Thursday, March 15, 2012


You know my name. I am Jonathon ben Macabi. And Although My story has not been smeared all over your after school television for seventh grade female children to shriek over, certain tit-bits of my 'life' have been illuminated via this blog. 

So you know of my 'family.' and you know of my predilection for fine, trim, black, leather bootkins. You know of my dark room deep beneath the cellars of the GlenGary house in Chestnut Hill,  plus assorted other jewel-box hide-aways scattered about the ancient districts of Philadelphia.

I know. I know. I know... Those cowboy, Martian bastards occupy the space right now. Yet what is Mars to one like me who's walked the moons of Saturn?...........Why am I doing this unseemly thing? Why am I speaking out of turn?..........Well, let me catch my breath and I will tell you.

Approximately fourteen hundred heartbeats ago, I witnessed a shameful burlesque of the Life-Eater existence upon my magic-calling-card........ I know. I know. I know. you call it by another name...An 'I-phone.' An 'I-Phone.' ....Two syllables. I know! I know! I have it. I got it. NOW SHUT UP!!

At times I awaken during my diurnal nap. In the past, I'd lay there contemplating ancient wrongs and visualizing exquisite forms of lethal retribution. But even enjoyable hobbies like that eventually grow boring. Edith, my 'familiar' recognizes this and brings me toys to wile away the hours. The latest is that I-Phone. ...... I use it to watch your idiotic spectacles and entertainments. ...My favorite is the one hosted by an immortal, aged, vampire woman.  'Barbra' I think the vampirina calls herself And she has a trained panel of human, barking seals who spout out ridiculous opinions on cue. 

But that's not why I am here. the Ellen woman ( I do not think her manic display even comes with a name) showed a 'clip' from an up-coming magic-lantern narrative, entitled DARK SHADOWS, ostensibly detailing the 'life' of a buffoonishly typical, penny dreadful blood-drinker called Barnabas Collins.... 'Barnabas Collins' indeed...No better than a threadbare clark from Dickens.

Do not be fooled by this simple and childish, facile rendering.....El Mundo Vampirismo is much more complex.  And I, who have faced the Fire Pits of Marseilles will teach you.

Yet I must endure the tortuous yodels coming from Mars. ....... Let the cowboys have their say. Let the 'troopers' speak.  Their tale will end. I SHALL RETURN and we will taste the warm, spring night together....


Kindly engage the SHARE button. Help my story live. Your obedient servant ~ Jonathon b M

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