Wednesday, October 26, 2011

LIKE A VAMPIRE VERSION OF THE CASH CAB...BUT WITH MUCH BETTER PRIZES

Jonathon and Sarah are real quiet now. He feels like he did wrong. She does too. He sits in this little chapel they got, praying and praying. It's crazy the things they do. How they can brutally tear apart people and then on the way back home, have the driver stop so they can pick up the cinnamon raisin bagels Edith likes at this little bakery. It was so early, they got 'em fresh, while they were still hot.  She saw 'em on the counter in the kitchen when she got up. Ate two of 'em toasted with cream cheese. She knows she's supposed to cut down (yes, she does check in with some kind of a G.P. from time to time), but as long as the vampires slip her a few drops of their special 'Whammo' blood when she needs it, what does she care? If the Red Paints hadn't snuck in when they did she might have finished off three of them.

I saw our two psycho killers before they went out. No killing tonight. This is gonna be just one a them 'walkin' around' evenings. He stuffed his pockets with some loot from the sub-basement vault...pieces of gold jewelry....some premium watches......the deed to a condo in Haddonfield, New Jersey. Don't ask. They got lots a stuff. And this is nothing new. He does it whenever he gets like this. Tries  to buy absolution for doin' nasty.  The girl, Sarah, follows his lead. She got a few diamond solitaires to distribute too.

But here's the good part a bein' a disembodied spirit. I can float out after 'em. Makes it easy for me to keep you all filled in. Right now, we are sashayin' down Locust Street in Center City. Not too many people around. This is just a week night. after all. He see's some young guy. You know the type - not quite homeless, but teeterin'.  Walkin' round with his hands shoved into his jeans pockets, tryin' to keep warm. Jonathon calls to him. He says - Yo, dude (our boy speaks the vernacular), think you can use this? -----Then he flashes some thick, heavy diamond watch. Rolex, I think it is....... The skinny young guy comes over. He looks at it. Doesn't touch it... just looks. Jonathon smiles. Sarah takes his arm. She smiles too.....The skinny guy says - Why? What do you mean?.............We don't mean anything. - says Sarah. You ever see that 'Cash Cab' TV show?.....Y-yeah? - answers the guy..........Well, this is just like that, only you don't have to get in no cab and you don't have to answer no questions..............Jonathon gives the watch a little wave and ads - Worth at least twenty thousand dollars. Even if you just let it go for the gold they should give you five...thousand, I mean.............Why you doing this to me? - whispers the guy............ He wants it real bad, but he's still a little scared.........Look, he's startin' to chew on his lip and everything............... Sarah says - Let's just say you're our good deed for the day........... Jonathon gives the watch a little shake, turns his head to the side and starts whistling........ The skinny guy reaches out his hand and takes it. But before he can manage to croak out a nervous 'thank you,' our night-crawlers turn and flash down that damp, narrow street like two 'Roadrunners' or something...... Guy stands there all slack-jawed a second or two, then turns and does the same thing. Only not so fast and nowhere near as smooth.

The two vampires do the same thing all over town. A char-woman coming off shift goes home with seventy five thousand dollars worth of 'Robin's Blood' rubies. Some pathetic wino wakes up to find his pockets stuffed with ten, little one ounce ingots  of solid gold. Old lady leaving an emergency room all by herself gets the deed to the condo in Jersey (with instructions to visit a 'familiar' lawyer in his office, just to finalize the deal). Some asked if they were crazy. Jonathon said- Yes.......And that seemed to explain it all. No more questions. Case closed. In all fairness, the char-woman did offer to reciprocate via some fast 'standin' up' sex. And she was a bit dissappointed when they turned her down. But two additional vouchers good for eight tickets to some ice show seemed to restore a little bit of her selfesteem.

They ended the night in Little Pete's on Seventeenth Street. Is it still called LittlePete's? I can't remember. But you know, that cozy, little coffee shop/diner they got near the Warwick? Ordered two 'decaf' coffees. Like it's gonna make a difference. Jonathon slips the Mexican kid two twenties, asks for a couple traveling cups and they leave. He feels better...just a little...She does too...... And a few minutes later (after a discreet cell phone call), their favorite cab driver picks 'em up in front of Boyd's for the comfy ride home.....

Johnny-Jump-Up saw it all from his hidey-hole amongst the garbage in a nearby dumpster. And when they left, he scrabbled out to warm himself in a moist, hot cloud a steam hissing up through an old corroded grate, from boilers far below.........

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