Thursday, January 23, 2014


Edith said she knows. Saw a picture at the supermarket in one a those magazines.  Says Jimmy Fallon wears one too. They all do, even the girls. Even the ones with 'normal' hair, 'cause 'normal ain't enough for the camera and under the lights and all. They all got weaves or cute, l'il baby toupees, or plugs. When the first sibling gets famous, the family makes the second one into a plastic surgeon or dermatologist to keep the first one in hair and jawlines. If the second one can't do it, they let him be whatever he wants, like a shoplifter or a flamenco dancer. Edith knows, 'cause she reads all the magazines. Saw pictures of Justin Bieber de-wigged and everything.

Sarah says she don't know. They can't all be baldies. Tomas says she's wrong and after like three years is still so 'mortal.' She bought this board game on line.... the Downton Abbey board game. They play it in the kitchen. Too cold to go out. True, they're not gonna get sick or frostbite, or anything. But it is still uncomfortable. Tomas likes the cold up to a point, but Sarah just got this game and she wants to play it, so they play it. He don't care. Edith makes these hot toddies he likes. Some fluids they can tolerate. The vampires I mean. Sarah likes College Inn chicken bullion. The elferinos and elferinas like them sweet, blue water filled, long plastic things you put in the freezer. you know, the homemade ice pop things? Conrad and Leo, who are never home (vampire life is still so new to them) chew all kinds a chewing gum. But they don't ever swallow it, so it don't count.

Tomas says bald guys are always asking for blood. Just a little bit. Just enough to grow some hair. His 'familiars' tell him. They get the requests and pass it on to him. Could make big money too. Edith says a vampire in Santa Barbara gets one hundred thousand dollars a clip... ten big, red, beefy drops in a vial ... that's it. She heard it on Hoda and Kathie-Lee.

The little ghost of the polio victim from the cellar comes in to watch. He wants a play to, but his psycho-kinetic powers aren't good enough. He can't always move the little thing around the board. Wants to get a job as a 'bingo ghost.' That's the ghost who makes the ping pong ball with the right number come up when they're trying to fix the game. But nobody wants a hire him, 'cause he ain't trust worthy that way. Bingo joint owners believe in ghosts. That's a fact. Go see. Look it up on Wikipedia. Sarah says she'll throw the dice for him and move his thing around if he wants, 'cause that's the only way he can do it. Edith says he's a big, dumb dope. What's he need a job as a 'bingo ghost' for anyway? One night he'll grow into his powers and zoom in and out of Toys R Us anytime he wants, grabin' video games, ninja turtles, everything. 'Cause like the energy resonates out from the source a little bit and takes whatever he holds with him. Tomas says he'll practice with him one night. Vampires got similar abilities. But he never does. 

Doctor Franklin called. Wants Tomas to turn the body of the haberdasher's assistant that Grigori Usipov livin' in now into a vampire. Gotta be Tomas. 'cause he's the oldest one in town, not counting 'Papa,' who you can't trust anyway. Figure he'll be able to 'right' all that blind and deaf crap. He'll do it. But he don't want to do it, 'cause he don't want to get involved. But he'll do it.... one of these nights. 

Actually, Tomas likes going to that compound under The Navy Yard. Likes to get into the deep sea habitat tank with the wrinkled-up, old sea-hag, mermaid women. They like him too. Who knows? It's just one a them things. 

They found a young guy frozen in the snow yesterday. Late twenties, thirty years old. That's all he could be. Might have been homeless. Boy, talk about 'no room at the inn.' Laying there. Just laid down and died, right there on the nine hundred block of Ridge Avenue. 

That's what the elferinos and elferinas are doing tonight... giving blankets and blood kisses to homeless people. The blood all by itself will keep 'em alive. Blankets just make it more comfortable. 

Wouldn't be surprised if when it gets to be two thirty, three o'clock, Tomas don't wind up going out too. Feels bad 'bout what happened to that homeless guy.

I can tell. Look at his face... You can see it...


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