Friday, February 3, 2012

These are the days of EL RANCHO TEXACO ..... City a Mars

Now we gotta talk about the city. Sure they got other places up here. And some a them mighty slick too. But this one the king. This one the best. This one got it all. You ever been there? Barsoom, I mean. Named it after them Frank Marshall books. Don't ask me when he lived. Back before. That is all I know. Wrote down a lotta crap bout Tarzan-like goomers on Mars and big tittie princesses wiff saber-toothed tigers 'stead a French Poodles. Think they wore these suede bikinis too. You ever see a princess partial to a suede bikini? I don't mean like out on a beach. I mean like walkin' into church and all.


First Fleet put down 'round 2051. Some other goomers came by 'fore then. But that was just a howdy-doo. Grabbed a few rocks. Said a couple prayers. Dumped the first Captain Kirk's ashes into a hole in the ground. Did a dance. Did another dance.  Whole lot a hinky-dink, mostly for the folk back home. But they did sprinkle some seeds down 'tween two rocks, right over a 'damp spot.' Then they set up a little camera to see if they growed. Folks back home watched the whole thing. And ten days later (Mars days is mostly equal to Earth days) they knowed. They saw. They knew. It was possible. It could happen. Life from Earth could prosper here.  'Cause a whole mess a little green shoots come snakin' up toward the sun. Ain't no oxygen back then. But that wern't no problem, 'cause plants knows how to make it. They breathe it out. It like their shit. 


After that, whole cattle cars a seeds be dumped on this planet. Some took. Some  did not. But the ones what took won out. According to them what knows, two million, twenty ton loads a seeds got smashed onto this here rock. Then came the water, mostly from artificially crashed in comets. And twenty year later it commenced to rain. 


They did other stuff to goose things along. But that was the main thing. Held prayer meetin's in Jerusalem. Same thing in Rome. Three times the usual number made the Haj that year. Some folk up here got old magazine covers from that time. Collector's items, they calls 'em. Real pricey now too. Know what they say? They say - A Renewal of Revelation...  What comes next?......... Oh, that's what they thought back then. Look, them Plymouth Rock Pilgrims wrote 'bout 'A City On a Hill' too. 


But you know what we got? ....... We got Barsoom.


Come back tomorrow. I'll tell yuh more.........


Best to go inside now. Chupicabras startin' a yelp.


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