Saturday, May 28, 2011


The two vampires moved quickly, sleeping in caves or digging dens, like wild canines on the run. Their feral brethren watched from a safe distance. Did they have enough strength and power to confront them? Each case is different. It's one thing to shred a weak, pathetic human, yet quite another to go mano a mano with a trim vampirino in his prime. Lorenzo, the male noxious, seemed to sense this. But the woman, Kadeema ran on pure emotion. Win or lose, she'd do enough damage. A simple soul, that one. Mayhem makes her happy.

They had a close call one day, while holed up deep inside an abandoned, late Roman salt mine in the South Tyrol.  It came during act two of a life-eater lust fest. Some innocent hiker, down from Vienna, hears 'strange noises' coming from a 'mysterious tunnel,' so he kicks aside a few boards haphazardly placed over the opening by the local authorities (Jonathon and Sarah shimmied in through a less apparent apurture) and tip-toed inside. God, only knows what he expected to do if he actually  confronted something in there. But what am I talking about? He DID actually confront something in there. Lucky  for him they were what they were.

The vampire and vampirina were deep into an authentic recreation of 'The Pirate and The Cheer Leader' (never known to actually cross paths in captivity, but you get the idea), when the skinny kid almosts trips over them. Sarah screams. Not a human scream, a vampire scream. Roosting bats instantly release guano and swarm out toward the sunlight. Mister Eldest Von Trapp Son accompanies her in his best falsetto aria. Jonathon instinctively snaps and levitates up to the slick, dirty roof (remember them bats?). The kid drops a Bowie knife almost as big as his adam's apple. But he saw. They knew he saw. He knew Jonathon just didn't jump. He saw him levitate. Almost like a cat, but better. And he grabbed onto the roof and he stayed there.

The Vienna Wonder froze. Sarah grabbed a shirt and covered herself. Then silence. This went on for maybe four or five heartbeats. Then Jonathon spoke. He said - Hey, kid, what the hell are you doing? Are you crazy? You know it's dangerous snooping around in places like this??!.............You're in here - spat out the kid. What are you doing in here?!.........We are experienced, professional spelunkers! - said Sarah. We are trained for situations like this!.............Is that how he manages to stay up there? - said the kid...........Yes! - said Sarah. We are equiped for things like that!......Equiped? But he's naked - said the kid.......So Jonathon took a brerathe and jumped down. Sarah passed him something to cover up with. But the first thing she grabbed was her bra. So he was sort of limited.......No, come on. You're not spelunkers. W-what are you? - whispered the kid........Sarah was almost ready to tell him. But Jonathon beat her to the punch......You seen the ads for the Le Cirque de Magique appearing in Venice this week? - he said......Yeah??? - said the kid. You from that? So, what are you, acrobats?........Jonathon, feigning his best tempermental artiste, said - What do you think? ..........And the kid bought it. He nodded his head and he bought it. Turned out he was heading for Venice (had a Euro train pass). Jonathon told him to ask for them at the box office of La Fenice Opera House. I guess his telepathic powers were really firing up. Gave the kid a name. shook hands (dropped that bra) and sent him out so they could  'get dressed.'.....As he left, Sarah yelled - Hey, kid, what did you expect to find in here?...........He mumbled - I don't know. Thought it was hippies doing mushrooms. There was this smell. drew me. - he mumbled....And then he was gone.

Now vampires have been known  to exude an intoxicating aroma used to attract prey. Nobles, such as Jonathon and Sarah do it to help subdue their preordained victims. The only trouble is, that kid was no victim.......Who else was out there?.....And why couldn't they sense it?.....Nobody should ever have  gotten that close..........

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