Sunday, April 1, 2012

These are the days of EL RANCHO TEXACO ..... There's No Place Like Home

This is how they did it. First Davey (Bart didn't know how to work it) aspirated a tiny bit of blood from his 'MY FIRST HOME HEAD TRANSPLANT KIT' micro-mini squirrel-sea cow hybrid. They put the bitty little vial down on the small, black cube. A few heartbeats later Bart said the secret word (it's all voice coded) and the six inch tall hologram of his daddy, Johnny appeared. Apparently he was sleepin', 'cause he showed up in his under drawers. The kids (Davey and his two cousins) snickered. But it was all right. Johnny did not mind. Old cowboys, even Martian ones, ain't vain or bashful that way. 'Sides, them was his great grandkids. 


The six inch grand pop steps over to the vial and starts movin' it around wit his toe. Wants to see how heavy and dense it is. After that, he sends the still fleshy folk out a there. Bart picks up the plastic tub and takes the homemade mini monstrosity wit' him. He and the kids wait out in the plain, cement hall. More like a passageway. Things were never really finished off this far down in the bunker. 


Soon all the space in the sanctuary get filled up wit' bout a trillion little points of real slippery light. Tachyons, I think they call them. These little goomers go bouncin' all around, tastin' stuff and measurin' shit. Ten seconds later Johnny yells out - Y'all can come back now......... Bart carefully opens the door and goes in. After he's sure it's safe, he calls the kids back too. They look around. Everything is 'sactly like it was, only that vial ain't there no more. Bart say - What happened, Daddy?........... Little old (but not weak-old. he like a strong old man) Johnny say - It went to the other side. It over there. It on the internet now. Don't go rippin' you ears off over this. It worked.......... So they tried it with the mermaid-squirrel thing and it worked too. Johnny tell 'em all to move 'way from the walls, which is hard in such a small space, but they do manage to oblige him. Two heartbeats later, them walls disolve. They all standin' by the Big Pond out on The Polvarosa (that they ranch. that they home). Sky all blue. Air all spankin' fresh. They are still standin' on the finished off floor a that little room. Black ottoman still there. Rectangular plant stand still there. Little cube that Johnny pop out from still there (it go on top a the plant stand.) But in every other way possible, they home. Johnny, who is now normal size and wearin' his usual ranchin' duds, point out to the water and say - Look............... They does and there jumpin' and splashin' and playin' in the water is that squirrel- sea cow hinky-dink. How it went from bein' a mini-monstrosity to a full sized piece a whatzit still a mystery. An' the squirrel head bigger than any squirrel head got a right to be, but I guess it gotta be in order to make sense. 


Bart tear up. He bout a cry. But then Johnny shoot him a look. Tears dry up real fast. Great pop-pop (he like a be called 'Big Pop') say - Go back, boy and fetch me them others.................. Bart jus' nod and whisper that he will.......


One heartbeat later, The Polvarosa disappear and them plain, old walls is back around them........... Davey say - Pop, we gettin' outta here?...........And Bart say - Yeah, boy. We is.


Then they went upstairs to tell all the people.


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O. G. Tomes: AVAILABLE NOW!

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