Saturday, October 12, 2013

WE GONNA ACTIVATE SOME RUSSIAN VAMPIRES ON THEM REFERRER SPAMMERS THEY GOT THERE 10/12/13

Please excuse this diversion from the adventures of Romulus and the Cajun Wolf-Folk. But we suffered much at the hands of Russian spammers today and I (Billy) have been charged by some of our venerable enchanted souls with their dispersal. 

A telepathic epistle was sent to representatives of the ancient Chinese entity known as Madam Shang, for we believe she possesses a Muscovite vampire-oligarch known as Grigory Usipov and (if he still exists in the corporeal realm) he may be our best chance. I know he's a fiercely proud son of Mother Russia, but he's also still a vampire (as far as we know) and quite naturally dedicated to their cause. No other site shares true insights into the paranormal realm like we do and the night-folk value this two-way conversation. 

Attempts will be made to triangulate the location of referrer spammers. 'Adepts' such as Edith and others (Jersey Pines witchie-woman) will throw off a hoo-doo, an emanation (energy aura) able to flush out hidden parties. Those who resist will be rendered sterile or worse. 

The 'family' always gathers for The Holidays. Tomas de Macabea, also known as Jonathon ben Macabi is already in the vicinity. Disembodied spirits from New York State's Adirondacks reported his presence three nights ago. God bless the disembodied spirits, in many ways the true eyes and ears of the night. Some of them narrate this very blog.

For the uninitiated, Tomas-known-as-Jonathon is the facilitator of our group and the founder of the feast. He was, as far as we know, the first Old World vampire to enter Philadelphia. Most records indicate a crossing on The Welcome with William Penn, but we're not sure of the circumstances or if The Lord Protector completely comprehended the unusual character of his shipmate. Jonathon is frozen in the body of an eighteen year old Spaniard, a Sephardic youth from the Moorish city of Sevilla, however the family had holdings in Granada too. For those who don't know, Sephardic indicates believers in Spanish Rite Judaism, a faith he was born into just prior to The First Crusade. In fact he was on pilgrimage to study with learned clergy at a noted Hebrew Scriptorium near Narbone at the time of his translation and has been a vampire for approximately one thousand years... maybe a little less.

You'll like him. Quite vain, you know, with his long black wavy hair, clean jawed face and trim, lithe form. How he dotes on those black, leather bootkins and specially tailored  blue jeans. Quite a decent soul, actually, not counting that vampire thing. 

Sarah, his American born enamorada will most likely be here too. And she has her own charms. I'll talk about her next time. Picture a twenty eight year old Susan Sarandon. You'll see.

For now we have to vanquish the dastardly Russian spammers. And I do hope the Muscovite vampire oligarch known as Grigory Usipov will help.

FADE TO the exterior of a red brick, Society Hill town house. All the windows are dark, save for one, just under the roof, on the third floor. A small bit of light peeks through the draperies. We FOCUS ON it a moment, til it slowly disappears.

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