Saturday, August 17, 2013


At first they looked like puppets, tattered marionettes, all tangled up and forgotten. Birds ripped out the juicy parts and ants marched up the trunk to take the rest. Some wore clothes... a shirt... shoes and socks... half a brassiere... a 'face mask' jock strap. But most were naked. Hell, some barely even had any flesh.

You see strange things in the bayou.... two headed hag fish.... raccoon with human breasts... a crazy eyed little white girl with hairy legs... real hairy legs. 'Monkey Legs,' they call her. But I'm not talkin' 'bout her. This about a big, old mangrove tree all done up like Christmas Morning. Got dead folks dancin' in the branches and greasy small intestines where tinsel should be.

The woman beached her boat right under it. She came in here a lot to find plants and all.... medicinal plants. An herbalist she was. Some folk call her a 'witchy woman,' but she not that, 'cause she got a Bible and she read it every night. Know all them 'What thou shalt do...' and 'What thou shalt not do.' Once saw God settin' in her kitchen. But since He was eatin' a banana, her sister say it must a been like a genii, or an angel, or somethin'. 
Cause she don't think God would like no banana... Grapes, maybe... an apple for sure.... Maybe like a popsicle, if he was hot or somethin'. 

Woman get out her phone and start takin' pictures. She got a little flip phone from the Walmart, don't need no contract, or nothin.' Gets right up under real drippy part.  Dead lady got half an ass bit off. Stomach ripped open too. Got like a Pepsi cola bottle stickin' out a her belly. But I don't think she swallowed it. Somebody must a left it there. You know how careless people can be.

Then she see somethin'. Look like guitar picks.... like chalky, white, rough edge guitar picks. She reach up to touch one. Take a drink first from a little flask. Got Jack Daniel's in it.  Just 'cause she an old, leathery thing, don't mean some shit still make her sick. 'Sides, Jack taste good. 

Got pretty strong finger nails. Thick ones. You know how old folks do? Start diggin' at the funny, white thing. She go tap, tap, tap. It like a loose tooth, so she start a wiggle it. Take maybe thirteen wiggles, then it come out. But so do a lot a blood. Not hot blood.... cold, clammy blood. 'Cause lady what ain't got most a her ass been dead a long time. Old woman can see the face too, 'cause neck twisted all 'round. It got eyes, but they all dull and cloudy... like two, little, cheap, crumby lava-lamps what ain't got no color. And a fat centipede all shacked up in the nose. It come out to see what gone on. But the other one jus' stick its head out. That how she know they shacked up.

Some blood do get on her face. The old woman, I mean. Little bit might run in her mouth, but she don't think 'bout it and make like it not there. Clam juice it taste like. Guess that why they call it 'clammy.' But I don't think you wanna cook wit' it. 

White thing look like a toof... like a big toof... Like what some dinosaur 'sposed a have. Not a big dinosaur, but the littler 'runnin' dinosaurs. Kind what rips you open wit' it's feet. She knowed, 'cause she seen Jurassic Park. She an educated woman. So she wrap it up in a half used napkin from Popeye's and go back. Gets in her boat and shove off. Don't make no noise, 'cause she do be a little scared.

Somethin' break the water, but she don't look back. Somethin' else go 'plop' and fall in. Maybe she loosen up a dead folk when she poke 'round an' all? Or maybe what broke the water jus' grab it? 

Old woman make it back to town... run in her place an' lock the door. But when the ice machine in her 'frigerator start shakin' 'round she almost have a heart attack.

Monkey-Leg girl seen it all from the trees. an' she laugh and laugh and laugh...
(more next time)
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