Thursday, April 26, 2012

Grilled Humans and Coffee Cake

You must remember. My ears always had to be hidden. The elfin look... the points, you know - Marianne added. Fortunately the mores of the time dictated modesty. Some wore fine, little hoods tied under the chin. Matrons topped them with can I describe it?..... truncated witches hats. You know. They did not end in a point, but were arbitrarily beheaded  half way up.  You see them in Northern Renaissance paintings, or Baroque, or whatever the period was. Oh, and I had ice skates too. But that's when I was till human...... I don't know why I said that. I hate when vampires speak of themselves as 'not human.'  We are altered, but we are still fundamentally the same. Is my body still not essentially a human body? I am 'changed,' but, even though we use the word, not 'transformed.'

A man sitting under the Joan Miro said - What happened when you left Antwerp? Did you fly? Did you sublimate, like when he rescued you from that dungeon? 

No, nothing like that. We should have, but we just walked. I do not know. Perhaps he thought I could not do it? Maybe he doubted his own talents? It's dangerous. You have to understand that. It doesn't always work. I once saw a vamperino from Charleston get stuck half way through a thick, stone garden wall.....

Ewww, what happened? - said the Jolly Rancher addict.

Marianne studied the graceless woman with cold dispatch and said - Half of him fell on the asters and half crashed into the rose bushes. And those attending The Assembly (society dance) got quite a shock when the legs and 'tushie' , I think you say, jumped up and tried to run away. But the cold, blue flame put a stop to that. We heard the top half scream, with the head and all, from the other side....So now you know another way to finish us...dismember the body. Yet if the two halves were adjacent to each other.... he might have been able to grab hold of his hips and 'gum' them up into the mid section. He might have survived. Decapitated vampires have been known to vault from the block and fight the executioner for his fresh, new trophy. A severed head...a vampire head, can be stuck back on. One or two nights in a dark root cellar, holding it in place is all it takes.

Do vampires go to hell?- asked a voice from the rear....... I don't know - said the 'young' Elferina. I've never been there....... Do you know if they're gonna serve any cake? - whined a disappointed sugar addict...... Roland, her vampirino soul mate, sitting in a wing chair, piped up and said - You want me to run out to Wawa (a Philadelphia convenience store) and get some?....... Marianne didn't answer, but the sugar addict smiled and nodded vigorously. Roland was about to go, but the tasteful chatelaine, whose house this was, cleared her throat and said - Please, we've already taken enough chances with food in here. Please, no more crumbs, no more stains..... The sugar addict was crest fallen, till her mate leaned over and whispered - Wait til later. We'll get pancakes.

Have you ever seen a naked person seared on a red-hot griddle? - added Marianne....... Some just stared. A few silently shook their heads. And the sugar addict looked like she didn't want pancakes anymore....... Certain body parts tend to stick....the male genitalia..... the female nipples. Sometimes they come  right off............ Did they do that to your master, or the dominee, or whatever you call him? -  inquired a curious soul......... No - said the vampirina. But I 'did' see them do it to someone like you...........Oh, God. What did  you do? - asked the look-alike...... I laughed - said Marianne. I simply broke down and laughed...... 

When you gonna tell us about your capture? - said a bored Mafia nephew with too much to spend.

Don't rush me - said the miraculous, 'young' lady. And she gave him a look that said she meant business......

But in truth she was ready to tell all.......

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