Sunday, July 31, 2011


So we gotta be tellin you bout two streams a the same river. One trickle gonna be bout Jonathon and the other Save the World life-eaters over in the Promised Land. The other one gonna drip through the mossy, leafy mellowness of Philadelphia's finer suburbs, as witnessed by that sexy, little vampirino dude known as Blackie (or Blacky...we disembodied spirits do not spend to much time worryin' bout New World spelling conventions).

By now we know that Jonathon has made a little side trip back a few millenium to witness the placing of the True Ark of The Covenant into a crypt-like vault far beneath the surface of The Temple Mount. OK, so maybe he was only there in spirit form, but he seen it just the same. And you wanna know what IT looks like? Well, go click onto some site showing the movie, 'cause it appears that Speilberg's prop designer got it exactly right.......and it is STILL there, glowing with a rich, gold light, under aeons of dust and debris.

Now it  would be mighty simple for him to round up a group a relic-diggin fellas (I think they calls em archeologists) and juss go dig it up (he is back in our time, after all). But true religion ain't always as straight forward as that. Moslem fellas are also lookin for The Hoofprint of the Steed, left by the blessed horse charged with bearing The Prophet Mohammed up to Heaven from the self-same spot. Trinitarian searchers (some of em anyway) hope to find a few cups and serving pieces left over from the Last Supper stashed away in some first century c.e. china closet. And a bunch a spiritual treasure hunters might destroy one divine gift just to find another.

The Resurrected John Lennon said (when he heard about it) - Why can't they all consider their relics to be 'found' and call it a day? What do they want, a bunch a knick-kacks and decorative items, or ideas? ...........That sentiment did not go over with the various religious leaders, for a trophy is a trophy after all....and maybe sometimes a little bit of an idol too.

But  the vampires gathered in Jerusalem are kept busy raising souls from near-death (via tiny blood gifts) and are quite happy to do so, even if about a dozen or two ersatz messiahs are swooshin' around town (homespun robes swoosh quite nicely) takin' the credit. You may have seen a few of em on Night Line and other fine programs. Still, people ain't dyin' in the Name a God and that, in itself, is a good thing. All this attention has also boosted sales of exported hummis quite a bit, so look for some at a supermarket near you...

Meanwhile, back in some cozy, red-brick, jewel box of a shopping district on The Main Line, Blackie is doing the naked macarena with a little, nubile young thing in a 'pocket park' behind a Yankee Candle outlet. She doesn't know he's a vampire, although she does think he's a bit strange, like maybe a Canadian, or a Jehovah's Witness or something........But what's so unusual about that? He plays games like that almost every night....The only thing the end...after the big pay-off...when he went to bite her (a little), what came out was not human blood.....Well, not exactly anyway...

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