Annie's been wanting to go to Disney World. But Papa and 'mama' vampire (Luna, I mean) are not about to do that. So they compromised and took her to Dave & Busters. Not that they were gonna stuff her up with cheese burgers and chicken fingers. And when a friendly staffer noticed they weren't eating, 'Mama' smiled her most selfcentered version of a sincere smile and said - Oh, no, ..peanut allergies. Papa quickly added - We just come for your great games!.....He showed that staffer a cup filled with tokens (probably fifty bucks worth), so she was all happy. You know the type, bucking for an assistant managership, or somethin'.

They played skee-ball and whack-a-mole and some shoot the ducks game. The little 'six' year old vampire shit head won a few coupons. She traded 'em in for a plastic water pistol and a pack a 'sea monkeys.' Only when they got home and added water, she threw a coniption fit 'cause they didn't look like no monkeys to her. So Papa called her an ungrateful, troubled child. But Edith didn't like that, because she knew what Annie could do. And they don't need no cheap-suited bitch from Department of 'Human' Services comin' 'round, wiping the spit from the corners of her mouth while she's givin' them the fish eye. So Luna gave her a 'C' note to keep her quiet. Annie said she wanted two of 'em. Papa crumpled up the second one and threw it at her. But she didn't care. She just scooped it up and ran away. Locked herself in her sleeping cabinet downstairs. She's got a mess a fashion magazines from the CVS thrown all over the place and a bunch a free pens one a the Red Paint guys gets at the bank. Little whats'is uses the pens like knives to X out all the eyes and fancy boobies in them glossy pages. Who they gonna take her too? You don't happen to know of any vampire-child head shrinkers do ya? They try to get her to mix in with the elves, only they don't want no parts of her. Them cherubs cry when she comes 'round. Edith says she pinches 'em. Nobody knows what to do. Baylah comes by when she's not runnin' to the shore. Takes her into Center City. Buys her new sneakers, some black, tight whorey lookin' outfits for them Barbies, maybe a couple aroma candles. That works for a few hours. Over thirty thousand years (total) a vampire 'abbra-ka-whoosis'  at our disposal and this all we can do. It is pitifull.

Now they're lookin' for some regular child psychologist who maybe got converted  to vampirism. wilkravitz thought he found one on the computer. But it turned out to be some whack job eleven year old with  a colorful assortment of  her own problems. Annie got all excited. Wanted to go meet her. Wanted to go kill her is what she did. So we're still lookin'. It is hard. Apparently you won't find too many of 'em advertising in the Philadelphia Magazine. Maybe we will have to look in some other publication.

Evelyn from next door still snoops around. But a little squirt a vampire blood every now and then takes care a her. Cleared up her adult onset acne pretty good. Oughta be happy 'bout that.

Ooh, before I forget. Papa knows what's happening over in the old world. He can feel it. He can see it. Even knows what went on in that 'Other Place.' What, you think in twentyeight thousand years he ain't never been no where? Nothing is new to him. Sure he misses 'em. Jonathon really is the same thing as a son to him. So I guess he just looks at this as his son's semester overseas. They'll be back. Maybe bring him some a them nice cashmere scarves they sell over in Italy. They oughta be headin'  that way soon anyway. Better stay away from them 'noxious' types. You know who they are? Kinda like them hissy-faced, nasty, trifflin' muthas  you see on TV. Look like they escaped from some vampire ghetto somewhere. Shit, when will people learn?..........

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