Monday, February 20, 2012

These are the days of EL RANCHO TEXACO ..... Time keepin'

Folks what refugee out here finds it strange at first. It not the day what gets 'em. That only 'bout thirty nine Earth minute longer than the one you all got back on the 'home' world. And we already told you how folks use that time for an after lunch siesta, or maybe like a leisurely crap-takin'. So that ain't the hard part. It the year we got what give 'em the hinky-dinks.  Y'all tend to forget that we the next road out. It take 'bout ten and a third a your months longer for us to glide  our way 'round 'Kansas.' So most years Christmas come twice. Easter come twice. The Feast of Divine Redemption (I believe Jews in your time still calls it 'Passover') come twice. And The Month of The Revelation (what y'all know as Ramadan) come 'round two times too. That means all them holidays got a warm celebration an' a cold celebration. 'Cept if they hit on the spring and fall. Then they both just so-so. Now some folks like the variety. Winter time mean a big, ole turkey (cultured for the poor. freshly killeded for the rich) and hotter months bring out other stuff, like barbecue, or seafood.  Maybe that why we so rough and ready up here. Life always changin'. Some goomers say them bitty, little moons, Phobos and Demos gone come in for a landin'. I do not know when that will be. But if I recollect correctly, it gone be a good, long time. Who cares? We won't miss 'em. They so shrunken-up and puny, don't look like much no how. And not like the gov'ment gonna let it happen. They prob'ly send 'em off careenin' into Kansas long time 'fore.

Yeah, 'Kansas.' We calls it Kansas. That star. The sun, I mean. An' I guess y'all can figure out why. It from that Oz book. It from that movie. First time anybody ever give it a name. Oh, they call it Big Light, Great Sol. What them Romans said. What them 'Gyptians said. All that shit. But nobody ever give it a real name. Not till that book anyways. 'Kansas, she said, was the name a the star. Kansas, she said, was the name a the star.'....................... And that what it is. 

It seems I do have a recollection a some goomer tellin' y'all that in another parallel universe. I think y'all call 'em 'story arcs.' But I just wanted a polish it up all over for you. So when you goes outside and squints up at the sun, stop and say 'howdy-doody' for a minute. 'Cause it ain't jus' some nameless furnace up there. It Kansas. It  got a name. And now you know.

Now when them Tuva-Tuva gals went loppin' off in a the badlands, they din't do much squintin'. They eye's is used to it. Earth humans (them recently arrived ones anyways) pays docs for some kind a hinky-dink so they don't squint much either. That how you tell rich folk from poor folk. Poor folk get all squinty-eyed. They can't pay no docs. Rich folk can. We got other ways, but that jus' one.

And them badlands ain't all bad. Got 'molasses' mines out there. Got skinny, ole lakes out there. Some folks goes out on caravans a see them canyons. And I ain't tole you 'bout all what live out there yet. Some a the towns are all right. Borg stinks. Y'all ain't wanna go to Borg.  But Lucasville can be nice. Hear tell they make good wine out there. Ain't had none and never will, 'cause I jus' the wind in the pines. But you already knowed that. I can smell it, though. 

But them settlements I talkin' 'bout all seperate like and guarded up. Ever see 'She Wore a Yellow Ribbon'? That why they calls 'em 'Troopers.' Mars folk, I mean.  One set a humans (the new kind) does they hinky-dinks in the fence. And one set (them orange goomers) run 'round outside. 

Gonna take them Tuva-Tuva gals few nights a get there, but they will. Tuvas knows how to git water. They knows how to dig up all kind a eatin' stuff. Some of it animal eatin' stuff and some a it not. Soon that money they totin' gone be translated in a fire arms. Soon they gonna have a whole lot a new shootin' irons. 

And that stuff gone on all over this place. Some shit-for-brain travelers already got theyselves throwed in a chupicabra pit. 

And some soldiers already gone out on raids. Zeb gone be a good senator. He gonna vote for raids. They gone mix it up real bad.

Little Davey? He home from that hospital. He like them dogs. He like them sky-ponies. He like what them new kitchen maids cooks up. But he not gone have much time a relax. Badlands be creepin' in on 'em. 

Hell, soon even that Walgreen gone be a dang'rous place.......

'Around her neck she wore a yellow ribbon. She wore it  for her sweetheart who was in the cavalry'...... I likes that song......


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