Thursday, April 7, 2011

COME AND LISTEN TO A STORY......

Papa/Jimmy woke up from his Europa jag with Luna. But then he ditched her and went out solo, all decked out in some Dolce & Gabana yada, yada. Now he's hooked up with two flight attendants in the 'honeymoon suite' of some trendy, boutique hotel near the Parkway. Do they know about his peculiar dietary restrictions? No. He likes to keep that private. And actually, after twenty eight thousand years, I don't think he's even aware of it anymore. It's just a given. It's just the way he is. Some people are lactose intolerant and other people are all powerful, life-eaters. Who the hell has to know? One of the girls, the blond , nibbles around the fringes of showbusiness. She wants to be like a centerfold or an actress or something, only she ain't got no 'unauthorized' sex tape yet. And time is runnin' out. Cause like one of her boobs is startin' to go a little crazy. She can't get it to lay right. You've heard of havin' a bad hair day? Well, you can imagine the problems one lop-sided, tempermental jug can create. The other one, the auburn haired  goddess, don't care one way or the other. But the suite is nice. And they got the camera all set up. And the rich guy (Jimmy/Papa) is really hot, so yeah. If that's what she wants to do, fine. Now I'm sure Papa must be wondering why they want him to play to stage right all the time. I mean he's good natured that way. And multiple takes don't phase him a bit. Lucky he was in such good shape when Renate 'turned' him. Let me tell you, the three of them put on quite a show. They really give this vacuum cleaner a thorough demonstration. Should be a big seller. Should get the blond one a lot of attention. Maybe a spot on Celebrity Apprentice? Maybe a cushy second wife gig. And it's not like they ain't never showed no vampires on You Tube before. Our veteran readers must know what I'm talking about. Ooooh...They're playing 'doggie at the vet.' God is she a good actress. Almost makes me cry. Luna will shit herself (figuratively, I mean) when she sees this. She thinks they have some kind of understanding.... Yeah, he's the boss. That's it. That's the understanding.....

Good thing some of the night crawlers are responsible. Jonathon's working on a plan to get Johnny Jump Up. He figures maybe some kind of exorcism ought to do it. One of the Laurel Hill ghosts, the mistress of an 1880's railroad baron, thinks it's a case of 'cuckoo in the nest.' Let me explain it to you. J.J.U.'s death was so traumatic, that psychic waves pulsed  out in all directions. Oh, the 'beloved son' is gone. He's floatin' around somewhere where beloved sons go. But some other asshole, who didn't like being dead no more, managed to shimy his way into the corpse and prance around in it. Kinda like sneakin' into the picture show without a ticket. And that's who we're dealing with. He's havin' a quiet mumble with Doctor Franklin right now. Jonathon, I mean. Seems maybe the Great Armonica might be able to do something. Sure, Papa could probably set things right with a little nose twitch. But he just doesn't see these things. The other vampires are not much more than jazzed-up humans to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've gone over it. He knows the 'right thing' and he'll do it when he has to. Only you gotta throw a brick at his head to make him notice

Sarah's listening to show tunes over at Baylah's. That old piano player's really payin' off. Annie's 'googling' everything she can find on Disney World. Oh, God...That's gonna be a battle. And the rest of the magical menagerie (Edith and the other humans) are off stuffin' themselves at an all you can eat, Chinese buffet....Who'd I forget?  Lemme see...Oh, yeah, wilkravitz.....He's out with the elves. But they ain't doin' nothin' special. I think they're lookin' for sneakers.....I don't know. I think it's sneakers..It's always sneakers......So it's just me, Zebulon the disembodied spirit and that Little Bastard Annie, holdin' down the fort...keepin' the porch light burnin'...and watchin' some son-of-a-bitch, never-ending BeverlyHillbillies marathon on TV......Y'all come back now. Hear?