Saturday, February 4, 2012

These are the days of EL RANCHO TEXACO ..... sniff-pig

Miss Sissie went out to the pool house with one a the cops. He requested a piece a Mister Alec's clothing, the more personal, the better. She knew the fat Tuva-Tuva girl was a liar. She knew them changin' rooms hardly ever get washed down the right way. So it was no surprise  to her when they saw that wad a dried up man-scanties in a corner.  One a them belonged to somebody else. But the little plaid one had Mister Alec all over it. No, for real. It did. 'Cause too much ice-cream on a hot day give him diarrhea and he never learn. So they let the pigs get a  good snoot fill. And they truly did seem to like it. After that they put 'em in one a the tanks and drive out to the 'borderlands' 'cause that is where the best body-hidin' places are. Everybody know that. Got wrote up in BARSOOM MAGAZINE and everything. You know, that just the way it is. Some people gotta get theyselves wedged in like that. What are yuh gonna do about it?...Nuthin'.  Why all the bes' families got two or three people been jammed into cracks. Ev'rybody know that.

Rest a them Texacos congregate in the kitchen. Bart don't say much. He jus' sit there drinkin' some concoction the Tuva-Tuva gal mix up. Think her saliva is a major ingredient.  Kids is outside lookin' at that new, little sky-pony. Zeb and India wanna go back into town till they 'find somethin'.' But she don't care none. That bitch got a Cheerleaders For Jesus meetin'.  She one a the arch-angels. She a big deal wit that group.  Jus' 'cause she had herself a bonifide 'visitation.' Doc said it was probably jus' a transient 'schemic attack (You know, one a them cute, little, baby strokes?). But  she jus' had him throwed out  the 'lady' doctor union and got herself a 'cuter' one. Maybe you seed the story in The Clarion Call? -- 'My Intimate Chinese dinner with The Lord and Savior......... Nobody believe it at first. But then she start yellin - Ev'rybody know Jew like Chinee food, so you jus' shet yourself up!

Now they got a  pair a bamboo chopsticks hangin' in the Window a The Lychee Garden wit Divine Lip Prints on 'em.  Which is all well and good, provided the Divine Personage like Kiss Me, Stupid number twelve (it a lipstick). But that could be from one a the patrons, 'cause people be tryin' lick 'em up real good whenever they get the chance now. 

Whitey, the stable hand, gettin' restless. Wish them kids'd skeedattle. Gotta find that finger a better hidin' place, 'cause one a them sniff-pigs keep givin' him the glad eye.  And the younger semi-asshole kid wanna know why he walkin' like a Spanish dancer?

But Davey say - No, you doan know Whitey. He always squeezes his cheeks like that. 

Yeah...that Davey's a good kid.

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