Saturday, November 12, 2011


Doctor Franklin has his theories. If you remember the time he experimented on Jonathon. If you can recall the nights our 'young' Andalucian hung suspended in the magnetic web of the Great Armonica. If you can visualize the instant when the cloud of butterflies materialized out of the ether and fluttered into our world, then you'll know. For what the eternal scientist did was access another universe. He knew it. A few of the agents recognized it too. And that key may unlock the door to our salvation. You want proof? Well, I suppose  you had to be there. But if you were, you would have seen it, because those gossamer little creatures weren't exactly card carrying butterflies. Not Earth butterflies anyway. Oh, they still had the real long, juice-sucking tongues. It's just that some of the other details were a little different. I know almost all of them died, or dematerialized back where they came from, but a few didn't. Look in the mermaid-hag enclosure. See the tropical plants? See the colorful, flower-like jewels flitting about? Now here's where we zoom in for a close-up. See?! See!? See!? That one. The blue one. The opalescent one. Focus. Pay attention. Shhh, shhhh. Now say hello to Tinkerbell face to face. Boy, Disney's was only a joke compared to this one. You wanna know who she really looks like? Not like Tinkerbell. Not like her. Ginger, the tall one from Gilligan's Island, that's who she really looks like.

Franklin can't do anything constructive with her world. It's too different. He's searching for some place a little more copasetic. A realm exactly like ours, save for maybe one tiny detail. And I do mean tiny. Like maybe a place where soft pretzel vendors don't pee in the bushes, or the top score on S.A.T.'s is 2200 instead of 2400, or like maybe their Justin Bieber started out with  another kinda haircut. It has got to be a place where we could live. If it's close enough, we'll all have duplicates there. That could pose a problem.

Now this is pie-in-the-sky, but the best solution would be finding a parallel universe with a solar system just like ours, but without an Earth. What, you're saying we could never transport the whole planet there? But with all due respect, you don't know how harmonic theory works. All we gotta do is get the ball rolling and the rest  goes right along with it.

If the place also has traces of a certain molecule, even better. For scientists from that Israeli desert installation made a discovery. They got a hold of some enemy DNA and tested it. You know how an allergist tests for reactions? Well, that's what they did. And a particular variation of what we would call common table salt 'neutralizes' them. They go phssst! Bye, bye, just like a puff a smoke. Hows did they get this elusive crystal? Well, they don't call this The Land of Miracles for nothing..........

Speaking of that desert installation, the vampire-human get-together is winding down now. Sarah's collapsed at a table with the Resurrected John Lennon, Bob Dylan and Yusef Islam (you know, Cat Stevens). She's high from her cat-nip-like aroma candle. The formerly dead Beatle is likewise intoxicated from too much of some kind of an orange-chocolate liquor drink they make around here. He's singin' Michelle' to her. Don't even remember all the words. Islam sleepily drums a beat on the table and Dylan's schmoozin' with some scientist about the possibility of life on the sun.... I don't know what he was drinkin'. Seems to me most of them could use a little Tea From The Tillerman (Stevens reference). You know, the caffeine might wake 'em up.

Jonathon's outside talkin' to some Reformed Rabbi. I don't know. He might be a Unitarian Minister. It's dark. They look up at the Firmament, all silvery spangled. Our guilt-ridden, eternally hopeful and reverent, immortal Spaniard sighs, He asks a question. He gestures toward the star-strewn skyway and says - What is the meaning of all this?.... Then he turns toward the carefully arranged desert shrubs - Why is it all here?..... The dapper spiritual guide exhales and says - Have you ever seen a toddler spill a cardboard drum of Legos on the floor? Well, it's a lot like that. It's not about the Legos, but what the baby does with them .Jonathon smiled. He nodded - I knew that.......... Then why did  you ask? - said the clergyman. But the 'young' vampire simply shrugged, shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked at the sand.......

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