Thursday, February 23, 2017

VAMPIRE PLANS HOW TO SCHOOL A D.C. BAD GUY - 2/23/17

There's no music tonight. Just me, Jonathon, thinking about what I'll do when I get there. How will I 'school' this individual? Bad politicians are far from rare. Some are just clueless and unprepared for the task. Others are very willing snake oil salesmen. Too many are unrepentant haters. Do your homework, if you want this job, remember this... for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That's not an opinion. It's just the way our universe is.

So I passed through the air on my way to that city... that white marble re-imagining of classical Rome. Re-imagined? Maybe they didn't think it all the way through? I watched tiny pinpoints of light... planes from God knows where, coming in for landings at Reagan International Airport. What magic would my mortal family, all those centuries ago, ascribe to such things?

But then I came in for a landing too.... Washington, D.C.. All these years... more than three hundred of them in this land and I had never been there.

Please think not that I disparage anyone's choice. And please remember the first Vampire Wonderland episode ever to appear here almost six and a half years ago. I began with these words --- First of all, we must agree that what comes next is fiction. A lot of truth passes for fiction. A lot of fiction is accepted as the truth. It's all mixed up. Everything is everywhere. But let me ask you this? What choices do you make... and most importantly, why?

Now let me share my plans. When next the dark time comes again, I will sublimate into the new, local home of a certain trusted advisor... a power behind the throne, known for consorting with those who most would term 'polite haters.' This means not that your little ones are secure, should they belong to a threatened group. Consider this when you push them down the street in their safe and padded stroller some mild, fresh spring day. Not all who smile back at them sincerely wish them well. I intend to do something about that.

I will raise that unrepentant vessel for hate from his bed. I will grasp him under his arms and around his chest and sublimate us both up through the roof and toward the heavens. But lest we pierce the crystalline shell, I will bear him off across the city. Should he scream or struggle, I simply threaten to let go. He won't struggle. He won't scream. Then I softly place him down upon the sidewalk in a quarter not his own... No phone... No money or cards or identification. Just a nightshirt. That's all he wears. Then, in an instant, before I leave, I rip  the flimsy garment from his corpulent, flabby body, deliver a sharp slap and tell him to run... Imagine him huffing and puffing and padding through the streets. For a few moments I hover above in the darkness. Then I scream, as only a vampire can. I scream again and again and again, till lights go on, doors open and people come out. Some recognize the crazed, naked white man crouching behind a car. Dogs break from owners and give chase... Pit bulls, dogs like that. You know what I mean. Young kids with phones rush out and snap pictures. Instantly Mister So & So is all over the World Wide Web. Audio and video couldn't be better. He shrieks and races off. The dogs were getting too close. No one calls the police. Not yet. This is still too good. Not like he's gonna freeze. Spring is early this year. Just one more rodent on the street...

The press, if they knew who I was, would sponsor a holiday in my name... Not just the press... (lol)

No sign of a break-in. Nothing irregular. Mister So & So just took a little walk... Just wanted some air... real casual like.

Well, that's my plan... and so far, I'm stickin' to it.

<more next time>

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