Monday, January 28, 2013

Supper Time THE VAMPIRE REVELS 1/28/13

Of course you understand the Philadelphia contingent is a very moral group. Not because they're from Philadelphia. It has to do with Tomas...... Tomas de Macabea, also known as Jonathon ben Macabi, a one thousand year old life eater sealed within his eighteen year old body..... So you know how good he looks in that fourteenth century Romeo outfit..... More like a naughty Romeo actually. Annie says he looks cute. She's a fresh kid. what could she be now, eight? Maybe eight tops. Only been a vampirina for eighteen months. And let me tell you, THAT was a big mistake. But I digress.  Mister Never-You-Mind ain't here tonight. Think he's at a jazz club in London. He likes jazz. Whispers in people's ears. The musicians, I mean. Talks scat talk. Makes 'em go fast. Makes 'em go slow. But they don't know it's him. Think they all geniuses or something. 

Tonight you got Zebulon, the thirteen year old disembodied spirit who got stoned to death two thousand years ago. But I ain't angry. If I was just dead, layin' in a box I might be angry, but this 'after-life' thing they got going on is all right. I see people gettin' dressed and everything. I see a lot a really good stuff too, like what's going on down in the dungeons. 

They got a big room. Stone floor. Stone walls. No light, just a few torches. All real rough and old. Think they used to rip the guts outta Scottish kilt guys in there. Ripped the guts outta lot a people. But tonight they're just killin' 'em. Drugged all the human beans. Put some powdery crap in the gruel. Call it gruel here, but I seen the cans. It's just Hormel beef stew. Like dog food for cattle-people. They eat it like zombies. Give 'em wooden spoons...old clay bowls. Just shovel it in, hunched over, silent. All a them wearin' 'birthday' suits.

Somebody drowns the lights. Must be magic, 'cause they ain't 'lectric like folks got now. Cattle-people moan a little, real quiet. They 're ascared a the dark. guess it comes from being locked up with vampires all around. 

Five heartbeats later, torches all lit again. Don't look no different. Bunch a naked people eatin' canned stew. Must be cold sittin' with their bare butts on them stones, but they don't know. The just eat. They don't see. Or they pretend not to see. Lot more people in there than there was before. But the new ones ain't eatin'. They're just sittin'. They're just lookin'. They CAN see. 

One of 'em gets up and goes over to a fat man. Squeezes in between the fat man and a stringy haired woman with a goiter. Don't see many a them these days. That's where one side a her neck look like she growin' another tittie, 'cept it ain't got no nipple on it. I know. I know. Thirteen year old disembodied spirit shouldn't talk like this. But I seen too much stuff all these years. What are you gonna do, kill me? 

'Fat Neck' got bulgy eyes too. It's mostly dark in there. Orange flickers all they got. She try pressin' close to some other lady. But other lady like a professional crazy woman. She wants a scrunch away, 'cept there ain't no room. So she just go 'Eww! Eww! and bats at her with her hands.

'Fat Neck' starts cryin'. Not really cryin'...keening like peasant women did at old time funerals. New naked one pressin' in on her leans closer. She sees he got teeth. Vampire teeth, I mean. She goes - No. No. No. But that powder stuff makes them all weak-like. She can't hardly talk. Then the new naked guy sticks his fangs up against her skin and bites down. Bottom teeth cut in too. She's floppin' around like a fish, tryin' to get away. but she's not goin' no where. Vampire guy bites out a chunk a flesh. Spits it out on the stone floor. Some vampires would just masticate it to get all the blood and then spit it out. But he don't do that. Got a be circulating blood, fresh blood. That's what he wants. 

'Fat Neck' disfigured real bad. Goiter ain't nothin' now. Vampire guy hug her all up and down. Sit her on his lap and go to town. He slice his teeth right into a vein. Might be an artery, but I don't know. She goes - Oh! Oh! Oh!. Few heartbeats later, the 'oh's' get real quiet. She twitches for a little bit. Then she dies. Other cattle-people make like they don't see, 'cause they're too scared to admit they do. Few start shittin'.  Some start babblin'. He push her down on the stones. Two heartbeats later, her dead body goes 'poof!' and crackles with a cold, blue flame. That makes 'em all go crazy. Start hollerin' and spittin'. Other naked vampires wake up then too. Start rippin' into folks. Some bite necks. Some bite stomachs. Some bite parts I know you don't want me talkin' 'bout. Blood all over. Cold, blue flames all over. Vampires don't burn, though. Only dead, cattle-folks go poof. 

Five minutes later flames go out. Cattle-folks bodies all gone. Vampires all greasy. Bloody too. Then they look at each other and laugh. One gets up and does a little dance. But he slips and falls in the dead cattle-folks grease smeared all over the floor. Clumsy vampirino smack his ass on them stones and goes - Uh oh!... Other vamperinos and vamperinas laugh some more. Then they get up and file out through the door. One goes - Ouch! I just cut my foot on a sharp piece of bone!..... And then they're gone. Big dungeon room's empty. Tongue-less functionaries shuffle in an' clean up. Rest a the cattle-folk locked up where we can't see, start moanin'. But nobody pays them no mind.

Half hour later them vampires all washed off and fixed up.

Then it's time to dance...

please nominate me for a SHORTY AWARD. Just tweet this ~~~> I nominate #BLOGGER @wilkravitz for a SHORTY AWARD based on his stories and narratives...... And if you want to see something else that's good, click on this ALEXIOS ... thank you for these heartbeats of your time.

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