Sunday, August 18, 2013

GENUINE SHRUNKEN HEAD KNOWS A LOT A WEIRD SHIT..... 8/18/13

Old woman got a friend. It not actually no live human. It a dead human and most a the parts is missin'. It a shrunken head. Old Mistah, brung it to her from New Guinea. He not like a tourist. They made him go there during THE WAR. Not like he could leave if he want to, or say - No thanks. I do not think I really want to get ripped in half by no Japanese machine gun, if you know what I mean...... Not like he could say - Gimme my stuff. I am gone home....Them what did that got they neck cracked at the end of a long rope. And them what did it told their grieving' mamas they was no good and deserved it.

Old Mistah not want a get his neck cracked. He stay and do like they make him. When he get all his legs blowed off they send him home. Tell his mama how brave he be. That what they say to the mamas what get sent back dead kids, or smashed up ones.... 'cause, like what else they gonna do?

He get work at a 'musement park. Dress him up like Humpty Dumpty wit' floppy, doll legs and a big red smile. Think it come from Tropical Red, Number 5 lipstick. It the nineteen forties  and they do shit like that. Old Woman not so old then. She a hootchie cootchie Moon Girl. Sell tickets on a Rocket Ship ride. Got like a sequinned two piece bathing suit with a witch collar and a old, leather, silver painted football helmet on top a her head. Got bug feelers too, but they just real long pipe cleaners.

Humpty Dumpty and Moon Girl fall in love. Captain of the big, ole shootie-chutes (old time term for roller coaster) marry them. He can do that 'cause he a captain and all. Got like a hat and everything. Moon Girl (the Old Woman when she not so old) say they gotta check. Make 'em call the mayor. He say it OK, long as somebody give him one dollah and seventy five cent. Back then they let you do mos' anythin', for one dollah and seventy five cent. That part a 'the old days' was real good.

After they married he give her the shrunken head. She keep it and love it always. When Old Mistah finally shove off (die), it start talkin' to her, which is actually very miraculous, considerin' it got its eyes, ears, malf and nose stitched shut. But real shrunken head got powers. Some make you pregnant. Head don't do nothin'. It just let you get that way. This head don't do that... but it know things and it tell things. She keep it in a bag under the bed. Ev'ry time it wanna tell somethin' it go - psst!...psst!...psst!... hey, lady!... hey, lady!.......... Which is also mostly amazin' considerin' when it alive it only know New Guinea Talk.

That night, after she almost have a heart attack from the noise the ice maker make, she jump in a bed and cover herself up real good... That when it start talkin'..... Tell her 'bout the bayou... them werewold-sharks ... 'Monkey Legs' and a whole lot a shit. 

Sometime I think that head wern't really human..... If you livin' tomorrow and 'sides a come back here, I tell you more.....

Y'all ever hear sound in the night?... What you got under your bed???
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