Friday, April 22, 2016


No video. No song. Just me, Jonathon ben Macabi. And I never realized how much I patterned my contemporary persona after a certain ( really rather 'elferino' in his own way) artist from Milwaukee till he left us.

'See you standing in the purple rain'--- Ever wonder what that means?  Well, I'm gonna tell you.... Old sky is blue. New sky is purple. Rain is cleansing. Thus a new clean start.... That's it.

Marianne and Celeste and Albion and Roland know that. How could they not? Elferinos and elferinas are even more Princerians than I am.... I saw him performs once. It was about twenty years ago, at the legendary Electric Factory, an old tire warehouse in the Callowhill district of Center City. I loved that place. They left some of the old tire bins along the back wall and show-goers would lay in them like coffins, or mummy cases. I stood right by the stage. You could do that there. It was a stand and dance kind of room. Tokers milled around toward the mummy cases. Dancers filled the middle. True fans, or maybe just those desperate to feel the starlight mobbed the stage. And the lights were low. 'Vampire lights,' I called them.

How the place throbbed with sound. We were as microbes on a giant ear drum and the mortals streaming out after it was over were deaf for at least three quarters of an hour. They thought it was magic. Waitresses in nearby coffee shops thought it was torture and more than a few contemplated scalding some of the giddy bastards with the bitter, over cooked, brew such places are famous for.

But I met Prince that night.... Oh, what a vampire he would have been, or rather what a vampire the character he played would have been. Yet that's as it should be. We all have our 'stage' face. And maybe the 'stage' face is who we really are, though we're scared to admit it. Freedom costs... Don't you know?

It was in a rather better class of coffee shop. Forget what I said a paragraph or two above. The Four Seasons Hotel, I think it was, just off the Parkway, at the entrance to the quarter where all the museums (or most of them) are. They had a real cultured clientele. Came into town to see the art and the history and the oddities. Shopped in the oh so tasteful museum gift shops offering everything from gruesome ersatz medieval relics to Andy Warhol playing cards and little tins of potpourri made from cremated saints.

Prince ordered a grilled Portobello mushroom sandwich ( a vegan, you know). His companion-bodyguards had bowls of tabouli and raspberry iced tea.

I tipped my imaginary hat and toasted him with my own goblet of raspberry iced tea. His tabouli-eaters eyed me suspiciously, but he gestured for me to join him.... So I did.... He glanced at my trim, leather bootkins. I glanced at his.... We spoke of many sundry things, from ceiling wax to long dead kings.

Did he know, shall we say, that I was paranormally inclined?... Come on... this is Prince we're talking about. He knew everything.

I suspect he still does.

So now you know what purple rain means.

Could I tell you more?.... Of course...

But he was a very private individual and as a being who 'lives' poised between two worlds I am still bound to respect certain things.

That's all.....

Now let me put on a fresh, stand-up collar, fine, white shirt, zip up my trim, leather bootkins and strike sparks on the concrete as I prowl the after midnight streets...

May the purple rain fall on you......

Jonathon ben Macabi ... a.k.a. Tomas de Macabea

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The Vampire Jonathon and The EXODUS.. The Animals - We've Gotta Get Out Of This Place (1965) slideshow ♫♥50 YE...

He sits in his room. He's in Passover Mode. This holiday really floors him. All the 'that which was old is new... Go forth and sin no more' stuff. He feels it. But you have to remember, he once spent the season with the great RASHI who was just a hair's breath shy of prophesy.  Only he's not listening to Mendelsohn's THE ELIJAH ORATORIO, his usual Passover fare. Tonight it's a song from Eric Burden and The Animals. Things from popular culture take on new meanings with him. Vampires are always creating and recreating themselves and everything around them. It's just how they are. Unlimited time does that.

Thoughts race through his mind. Jonathon ben Macabi makes plans. Tonight will be special. Tonight he will be a vessel, filled with the Spirit of The Lord. Tonight he will set people free, sending them on their own Exodus. Lives will change. Souls will change. Miracles will happen. Prince died today and Jonathon has been a disciple since the beginning. Where did you think his spiffy persona comes from? ... the trim, black leather bootkins... the snug (also black) jeans... the white shirts, wavy black hair and the tailored, leather jackets when it's cold?

Let's go crazy....

He rises, cracks the kinks out of his neck, turns off the music and leaves. Witchy-woman-housekeeper Edith jumps back (she always eavesdrops) and says - W-where you goin'?.... Out - he says and skips down the stairs.

