Monday, April 2, 2012

These are the days of EL RANCHO TEXACO ..... We Gotta Get Outta this Place, If It's the Last Thing We Ever Do

The M.I.R. dowsed the Texaco townhouse with a solvent. Whether an acid, or something else, I do not know. But it relentlessly ate its way through the structure, passing down into the foundation and on into the bunker. Zeb figured they got it from the Chinese.

Little brown spots were startin' a bleed through the ceilings. Couldn't set in the quiet talkin' room no more, less you wanted your scalp all burned up from a little drop a that whatz'iss. So they all sat 'round the kitchen eatin' brown sugar, maple oatmeal. Miss Sissie wanted a put raisins in it, only they ain't  got none. Had a make do with big, ole, plump, green, seedless grapes. Texture was all wrong. But the sentiment was all right. What is grapes, after all, but raisins that ain't been killed yet? Power semi fritzy lately too. That whatz'iss stuff must a ate through somethin'.  All folks could do was play cards or Yahtzee. And  you do know them Nazis used to use Yahtzee as a torture, don't you know? Nazi-Yahtzee...go google it. you'll see.

Bart figured this a good time to bring it up. He tell 'em he got a way out. Then he take 'em into the sanctuary (one or two at a time) to ask Johnny. Zeke and Buster and Miz Zeke and Miz Buster ain't never seed no six inch, semi-dead, semi-immortal, holographic cowboy goomer before. They keep stickin' they hands into the image, thinkin' it gonna break up or somethin'. But it don't break up. All it do is make Johnny real mad, so mad he bite one of 'em (his kind a hologram can do that). Start yellin - Go to hell and drop dead, you God damn bastids!..........That was like a mantra with him. Bart start laughin'. He 'membered how burnt up his daddy could get. Rest of 'em (all kin, or mostly kin) wern't so hard to convince.  Miss Sissie wanna know what kind a shoppin' they got over in that 'other place.' Miz India wanna know if they got Jesus over there. Johnny say - This a omni-net, you dumb, bitch. We got all kinda Bible folk runnin' 'round over here. You can have lunch wit' Jesus every day, if you want. Ain't gone be the real one. Just one a his helpers. But still gonna be a mighty refreshin' experience.  That pacify our other holy-roller, Miss Sissie, 'cause she got questions for The Creator, herself. And if they could fix it so Elijah the Tishbite show up for her Passover Seder, that would be a mighty fine thing in her eyes. Monica don't say much. But she rarely do.

So, for a while everybody thinkin'. They just settin there, bustin' open them juicy grapes and swallerin' that oatmeal. Little Davey wanna say somethin' and finally, he spit it out........ Pop-Pop, he say, what we gone do when the war stop? What we gone do then? Will we be able to come back?.............. Bart sucks in a whole lot a air, puts his arm 'round the boy's shoulder and say - No, son. Far as I can tell, we will not.................Little Davey just say - Oh..............

Now they did try to contact the outside world. They did try to send a signal to Stinker Jones or some a Zeb's other cronies, only nobody ever answered. Well, that not 'sactly true. Communiss goomers (they the M.I.R.) did respond once or twice. But communiss voices ain't the same. Hell, the communiss voices (and the bodies what generated 'em) is the ones tryin' a kill 'em. They the ones poured that whatz'iss down on 'em.

An' you know what them M.I.R. goomers doin' to folks they ketch out on the street, or cowerin' under they beds? ...Now don't 'spect nothin' fancy, or like up to the minute. Plain, ole, bonfire work jus' as nice. One take the arms. One take the legs. Swing 'em back and forth. Build up some momentum. Throw 'em up in a the sky and WHOOSH!, down in the fire they goes. Every time some poor goomer scream all them communiss bastids laugh and stomp and whistle. Communiss kids yell - Again, Daddy! Do it again!.....

Bart know'd all this. That why he so fixed on gettin' out..... So he kiss Little Davey on top a his head, even give real sad looks to Monica's two (his other grandchildren) and say - You think I do anything to hurt you?...Now finish your oatmeal and let's go downstairs. 

But he did watch real close, with tears in his eyes, as they quietly ate it all up.........

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