Friday, September 5, 2014

Temporarily mortal Vampire, Tomas, reunites with His 'Witchy' Woman Friend, EDITH... 9/5/14

this must of necessity be a rushed post. web hook-up is still screwy. lights on xfinity modem or whatever they call it blink on and off. I've asked some of out disembodied spirit narrators to slip into the digital realm and see what they can find. But some of them were last 'in the flesh' centuries ago and think manual can openers are high tech. so we're 'broadcasting' via a secondary hook-up. Hope I don't lose it. the net access company is a doodie head. even a cop would agree. but they're sort of a monopoly around here and short of a revolution, we pay and cry and they laugh and spend.


Back to our story...


EDITH (the witchy woman) strides through the dense trees, which appear to make way for her. The RED PAINT PEOPLE self consciously melt back into the shadows. TOMAS stands there...

EDITH approaches him and caresses his face.

EDITH - How mortal you are. You smell so human...

TOMAS sighs and shudders. She hugs him. He cries. 

TOMAS - I want it back. Help me. I want it back..

She gently rocks him from side to side.

EDITH - (whispers) Come with me.

She takes his hand and leads him through the trees, which momentarily move out of the way as they pass.

CUT TO - another small clearing. EDITH'S cozy cabin occupies the central position. Sort of like what Jed Clampett had before he struck oil, but less crude, less rustic. Well placed moonbeams gild the gray, slate roof. They approach the porch. HORSEY SKEEZIX, a juvenile, rather equine faced human with bat wings and smooth, short, glossy fur (a JERSEY DEVIL) gets up from the stoop and moves out of the way. PIN HEAD MEL, his teeny headed playmate titters from the bushes. 

EDITH and TOMAS climb up onto the porch and go in.

INT. CABIN seconds later...

They sit 'cross a rough dining table. Neither says a word. Then Tomas speaks up...

TOMAS - I want 'Papa.' I want him. He's gotta do it.

EDITH - (sighs) I knew you'd say that.

TOMAS - You been 'watchin'' me?

EDITH - (nods) I ain't no 'born' witch, but I got my talents.

TOMAS - Then where's 'Papa?' Where is he?

EDITH - Can't you feel him?

TOMAS - No. Not now. Not like this. I'm a vampire, not a witch.

EDITH - Honey, you ain't even that. And I don't know where your 'Papa' is. I have no idea. 

They hear staccato farts from behind closed door.

TOMAS - What's that!?

EDITH - Don't be scared. That's my husband. That's Mister Edith. He's sleepin'... doing his digestion. That's all. 

TOMAS accepts that, but sinks back into silence.

EDITH - (reaches for his hand) He may not be there, honey. May not be anywhere. Might have 'sublimated.'... You know how them old ones 'give up the ghost.'

TOMAS contemplates what she said...

They sit there in the flickering glow of a small oil lamp... Tomas lays his head on his arms.

EDITH - (whispers) Don't be scared. I'll do somethin'...

More loud, staccato farts from beyond the door...

EDITH - (yells) Shut yourself up, you old bastid, you! You wanna poison everybody!?

Farts stop.

EDITH - (smiles) There, I did that.

Tomas doesn't respond...

And the cricket rhapsody takes over, as the low light from the oil lamp fades away.


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John L. Harmon said...

I hate smelling human.

Billy Kravitz said...

We all do... Fortunately we're evolving into something else.
Think future humans gonna smell like strawberry shortcake.