Monday, October 3, 2016


I just dropped this laptop. Jonathon came running in here like a maniac and threw up in the toilet. Not the toilet upstairs... the one in the nice, little powder room off the front foyer.. It's got classic, Chinese grass paper wall paper and everything. He didn't go back to the British Consulate where all the other paranormal types are staying. Just tore through the city and came back here. Ran for three miles.

Edith (their Jersey Pine Barrens 'Witchy Woman' housekeeper) runs out from the family room yelling - What's the matter!? What's the matter!?... I tell her I don't know, but he's retching. He's in there with his head over the toilet throwing up dark, brown-purple sludge (who knows how long THAT'S been in his stomach?) all over the 'no touch' designer commode and the inlaid, quartz tile floor... Edith mumbles - God, I hope that doesn't stain..... She peeks into the powder room. He's sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, gasping for breath and vampires don't really NEED oxygen, so you know he's really upset.... Edith goes - Jonathon, are you all right?..... He goes - Leave me alone. Just leave me alone. Close the door. I just want to sit here. OK? Close the door.... She goes - You want me to get you a cold vodka?.... He yells - CLOSE THE DOOR! (micro second later) Yes! Get me the vodka....

She hustles into the kitchen..... I stand there. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to move. He goes - Bill, are you still out there?.... I go - Yeah?.... He goes - I'm sorry if I scared you. I didn't mean it. I didn't..... He still fights to catch his breath..... I go - That's alright... He doesn't answer. Edith comes back with a big, ice-filled glass of vodka. I think it's Finlandia. They have all kinds. Somebody from a huge liquor supermarket over the bridge in Jersey sends them.... Edith sticks her arm through the opening and hands him the glass. She goes - Here. Drink it.... Then she watches. She makes a face. Let me tell you. Vampire vomit has a real memorable aroma. I can't see in, but I hear. He goes glug, glug, glug. She takes the glass. Then he starts to cry.

A little bit later, after he takes a shower and changes, we're all sitting in the den. Sarah's not back yet. Must be like 4AM. Still at least two hours till dawn... maybe two and a half. The room's dim. It's always dim around here. They don't like a lot of light. Nobody talks. I sit there with the laptop waiting to take it all down. After five years, I'm like a symbiotic organism with that laptop...Not the same one I started with, though..... Edith plays a quiet game of Solitaire. Jonathon looks at the little, blue, porcelain, Chinese dog like he's hypnotized by it. The tall clock in the hall chimes. Goes through the whole Westminster lead up before tolling the hour. That clock's a ham.

It's silent. Vampires don't mind silence either. That, I know. Then he began to speak. Edith jumped a little, because she was paying attention to her game, but I was watching him, so I didn't jump.

He goes - I didn't want to watch him feed. You know how I am. I'm not like that. But he insisted. He's a big thing with the 'Golden Dawn' people, so I got out of the car and went after him. He didn't walk like a vampire. Seemed too hurried, like he couldn't wait. Vampires, especially 'noble' ones, have more control. We don't do that. Then he got down on all fours and went right into the bushes. these are big 'yew' bushes. Some people let them grow tall and trim them like trees, but these were dense and close to the ground. Kids went in there to trade drugs, do drugs and hump each other. And it was so dark... damp too. Most of the kids were gone by then, but a few runaways slept there all night. He found a couple. They were sleeping. He carefully lifts the girl, blanket and all. Puts her down on a flat patch of dirt a little way off. She's still sleeping. He strokes her hair... whispers something in Old Latin, kneels in closer, pushes down the blankets and bites right into her throat. I can hear the trachea crack. That's so she can't scream. Then he flips her over and tears into neck, snapping her spinal chord. Was she paralyzed? Was she dead? Who knows. I hope so. For he began to rip the flesh from her bones like an animal. Gristle snaps like rubber. He chomped it down with delight. Blood ran from his chin. The dirt drank it up like wine. I don't know how many pounds of meat he took. The face was bare.. the shoulders... the arms.. the breasts... all bones. Then he chuckled, as he tenderly placed the gruesome remains where he found them, next to the 'boyfriend.' Imagine when he woke up.

Now I knew no vampire ever fed like that, even 'noxious' types. The former Roman emperor and one time honorable man was something else. He was more like a ghoul, or what they call a 'non-decomposing zombie.' But his vanity wouldn't accept that, so he was a 'vampire.' With his wealth and connections, who would say otherwise? The night-world is like that... filled with posers. Truth means nothing. Any remnant of mortal humanity they might have means nothing. Not everyone, but far too many. Thank God I am of the 'noble' sort. And those around me are 'noble' too.

Then he was done... Edith and I never said a word. We never learned what happened to the mortal limousine driver. Can you imagine when that blood soaked thing got back in the car? My guess is the 'emperor' needed him to get back to the consulate. He can't sublimate like vampires can, although he does know a fair amount of magic. Perhaps he can make himself invisible?

Jonathon just sat there till Sarah came home. Then she led him up to their sealed off sleeping chamber and that was it.

The coalition meeting at the consulate expected Jonathon to come back. How many of them knew the emperor's secret he didn't know... but the real question was how many cared?

Meanwhile, Franklin's new vampires were starting to go off on their missions. The comely Korean girl vampirina was ready to pounce...

<more next time>


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