Tuesday, May 7, 2013

MOST EVERYBODY YOU SEE IN SHOWBIZ HAD THEIR NECKS REUPHOLSTERED ... 5/08/13

One of their mortal 'familiars arranged for a van... not a truck. Like one of those passenger vans that take people to the airport, or low rollers to the casinos. Clothes, supplies and all went separate. they had like an s.u.v.. I don't know who drove that. Jonathon took his books to the bank. Not to a safe deposit box. The old, vellum copies of La Ciencia Vampirismo and his journal were far too rare and valuable for that. One of the directors (Edith jokingly refers to him as 'Mr. Drysdale') keeps them in a special vault, with cryogenic preserved celebrity heads and never-seen photographs of a certain First Lady.

So they set off... Sarah and Jonathon..... Edith and Annie... Conrad and Leo (yes, Leo came back). Baylah went with her boyfriend. She was going to stay at the shore. But the rest of them would only be eighteen miles away.... maybe a little more. 'Papa' said he'd meet them there. He managed to mumble that. Jonathon shrugged and said - As you wish...... Look, what in the world could possibly happen to a twenty eight thousand year old, all powerful, young-Richard-Gere look-alike? Sometimes you gotta let these eccentric vampires just have their way.

Night rides over the bridge and into Jersey are fun. Annie loves them. Driver takes little secondary roads, so they avoid all the suburbs and commercial stretches. Narrow, little two lane highways cocooned in over-arching trees. No lights. No people. Hardly any cars. Edith tells ghost stories. Sarah listens to old classics on her iPod. Think now she's got 'I'm Being Followed By A Moon Shadow.' The rest were mostly quiet. Occasionally Jonathon says something in Spanish to the driver. They chuckle. It's cozy. 

They go by a little farm market, all shuttered for the night. It's like a landmark to the vampires. Edith says - Good bye, Philadelphia. Hello, Pines..... every time they pass it. And the trees get even thicker. Jonathon says - Turn off the headlights..... The driver looks at him..... Jonathon says - It's all right. I'll keep us on course..... So the driver does. And they slice through a darkness complete and absolute. Every so often there's a break in the overhead foliage and stars shine through.... much more than you see in the city, but that only adds to the effect.... Jonathon begins to whistle his favorite 'hunting' song ----- When you go out in the woods tonight, you're in for a big surprise.... Sometimes it's the last thing his victims ever hear.

And that's when they start to appear.... The creatures, I mean... Small scraps of life with very reflective eyes. Some shine yellow, others orange, or red. They dash 'cross the road and dive into thick, ancient hedgerows.... The driver says - Want me to put on the lights?..... But Jonathon goes - No, don't disturb them..... One is not so small and according to the height of the eyes must be at least seven and a half feet tall. But that's all they can see. Then they hear hoof beats (somewhat muffled by the carapace of the van), as it takes to the air and disappears...... A full grown Jersey Devil - Jonathon whispers.... The driver goes - Uh, huh..... He's scared..... 

Edith goes - Ray!!! We're home!...... But they still have a way to go.

Annie turns on her little phone thing. Leo goes - Turn that the hell off!.... He likes the dark. Most vampires do. But she says - No. Shut up! Leave me alone! ... as she continues to surf. He goes - What the hell you readin' that's so important?..... Little Annie says - I'm readin' 'bout all the bastids in TV and movies what got their necks reupholstered......Who? - says Leo.... She shows him. And they quietly sit, head to head, reading the juicy gossip (though out of consideration,  he shades the light with his hand), as they glide through the nighttime magic.

Edith begins to laugh suggestively. Mister Edith knows she's coming. And he begins to tickle her telepathically. 

The Pine Barrens are real, oh best beloveds... (of course you know we pronounce it 'be-lov-eds?) 

And everything we tell you here is true.
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thank you. if you'd like to see earlier episodes, click HERE   ... your COMMENTS are especially appreciated...

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