The townhouse is quiet. Sarah is already out working with the arcane creatures at The Anti-Enchantment Bureau. It's birthing season for the Jersey Devils. Sometimes they go waa waa waa like tiny humans. Sometimes they nicker like little ponies. They're so cute. The newborn is a russet. He's a little honey. Everybody wants to hug him, but the mommy gets nervous. Adult Jersey Devils are basically human shaped, except for the horsey legs and hooves... only the hind horsey legs and hooves. Their bodies are covered in smooth, short, glossy coats, save for the necks and heads. Facial features are essentially people-style, but with slight equine tweaks... longer bone structure, large, velvety, pointy ears. The manes resemble really flattering mullets, or wider Mohawks that run all the way down to the small of the back before petering out. The tails are long and silky. Fine, kidskin-like bat wings growing out from just inside the shoulder blades stay small till puberty, at which time they quickly lengthen and expand to flight-capable size. The specimens at the bureau are not prisoners. They sign on for one to three month terms so that science can study them. After that, they return to the Jersey Pine Barrens and soar far above the trees, just skimming the moon.

We took time with our description because Jonathon wasn't doing anything really pertinent to our story. You know how he dresses? He picked up a small, velvet, drawstring sack filled with extremely high quality, brilliant cut diamonds, each weighing approximately four or five carats and worth roughly sixty five thousand dollars wholesale. Even though he's a vampire, these are not 'blood' diamonds, so don't even think it. He gets them from a very reputable dealer in Philadelphia's jewelry district in return for tiny vials of his blood (not enough to create a life-eater) that the jeweler uses to shave a few years off his wife. He slips it to her. She thinks she just has good genes. What a stupid dope.

So now he's out on the street. It's about 1:30AM. Clubs are still open. Bars are still open. People are still out and about. But he finds a rather isolated, cloudy acrylic, bus stop shelter and sits down. It can be like that. One block is all yeah, yeah, yeah and the other is like 'thar be ghosts here.' His shelter partner is a frazzled, tired thirty-ish year old, ancient people-pissed-up-diaper-changer at a nearby nursing home for about twelve dollars an hour plus all the shortbread cookies and bananas she can eat. They use them as snacks for the prisoners.... Jonathon knows all about the place. He's already 'culled' one of the owners. The other one's away celebrating and 'spring' skiing in the Canadian Rockies. He'll kill him later, if Edith's spell to get a grizzly to do it doesn't work. She says if she did it wrong, a few crazed otters might still finish the job, but who knows?

The diaper-changing woman glances over. He pretends to be reading a flier about some after hours place somebody gave him. She eyes him. Is she scared? Look, even if she is, what can she do? Her bus runs this way and she's so tired.

Then he takes out the velvet sack (she watches)... He opens it, takes out two stones and puts it back. He holds them in the palm of his left hand, leans toward her and in a low voice says --- One hundred and thirty thousand dollars for the two of them..... She goes - Oh, yeah. That's wonderful. And you're gonna let me have them for what, like a hundred dollars?..... The vampire goes --- No, I'm going to let you have them for free..... Then he moves his hand so the feeble light from a nearby streetlamp makes them sparkle.... The woman asks - They real?... He nods..... And you're gonna let me have them for free, just like that?... He nods some more.... Why? - she asks.... You know The Blues Brothers? --- he says..... She goes - Yeahhh? They dressed like Hasidic diamond merchants. Does that have something to do with this?.... The vampire says (a bit impatiently)  -- No, it does not. I'm on a mission from God. OK?.... She sighs and rolls her eyes. This is taking longer than he thought and Jonathon has a lot of diamonds to give away so he goes -- How about if I carefully put them down on this bench, along with a piece of paper containing the address of a diamond dealer who will buy them back at the stipulated price? Then I'll get up and walk away. It's up to you. Look, I'm getting up. I'm going...... You don't have to go -- she says..... Yes, I do --- goes the vampire. I need a cold iced tea. Now, goodbye, goodbye. Do what you want. I hope it changes your life..... And he leaves.... But he watches from the shadows.

Four minutes later, after her bus comes and she's gone, he glides back.

The stones weren't there....

He gave out four pairs of diamonds that night, worth five hundred and twenty thousand dollars.... Thankfully the other three deserving individuals were more receptive.

Afterwards, he bought himself two nice pairs of slim fit, designer jeans (black naturally) in an all-night-discount-designer-wear store and some coloring books for Little Bastid Annie (you'll learn about her next time). Not in the same store. He got them in the CVS.

Then he went home, watched Steve Harvey and joined Sarah in their specially fitted out bedroom-sleeping chamber.

He asked her about the Jersey Devils, but she was already snoring... not disgusting snoring... quiet, lady-vampire snoring, so he turned over and went to sleep.

Sure, vampires have dramatic, sensual, TV soap worthy nights sometimes...

But not every night. Look, what do you want?

This is real life....

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Then he went home