Thursday, September 13, 2012

SARAH GOES 'VAMPIRE CRAZY'

Sarah usually fed with Tomas. Not always on the same night. But he often accompanied her. Their cycles weren't congruent. She was a full moon feeder. He was occasionally, yet his cycle tended to migrate. Some periods ran twenty eight days and some thirty. And then there were the rare times he sipped a little blood between meals.

But this one was special. The victim, I mean. Sarah hated him. She had the dream. She had the vision, so that part was all right. Trouble was, Annie wanted to go. The juvenile vampirina liked to watch.  Got all excited. Made her giggle. Made her giddy. She loved it. Papa let her do it when he was around (no telling how long he'd be off with that MADAM SHANG person, or whatever she was). Tomas never thought it was right. Didn't feel it was proper. You know how he loves all that religious stuff? When he tries to 'convert' her, Annie says - Eww! Get off me, you Jew! I don't do that! I don't do no Jewy crap!.... And she lays down and kicks him with her feet. Vampires, even skinny, little vampire, snot nosed girls, can kick hard. But he just bats her away and says prayers. One day she'll learn. 

Sarah's trying to sneak out. Can't sublimate, 'cause she's got to save her power for the kill. You know some confrontations can be messy. So Edith has Annie in the kitchen. Made her a hot toddy... some kind a rum and some kind a flavored butter.  Got a little apple schnapps in there too. Serves it like a soup. Not every vampire can tolerate all the additives. Most only take in alcohol... besides blood, I mean. But Annie can and she likes it. 'Soup' is a big favorite with her. Says it makes her feel like one a them kids on the Brady Bunch, or like Leave It To Beaver, if Leave It To Beaver was a girl. Bet she eats the whole pot. It's not a huge pot. It's a sauce pan... from the Rachel Ray set. Tomas bought it. He likes the way it looks...but still.

So Sarah did manage to get out of the house. Walked down the little, narrow thoroughfare. Guy didn't live too far, just over in Old City. You gotta love these Philly neighborhoods. Dickens' London never had none better. He was a big boss man. Ran some company. Wrote evaluations. Fired folks for fun. Came on to the young girls. Belittled the young guys. Drove one or two to suicide, but they covered that up. Still, Sarah knew. She had the dream. It was his time. 

But this one was ready for her. This one knew she was comin'. Some human beans can do that, read minds, I mean. So when she sublimated through the door, he was waiting. Just stood there, all naked, peein' in a glass (good one from williams-sonoma, or someplace like that). Then he held it up, smiled and drank it..... Ain't no vampire gonna drink piss-blood. They can't stand it. He goes - And that was the third one..... Then he hiccuped and laughed. 

You could see from her eyes that she was gonna do something. She was hungry too. So she take a step toward him. Naked fella back up. She go closer, til he press tight against the wall. He belch right in her face. She gag. He giggle. But then she pinch a nipple real, real hard. Naked fella start goin' - Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!..... Then he go - No! No! No!.... Finally he just cry. She twist him 'round real fast and grab him by the arms. You know, the way wrestlers does? Then she whisper in his ear. She say - Oh, you still gonna die. I ain't gonna eat you. But you still gonna die....... Then she radiate out all her hoo-doo (naked fella gotta be in it too) and sublimate right up through the bedroom, the roof and everything. Fly him back to the townhouse and smack him right down on the granite island in the kitchen. Edith almost had a hearty-tack. But Annie get real happy. She start clappin' her hands and dancin' 'round. Reach out to touch parts a him too. But Sarah yell - No! Little gal don't do that!..... So she don't.... But maybe 'bout six heartbeat later she go - Whew! Why he stink so bad?...... Then she run over and throw up all the hot toddy right down the sink. Lucky it all liquid.  Annie know Sarah not gonna drink him all up. That instinct. Vampire know that kind a crap. And seein' that he do deserve to go 'guhk' Sarah ruminatin' some other plan. 

What you gonna do!? What you gonna do!? - yell Annie...... Sarah say - Watch...... Then she go out to the vestabule by the fancy-talkin'-room (what folks up here calls 'the living room') and press the button for the elevator. I tell you, this place got everything. When the door open she reach in and send it up to the attic (which here is like a studio). Does somethin' else so door don't close. then she stomp in a kitchen, crack both thigh bones (not hers. the naked guy's), scoop him up (he all whimperin' and all), carry him out and throw him down the empty shaft...two floors til the bottom. He go 'oof' when he hit the cement. Some other part a his body break too, but I do not know exactly what. Then Sarah go - Annie! Get out here. You wanna hear this, don't you?...... Two heartbeat later she right behind her. Annie go - I wanna press it! I wanna press it!..... At first Sarah not gonna let her. But Edith, the human bean, Piney-witchy-woman, 'housekeeper' go - Let her do it. She good. She help me clean the kitchen while you out... So Sarah lean off to the side, gesture toward the button and say - Well, in that case, be my guest. 

Annie clap her hands, go 'goody-goody,' stretch herself over and push it. They could hear the guy mumblin' down below. 

Now house elevators ain't fast like office buildin's or condominiums. They slow. They quiet. When it come by the vestabule Sarah and the little vampire gal jump in. She gigglin'. She so happy. Soon-to-be-dead guy go - No! No! No!.....like he did when his nipples gettin' pinched, only this time a little bit sadder.

Soon only got 'bout two feet a go. He cryin'. He bangin' on the bottom a the car.... But it jus' keep movin'. 

Annie say she count each and every snap, smash and pop. After, when they look, he more like guacamole (from stomach bile) or crunchy peanut butter than human bean. Maybe little bit like hummus too. 

Edith say she call 'familiar' cleanin' service to scoop him out in the mornin'. They like two foreign-talkin' European umpa-lumpas. But they all right. Conrad and Tomas not know what happen, 'cause they still out.

So Sarah and Annie go upstairs to play with them whorey lookin' Barbies til vampire gal wanna go to sleep.

Sarah like spendin' time with her..... That how they bond...

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