Wednesday, March 27, 2013

A SEPHARDIC VAMPIRE AND A CRAZY GIRL HIDING IN A MUSEUM GET THINGS ROLLING .. 3/27/13

So Jonathon smiles at the crazy girl who accidentally killed her virago boss. She smiles back. Got ugly teeth, but that's all right, 'cause most people in The Bible never wore no braces.  She says she's hungry and tells him they have a glass doughnut case with a real snug door in the ground level snack bar. Most nights the guy never empties it 'cause he's just a real lazy son of a bitch. No, it says so on his t-shirt. That's how she knows. 

They sneak down a dark, little side passageway with a brown linoleum floor and tiny, two watt security lights. But the big green, metal door is locked. Jonathon sublimates his hand and part of his wrist through the surface and fiddles with the lock on the other side. Crazy, weird, teacher girl says - Wow. How do you do that?.... Jonathon says - Meditation.... She goes - Oh..... Ten seconds later, door opens. He says - After you... She responds with a curt, little nod, sniffs back some snot and enters.... He follows. They walk down an almost completely pitch black hallway, lit only by the red and white plastic exit light atop the far off door. 

Teacher girl says - So, what are you?..... He says - Uh, I'm a Spanish Jew, Rite of Spain. 'Sephardic' they call it.... She says - No, come on, what ARE you?.... Jonathon says - Well, lets just say I'm 'special.'... Girl says - I hope that don't mean you're a 'retard?' Man, a magical retard. That could be a dangerous situation. And I hate to say that word. I was just thinking how the kids throw it around all the time. So if you're in any way afflicted, I know it's a medical condition and forgive me....... Jonathon laughs - Oh, it's a condition all right. And I do forgive you....

They come to the exit door. She carefully opens it, looks passed and soundlessly makes her way across a wide, lobby-like expanse of terrazzo flooring, reflecting a dark, gunmetal glow from the clerestory windows above. He follows her and they proceed toward a snack bar tucked in a little alcove. But another museum dweller, a man in a black turtleneck, wearing a cartoony looking reindeer antler baseball cap was there first. He sees them, quickly scoops up his peanut butter cracker dinner and streaks out in another direction. Jonathon wants to talk to him. He wants to say something, but the girl shuts him up. She whispers - No, we don't do that. Leave him alone.

They go inside, take some doughnuts from the case, plus some cold drinks from the glass doored refrigerator. Then they slide into one of six orange laminate booths, lit by the weak glow from a florescent night light behind the counter. She spreads out napkins and they eat. Well, she does. He sips from a sixteen ounce bottle of Poland Water. Vampires do all right with certain fluids. And if forced to, he can down a few nibbles of solid food. Comes up later. But he can fake it.

A guard, seated in a little cubicle far away, sees them on one of his tiny screens. But he does nothing. It's obvious they're not art thieves. And he sees a lot of strange shit in here. So he goes back to his Maxim and leaves them alone. They rarely turn on the motion detectors, 'cause it's a mad house when they do. Birds get locked in. They set it off. Feral cats. Not too many rodents. Exterminators they got. So the moral vampire, known as Jonathon and the strange girl, who may be just a little too old to be truly called that, sit in piece.

Jonathon watches her eat. She breaks off little pieces of plain cruller and demurely pops them into her mouth. He smiles. She sees the sharp, tiny points of his cat-like fangs and says - What do you want from me?

He looks down. He swallows. He shrugs. But he knows.... He knows.

When you want to change the world, you have to start somewhere.

Vampires can't do it on their own....

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thank you. as you know, we usually post late at night or early in the wee hours. but we had internet issues last night, thus the 4PM posting now. if you want more, click on GIVE ME MORE ... and your COMMENTS & LINKS are always welcome. and ONE MORE THING... for some witty, off the wall laughter, go see the animated cartoons at http://mutsack.com ... 'weirdly and sublimely wonderful!' plus readers would be well served to hit http://AHardingBooks.com ... and http://ogtomes.blogspot.com ... and http://caballoblue.com ... too for more weirdly wonderful, intriguing material...




1 comment:

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