Wednesday, June 20, 2012

A NIGHT AND A DAY WITH DOCTOR BENJAMIN FRANKLIN -----vampires make good house guests

Vampires make good house guests. They never dirty the bathrooms or use up all the toilet paper. Doctor Franklin enjoys entertaining night-folk. And via a tiny chip inserted deep into the sleek thigh muscle of Sarah (or was it Tomas?) during an earlier 'visit' he was able to steer the conversation inside the taxi-van his way. The always eager MOLE GIRLS will have to wait. All stripped down and no one to grope. That's just the way it is. 

Were the vampires aware of DOCTOR FRANKLIN'S influence? No, not at all. The scientifically preserved reprobate is much to subtle for that. SARAH started it. She said - Who wants to see the mermaid?...... Annie loves more-than-mythological creatures. She was all for it. Tomas enjoys all night bull sessions with America's MERLIN too. So they did a minor hoo-doo to the driver's cerebellum and approximately twelve minutes later pulled up to his door...... a nondescript green, metal portal leading to what looked like a storage locker set amidst a slew of commercial, quasi military structures deep within the contemporary labyrinth that is Philadelphia's reborn NAVY YARD. And it's almost impossible to get in. But Doctor Franklin gave the heads-up to his ANTI-ENCHANTMENT-BUREAU cronies (the REAL men in black, although fine, buff khaki is also acceptable this time of year) so all barriers were down. Even switched all the outdoor security lights on and off as they passed.

LUNA came up to greet them. She's a vampire M.D. currently working with Doctor Franklin and the Bureau. Tomas used to have a thing for her. Sarah knows it. Caused a big cat fight. That's why they were originally banished from the Penn Museum. {remember...this is an on-going account of life among the not-quite-dead and has been running for almost 700 nights} . Oh, he still 'admired' her...the polished dark blond bun...the classic features.... the willowy build. But the nights of playing dusty 'vaquero' and lusty cantina girl were over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know he cheats (remember the Mole 'Ladies"?) Yet even hard, trim, 'young' vampirinos must practice discretion sometimes......... He did brush a tiny bit of lint from the breast pocket of her crisp, white lab coat. And she smiled, ever so slightly. Sarah just bit her lip. Papa quietly chuckled to himself, as they entered the stainless steel elevator for the quick, fast ride to the bottom. 

And CONRAD'S eyes were wide as saucers, for the menagerie of fantastical beasts (and beings) is definitely something to see. (I will provide details tomorrow night.) 

The JERSEY DEVIL whinnied, flapped his huge, leathery wings and raised a bottle of Guiness in salute.

Two repulsively hairy TROLLS occupied the next dimly illuminated chamber. But they just blinked and continued chomping away on the contents of their fresh-dead-cat basket........ Annie especially liked that part. 

Then they saw it, an artificially created moonlit grotto, sealed behind two inches of distortion-free glass. Semi-tropical foliage rose up from the 'shoreline' and shimmering 'rafts' of bio-luminescent plankton rode upon the tiny wavelets.

Conrad said - This where that mermaid lives?..... Luna nodded. The others stood silently, as twelve heartbeats later the head of a pouchy-faced old crone broke the surface and cackled at them. Tomas politely waved. The crone said something in her own language, which sounded like nothing so much as fish kisses, or wet, geriatric farts. A moment later  she hoisted her bloated, sagging, decrepit form up onto a rock and played with her yarmulke sized nipples.

The VAMPIRES watched transfixed......even Papa. And no one noticed as the wispy-haired old reprobate (wearing his signature, shamrock green, Philadelphia Eagles sweat suit.) tooled in to join them upon his latest (and best) electric scooter.

Though it seemed Doctor Franklin had something important to say.......


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