Monday, May 13, 2013


Leo was starting to get excited. Yeah, he's here too. you might have forgotten, but he's here. Likes to howl at the moon, rip his clothes off and dash through the streets. Cops got video. They don't like it. Jonathon had to spread around a lot of money to get them to back off. Now Leo mostly rips his clothes off and runs around 'wild' in Laurel Hill cemetery, the vast, old, moldering necropolis for the dead, high above the banks of the Schuylkill River. The caretaker and his wife know about him. And the little 'cherubs' (babies and toddlers tragically made vampires by warped and twisted night-folk) squeal and fly away at his approach. 

Sometimes he grabs a mortal kid or two. They sneak in to get drunk and play 'I Got You, Babe.' Only kills the runaways, 'cause that's like almost legal. But now we're deep in The Pines and he's feeling the beat. Look at him. He's already unbuttoning his shirt and it's really cold (for May) tonight too. Conrad sucks his teeth. He hates that kind a stuff. Annie nudges Edith and says - Where's that big, dumb nut takin' us?.... But Edith just shushes her. You don't mess with Red Paint people, not even vampires.  So our weird and wonderful safari silently snakes through the pines behind the man in the beaver tail tunic. Boy that must feel clammy 'gainst his skin. 

Now Leo ditched his shirt.  If you want to know what he looks like, he's OK... little bit stringy, but not too bad... Like a rock band front man with buzzed hair. An' he cracks his neck from side to side. Oh, he's gettin' tense. He's gettin' ready. 'Bout two hundred heartbeats later even the pants are gone. Conrad, his vampire step-brother, whispers - When you gonna change?..... But Leo just shoves him and says - Go to hell....

Then they hear the drums. You know what they sound like? Like those big tambors that guy plays at those CELTIC WOMEN concerts. Real strong... Real rhythmic... Real deep. The guy in the beaver tail tunic says something and they stop. Then he leads them 'round a bend into a clearing (just visible in the light from the smart phone.... how long can that last???) and there, just ahead, lies the settlement called Jubilee. Crude candles in small, rock hollows cut the darkness. Nine or ten simple plank 'cabins' served as architecture. And maybe twenty dancers stompin' and shufflin' around in the dirt. Some were naked. Some wore bits and pieces of squirrel hide. One 'lady' had an 'I'm With Stupid' shrunkin' up sweatshirt, but she didn't care...

An' them big tambor drums were made from human skin... whole tanned hides from the look of it, 'cause we could see the hands, feet and heads dangling over the rims. Looked like old folks. Probably keeled over from natural causes. Don't think they killed folks on spite. Hope not..... Guess we'll find out.

Edith led us to a spot a little ways off from the dancers. They had little benches back there, more like rough planed logs, so we all sat down. Our guide, the Red Paint guy in the beaver tail tunic, left us to join his friends... Looked like a line dance in Bedrock... Looked like a bunch a creeps from like a Mad Max movie. But we didn't say nothing, 'cause we were company. Edith says some regular (well, more or less) Piney folks'll be here in the morning. Says Mister Edith (her current husband) fixed up one a the root cellars for us. 

Look at Leo. He already makin' eyes at that woman in the shrunken up 'I'm With Stupid' sweatshirt. An' they better disappear in them bushes soon, or he gonna scandalize the whole place......

I 'm sending this  to you telepathically (I hope). All I know is it's giving me an earache and it's makin' my scalp itch..... 

They offer us something to drink... some kind of home brewed liquor. Vampires can tolerate that, so they take it. Looks like they got a full set of Scooby-Doo jelly glasses. Could be valuable. Who knows?

One a them little human tinged 'muskrat' creatures scampered in. Mouth looked all bloody though..... Then a full grown male Jersey Devil was all of a sudden just there.... Like a big faun or satyr with a mane gone down his spine and huge, soft, leathery bat wings, all folded up neat 'cross his back. No horns, though. Just big, pointy, kind of horsey ears. Sits down right next to Conrad.... Conrad slowly looks and goes - Hi...... Jersey Devil guy nods. then he starts pickin' something out of his hoof. Not cloven, like a real satyr, but plain, like what equines got.

Little man-rodent creature starts gnawing on what looks like a ripped off human finger. Don't know where he got it, though... 'cause we all still got ours. 

Leo ran off with that shrunken sweatshirt, naked from the belly down, Red Paint woman...

This is startin' a get real......

wilkravitz signing off..... D-did you get it?
thank you. for more paranormal madness hit ~> 

click PRETTY MUCH LIKE AN APP to wander through all Vampire Wonderland episodes.
click SEE and SAY to join me on Twitter.

The post up here and the one before it are from two years ago, but time and space mean little in Vampire Wonderland. Click NEWER POST down at the bottom if you want to see more. Please leave COMMENTS and my sincere thanks to all of you.

No comments: