Thursday, May 16, 2013


They took us to this place. It's a real old place. Piney folks didn't do it. Red Paint folks don't say, but they must a done it. Just a little clearing, maybe thirty feet across, edged by a neat circle of sharp leafed holly trees. Each one's about fifteen feet tall. Some 'tree races' (as our hosts call them) don't grow that much. Had to step through these bushes at the bottom. You could tell the place was carefully tended. Edith says it's a talk to the dead place. We had this guy with us, a Red Paint guy. Looked a little like Captain Jean Luc Picard of the star ship Enterprise, but not that much. Red Paint guys show some variation. Women too. They don't all look like famed Olympic skier Peekabo Street. Maybe in the dark they do. But I don't know. 

We sat on old dried up stumps. They made like a smaller circle inside the trees. Red Paint guy don't say nothin'. Just gestures and we all sit down. Little Annie ain't with us. She monkeyin' around somewhere with Pin-Head-Mel  and that little Jersey Devil boy. Remember Mister Tumnus, that faun guy from Narnia? Well, he looks like him, 'cept his naked parts is covered in real short gold-sandy hairs... like velvet. Don't make him look hairy...just velvety, even his face. 'Case you missed a few episodes, head hair all normal and wavy. Runs down his spine like a mane. Never seen him fly, but he do got the bat wings. Daddy Devil flies though. Him I seen.

Nobody say nothin'. We just sit. Conrad whispers that he's bored. Jonathon give him a look and he shut up. He ain't bored. He jus' don't like this, 'cause of originally bein' almost a monk 'fore he got the 'night-fever.' That boy one strange vampire. I tell you that. Me, Edith and the driver guy can't see no ghost yet, 'cause we jus' human beans. Even though Edith, bein' a 'pow-wow' woman does have a certain sensitivity. But she say the rough stump make her ass itch, so she mostly concentratin' on that. 

Then the first one come. No noise. Leaves don't rustle. No nothing. Jus' all of a sudden, whole mess a big, shiny, roachy things come runnin' up from the brush. We could see 'em in the torch light. Run up legs. Run up arms. Dash cross faces. Nibble at ears. Sarah twitch a little, but just a little. Red Paint folks don't do nothin.' ..... Conrad go - Ewww!.... Somebody yell - Shut up!.... But I don't know who it was..... Then we hear laughter... real quiet and tinny like. One by one the roachy things go pfft! and disappear into small, rising tendrils of smoke. Little nebulous  ropes meet in the middle, up above our heads, where they slowly weave together, before cascading down toward the grass and taking the shape of a girl. She laughs some more. Her dress all moldy and torn. First it look like she got her hands clasped behind her back. But then I see she ain't got no arms. They all ripped off.  Look like a chain saw did it, just below her little puffy sleeves. She say somethin' in a language I do not know. Jonathon say it French-Canadian. Say she got snatched off the Boardwalk in Atlantic City back in nineteen fifty six. Her tiny arms, bones now, still buried in the sand under the great, wooden promenade right by Caesar's casino. Nobody ever go back that far. Him what done it hide her body in the Pines. That why she here.  Him what done it put tourniquet 'round her stumps so she don't bleed out. Then he bury her in the dirt. No box. No nothin'. Just dirt. That how come she so friendly wit' the bugs.

Wants us to help her. Wants us to go get her arms back. Say she can't eat no spaghetti without 'em. Say she can't bounce no ball. Walks over. Starts sniffin' everybody settin' down here. Red Paint guy quietly says - Do not move. So we don't. I can see the rot on her almost transparent skin when she comes close. Then she snaps her teeth real fast, like she gonna bite my nose off, but she don't. Plays wit' Sarah's earrings. Jonathon whispers - Can you feel it?... Sarah mouths - Yes..... This continues for quite a while. She plays with the driver guy's hair. Runs her putrid fingers through it. And them ain't nails on the end. Ain't got no finger tips, jus' sharp, little, pointy white bones. Driver guy shudders. Then he laughs. She don't like that.... so she grabs the sides of his head and rips it off. His arms fly up. But what good they gonna do? Ain't got no brain to tell 'em how. Blood spurtin' up jus' like a chocolate fountain at the Golden Corral. We all sit and watch til it all over. Then Conrad go - Hey! Where her arms come from!? .... Red Paint guy say - She got 'em when she need 'em. Some ghosts is liars. Don't you know that?...... Conrad don't say nothin'. French-Canadian spirit girl all gone now. But we still gotta get rid a her leavings. I mean like the head and all. 

Red Paint woman say she gone sew it back on so it look better when we give it to the family. Jonathon say - He ain't got no family..... She say she gonna do it anyway...... Red Paint guy what led us here say - Thus speak the spirits....... Conrad says - Are they gonna say more?

Red Paint guy grin and go - What you think?

And that's it. That's what happened. Like a tourist thing. Like a luau in the Pines. 'Cept nobody cook no pig.

This is wilkravitz, the 'familiar' what blog this. Forgive me all the 'Piney' talk, but I am quite impressionable. Next time you'll see more...

How long we gonna sit here in the dark? I gettin' all itchy. Edith say that's cause a the body and the gnats and all. I go - Oh..... But that don't make it no better. 
thank you. for more weird and wondrous stuff, click on ~>MORE WEIRD AND WONDROUS STUFF ...

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