Tuesday, February 22, 2011

PROBLEMS AND PROGRESS AMONG THE LIFE-EATERS

Baylah made a kill. She hated the guy. He was a real human piece of shit. A 'diet' doctor. But his prime motivation was shrinking bank accounts. Few customers, excuse me, they get threatened if we don't say 'patients' actually lost any weight. He sold, packaged food. He sponsored weigh-ins. He rubbed their backs and squealed over how 'wonderful' they were doing. Everybody was 'honey bunch' and 'sweetie-pie.' And for a few months they'd drop a few pounds. But most of them gained it all back. Most of them ended up sicker and fatter than before. He lived right next door to her banker boy friend. They'd nod to each other, talk about their wins and loses in the casinos. Superficial crap like that. The wife was a skinny, little, mousy thing. As long as she grabbed a few baubles, rode around in a decent sized BMW and had a 'girl' (translate as 'housekeeper') to brow beat, she was happy as a clam. Had about the same muscle tone as one too.So one night he sees them coming back from a bracing, clear, winter night walk on Ocean City's boardwalk (classic shore town just south of Atlantic City area). And he says - How 'bout if the four of us go out for a drink or something?......They were stuck. They had to go. The four of them got into the boyfriend's sporty, little thing. I don't know that model. Zebulon doesn't 'do' cars. But it was nice and shiny. Enough said. Baylah knew it was easier for her to fake eating ice cream, so she suggests some little parlor over in Somers Point (where Eddie and the Cruisers was filmed). And they go. Now even in the winter places 'down the shore' are still crowded. So they had to wait for a few minutes before they sat down. And he's going on about how great Baylah looks. And don't people alway mistake her for Vanessa Williams? And don't they always mistake her for Beyonce? Anybody who was black and glamorous, she looked like. He didn't know the difference. Then they sit down in a booth. Each couple shared the same side. But she was right across from Doctor Greasy. And she couldn't stand it. That was no accident. He was rubbing his foot against her leg on purpose. Up and down. Up and down. The weasle wife was oblivious to everything. Actually, 'we' (the vampires, myself and some of the telepathic humans) don't even think she really cared. He was just a glorified meal ticket to her. Give her the house. Give her enough money.
Give her some space. And then he can go knock himself the hell out. It's not like he was gonna go anywhere. Her people paid for all the schooling. The houses were in her name. When he was living, her father insisted  on it. Devoted they were not. Baylah couldn't take it anymore. She said she couldn't find her cell phone and wanted to go outside to check in the car. So she got up and left. The doc says he has to go to the toilet. But he follows her out to where they were parked in the back. It was dark. There was no one else around. So he sneaks up on her. Look, she knew he was there, but he thought he snuck up on her. He croons - You didn't lose no cell phone, did ya?.....And then he's all over her. It's sickening. She can't take it. She tries to push him away. But he don't wanna stop. He goes to grab her, probably reaching for her hair. But one of his fat fingers gets hooked in her earring and he accidently pulls it through the ear lobe. He goes 'Ooh! Christ!'...But then he notices that it don't bleed much. She shoves him away. Her hand flies to the wound. He says - No, lemme help. Lemme do something.....She says - Get away from me. Go to hell.....And then he sees it. He gets a real clear look, 'cause a car goes buy and the headlights shoot right at it. There ain't no wound. It's gone....He goes - What the fuck???....And he starts backing away from her. But she can see from the look in his eyes that he knows something's wrong. He knows somethin's strange......Sure, maybe she could have lead him on a bit. Swapped spit a little. Taken a tiny bite (on her tongue, I mean) and passed him a few drops. You know, make him a 'familiar. Only she hated the guy. And she over reacted. Two heartbeats later, and we're talking about fast heartbeats, she grabs his head, twists it around and ripes into his neck. I don't even think he yelled that much. He must have had a heart attack at exactly the same moment he was being 'culled.' And a moment later it was over. The body was laying dead on the gravel. She looked around. Nobody was there. Lucky they always tried to park in secluded areas. 'cause her honey didn't want to get 'dings' in his doors So she drags the flabby bastid back behind a dumpster, dusts herself off and walks back just as he goes 'woof' and disappears into the cold, blue flames.......Boy did she have to think fast. But she ain't no vampire for nothing. Cold as ice, that one was. Nobody even knew they were together. Baylah came back with the cell phone...But the 'good doctor'...'the dedicated healer' never made it back from the toilet. And it took 'em eleven hours till the cops unsealed the place and let 'em go home......Sure they're gonna find that greasy residue back by the dumpster. They're gonna test it. They're gonna find out what it is.....But hopefully, our toffee colored beauty will be gone before they did...........