Wednesday, January 30, 2013

What 'King' Rafe Does... THE VAMPIRE REVELS 1/31/13

I'm not gonna tell you who I am. You don't gotta know. I have narrated a lotta books. But some bitch who writes a big series don't like me and she got a well known 'medium' to shove some proverbial 'hot peppers' up my ass over here on the other side, so now I keep my mouth shut. Call me whatever you want. I do not care. But I'm gonna tell you what I want to tell you anyway.....

This is still about the first big reception. At 'King' Rafe's, I mean. He's crazy. Even for an old vampire, he's crazy. Just sits on his throne... makes little finger waves at people.... Sometimes he makes these fart noises with his mouth..... Sometimes he stands up, turns around, rearranges whatever he's wearin' and moons everybody. I like this thing he does where he lays there like a reeking corpse with great clumps of slimy, squirming earth worms fallin' out of his mouth. They crawl all over his clothes and legs and everything, til they get down on the floor. Then they turn into all kinds a fancy bracelets... emeralds.... diamonds.... blood opals..... Vampirinas and vamperinos scoop 'em up like pop-beads at a Mardi Gras booby-flashin' party. 

Sometimes he makes the headless musicians wander through the dancers, serenading the best. People pretend they like it. Nobody wants to offend 'King' Rafe. But he knows how they really feel. What's he care? I think he's the oldest vampire at this thing. A lot of the truly ancient ones never show up....not here.... not anywhere. Because, look, what are they gonna get out of it? The one them Philadelphia life-eaters call 'Papa' don't come. You think he needs 'magic?' You think he needs 'spells?' Spells are just a bunch a crap. Them what can do real magic just think. They give a look (or don't even give a look) and whoop! there it is! Who they think listen to them poems anyway? Magic words! Let 'em all go to hell.

One a the big humans had a heart attack. I think it was some politician. Not nobody you vote for. They don't come to these things. We get the ones them what gets voted in picks, like for special jobs, or liaisons to foreign countries, or business people what got billions a dollars and want everybody to love 'em. This one was one a them. Wandered down to the dungeons and saw some a them cattle-people. Just stood there, froze to the spot. Functionaries seen it. They got him outta there real fast. But he seen it. He seen it. One lone wolf type vampire who don't like a eat with them others, chewin' on a cryin' little white boy. Think he was white. I don't know. Just tell you in case details important, or something... Little white boy bleedin'... beggin'.... They supposed a give 'em somethin' a make it quiet-like. But don't always work with all of 'em. Blood drippin' down his neck...his belly... He blubberin'... hiccupin'..... You know how children get..... Lone wold type strokin' him...shushin' him..... brushin' his hair back.... lickin' his face..... It was pathetic. This was a 'noxious' vampire, a real 'noxious' one. I can guarantee you that. And that human guy saw the little boy die.

Functionaries bundle him back upstairs. But he can't go back to the party. No, they can't let him do that. Sure them humans know how night-folks eat. But seein' actors do it on TV is a lot different than seein' genuine teeth rip into genuine flesh... 'specially juvenile flesh. Some go through two or three at a time... Not all, but some.

Put the political guy in a 'mummy case.' It is not a real mummy case. Them vampires just call it that. It like a preservation box, so they can play with him whenever they want.  Use him for 'games' later. You know, like for the 'after party.' Revels got a lotta after parties.

But now he layin' there. Can't move. Can't do nothin'. But he can breathe. It like a thick egg shell. Air get in somehow. He cryin'. Oh, he cryin'. But inside surface a the case just suck it all up. Looks like a funny bowling pin, only wit' a punier head. Got a tick in there wit' him. That part was an accident. Trouble is case keep tick alive too. 

Vampires are OK. Some can be mostly nice. But even so.... they still vampires....

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please tell others about us. no, please...please... we really mean it. and if you're willing to help, could you maybe nominate me for a SHORTY AWARD? Just tweet this ~~~> I nominate #BLOGGER @wilkravitz for a SHORTY AWARD based on his stories and narratives ........ what? you want some supermarket coupon, 'mommy' blog to win, or some phony bastid 'celebrity' to swoop down three or four nights before closing and get they cattle are riled up?.... please... help me....please help me.....

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