Friday, October 14, 2011

VAMPIRES CAN BE INSECURE TOO, YOU KNOW

Papa is depressed. Not just by what's going on over in Jerusalem. He always thought Jonathon and Sarah were a bit naive. Twentyeight thousand years is a long time. And he's a thinker, don't you know.  Still wrestles with problems from the neolithic period. Did Mother Yaga receive an adequate portion of mammoth haunch? Should he not have culled the evil necromancer of the Fat-Assed-People? Was it just a nervous twitch  (yes, vampires get them too)  that sent the First Speaker over the cliff, or a sly, little intentional shove? Look at him sitting there breathing in that aroma candle. Edith gets them by the carton. You can buy them that way at the Wal-Mart. He's addicted. It's a shame. Sometimes he does sip a little bit of liquor. They can tolerate that. But drink never was his thing. The honey-mead they guzzled at the court of Charlemagne simply nauseated him. And the Romans used to forcefully irrigate the innards of those slaves meant for vampires with skin after skin of new wine. But he never bit any. It just wasn't for him. Used to throw 'em to the eels in the eel ponds (carnivorous, teethy, moray types they were). Couldn't let a gift from the emperor go to waste. Especially if you were a marginal type, like a life-eater.

I guess I caused it, me wilkravitz. I showed him the screen. I showed him our PR number, our Google page ranking. He thought it was high. Not that he bothered with that stuff, but he just assumed. I told you we only pretend that this is fiction. That's why it hurt him. This stuff ie real. They lived it. They remember it. And then to have some digital program give him a value of 1? Well, that's how he saw it.

Aura was here. She's one of the mole people. A pretty girl too. Hardly ever comes up to the surface, but Papa drove into Center City for her. Took her to this nice, little rustic tavern place on Germantown Avenue and everything. Mole people clean up pretty nice. What? You didn't think they had enough fresh water down there? Ain't you never heard of leaky pipes? Put a bucket under a leak. Leave it there a while and you got plenty. Soap too. That old, never used deeper than deep subway system was well stocked. Some of the caved-in restrooms still have toilets that flush. They got store room after store room  filled with blankets and little sterno cans, old spam and everything. Stuffs been there since before the War. I guess they were gonna use the tunnels for bomb shelters or something. And you know what? I don't know if this is the first Aura or the second Aura. I know Johnny-Jump-Up made a ghoul's delight outta somebody down there. Just can't remember who it was.

So she got sent home early. Cab takes her to a bench outside The Four Seasons Hotel. You know, the one with that life-like statue sitting on it? She goes back in the alley and shimmies down this  old forgotten sewer access thing they got. Guess it's the closest she has to a front door.

Shame they had to give us a 1. Don't they know how that hurts people.....vampires too, even. 

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