Sunday, June 5, 2011

BY THE LIGHT OF THE VAMPIRE MOON

wilkravitz is typing this. I don't know what is happening. There has been no artificial light for almost two nights. It is not that the electricity went out. That did not happen. Refrigerators still hummed along. Equipment in hospitals still put on their pricy show. Cars still ran...but with no headlights. Guys would pay homeless dudes to sit on their hoods waving lit cans of sterno. Even ambulances rolled like that.But planes could not fly. And elevators could not operate. Televisions were no good. Radio never had such a big audience since the late nineteen forties. The president went on a special airing of Howard Stern (they figured he'd reach more people that way). The Secret Service tried to sweep the place for naked girls and bed bugs. They didn't want the president to bring anything back with him. He told the nation (and the world) to stay calm and take advantage of natural moonlight. So a lot of young people got high, sat outside and put on hand-puppet shows for all the bad, little kiddies who refused to stay inside under the covers.

The elves and cherubs loved the darkness. They went flying all through the city, darting about like dragonflies buzzin' a pond on a hot day. A little bite there. A tiny nip here. People screamed. They slapped at their necks. But it was always too late. The 'donation' was already made. Annie did not go though. They wanted to take her. They wanted to spray her with solidified bloood crystals (you should see. they sparkle like fiery rubies). Papa said it would be all right. He wanted her to go. But she just screwed herself up into the usual neurotic knot and said - NO!......So Edith took her outback to the koi pond and rocked her in the moonlight. They made a game of throwing little pieces of bread to the fish, pretending that the moon's silvery-white reflection was a bull's eye. When she got tired of that, they went back in the house and sacrificed Barbies to the garbage disposal. I told you, the power was still on, just not the lights. Luna just sat by the fireplce (natural light) listening to Lady Gaga on her I-Pod.

Baylah was in Atlantic City when it hit (she still is). The casino where she was tried to switch to back-up, but that didn't work. So they literally had their goons use cattle prods (supposedly switched to 'low') so they could herd all the idiots together and sweep 'em out onto the Boardwalk. People were yelling and jumping. Old ladies were cursing. The goons kept repeating - Free all day buffets. No passes needed, when this is all over. Sorry folks. Hate to have to jolt your heinnies like this, but you understand. It's a city ordinance.......But once they cleared the floor and got everybody out on the broards, employees with bic lighters and food vouchers did circulate through the crowd, so people's asses stopped hurtin' real quick. The promise of free, organic, consumible materials will do that, especially if some of those materials happen to resemble fried shrimp or cheese cake.

But the strangest thing of all was the phones, cell phones, hard wired, all of 'em. Whenever they rang, if  you picked one up, all you'd hear was  some little girl's voice whispering - Scotosh beedosh, Beedosh Boposht, Boposht Skeedosht..........Whatever that means............And if you tried to tune in the twentyfour hour news station, you heard the same thing, over and over and over and over. Some people said it was a prank. Some people said it was something else............

Shit....I can't type anymore.......I think the lights are going out again.....................

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