Friday, February 10, 2012

These are the days of EL RANCHO TEXACO ..... Dog hurt Billy's Back

Shame we can't tell yeh more, but that 'Billy' goomer what types it all out apparently can't push his fingers down on them keys so good no more. Some little fuss budget of a squashed down hound dog done tripped him up. So I jus' gonna learn yeh the good stuff.

All them Texaco bastids over at the ranch struck a bargain. Alec gonna get one ecumenical splendiforous send off. Only thing missin' is hula-hula girls. Miss Sissie (she the mama) gone have Teacher Davis. Bart (he the papa) gone have Supreme court of Mars Justice Scooter Barnes (think he gonna forgive the deceased a few traffic tickets while he at it). And Miss Monica, the disgruntled wife, gonna have a tag-team made up a one Creole Catholic Priest and some guy who wrote a real sad 'lady play' that ran six months in the Barsoom theater district. Only thing did better was the annual appearance of The Happy Nude Cowgirl Demolition Derby and Head Bashin' Contest. We do enjoy them classics.

Rapidly putrifyin' body in question over at Carson's Mortuary and All You Can Eat Seafood Restaurant. They got really good 'frigeration, don't you know. Ole Man Carson make rancid shrimp look like bunch a fat, albino caterpillars 'scapin' from a pool a savory, orange cocktail sauce. Cocktail sauce make dead folk cheek look rosy  too(after it dry a little).

And Miss Monica ain't so mad no more. She is no longer disgruntled. She mostly all relaxed and gruntled now. Doan wanna rock no boat, I guess. 'Fraid they might throw her off. An ev'rybody know she 'spect old man Hobart a 'take care' a her and them children.

I guess it all depends on how you translate 'take care.' Cause them kids might be Texacos....but she sure as hell ain't.....

Wish I could tell you more, but that Billy goomer's back cramped up too much. He layin flat on the floor, rockin' back and forth and moaning like it Cleopatra's  honeymoon.

That's all from EL RANCHO TEXACO for tonight.

Go get youself a glass a Pepsi-cola and a couple Lorna Doones.... 


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