LMAO with wendy (liebman)!: MY NOSE

LMAO with wendy (liebman)!: MY NOSE: Every three months for about a year I have felt this tingling at the tip of my nose. It lasts for about two days each time and then stops. ... Sometimes we all get little health scares. Maybe it's time to act...

Annie Tells More. Others Do Too..THE VAMPIRE REVELS 1/30/13

It's still me. It's Annie. And I'm still lookin' around this place with Larry. He's that other vampirino-kid dressed like a gay pilgrim, or something. I know. I know. I know. He's Little Lord Fauntleroy. Does that mean Little God Fauntleroy? 'Cause I don't think God would dress his kid like this. But Larry was OK, so I didn't talk about his outfit, or nothin',

I asked him if he was down in the dungeons with the rest of 'em when they killed the cattle-people. He said he was. I asked him what it tasted like. He knows I only been a vampirina for like two years, so he talked about mortal people's food. He said - You ever eat chopped steak, or chopped sirloin, or whatever it is?..... I said - Yeah, I remember that. We got it at a diner a couple times with onions and gravy. Sometimes the guy didn't cook it too good and the inside was all pink and fleshy. ..... Larry said the cattle-people were like that, 'cause they were so scared and sweaty. Real hot too. .... I said - Oh..... You know, I killed plenty a people. They tasted salty too. Once a big fat guy, I think he was diabetic, fell on the cement and started shakin'. He was eatin' a big Hersey bar. Sarah was bringin' me home from Gap Kids. They were open real late 'cause a Christmas and all. Guy was twitchin' and everything. I was hungry. Sarah knew I wanted to eat. And he must a been a real bastid, 'cause she said 'yeah.' So we rolled him in an alley and I did....Now, what did I want to tell you?.... Oh, yeah. He had a real sweet taste mixed with the salt taste, like a chocolate covered pretzel. He was good. That fat guy was real good. But he was still a bastid. Sarah said he was a numbers writer. Not just a plain one. Not just like an assistant numbers writer. He was a boss. He had like a zillion regular numbers writers workin' for him and sometimes he would get like a helper to punch some scared, old man right in his stomach, or even like in his doo-dads. And I know you can't do that to a kid, even a vampirino kid. So I can imagine what it's like if you do it to somebody's pop-pop.

Larry and I watched this lady. She was dressed like an old fashioned clown, with a big, crazy dress, all poofy, with decorations and a big clown thing around her neck. Her face had all this white paint on it, like a clown, with red lips. Just lookin' at her made me sick. If I had a whole lot a blood in my stomach, I'd a throwed up. Baylah came by with a big monkey sittin' on her back. Not her lady-back, her horse-back. I think it might a been a vampire monkey. You know, some night-folk think it's funny to do that to monkeys and gorillas and all. But we said 'hi' to it and it waved, so It was OK. I asked Baylah what kind of clown the lady was. She laughed and told us the lady wasn't no clown. She was supposed to be a queen. She was supposed to be Queen Elizabeth. N ow I seen a lady called Queen Elizabeth on TV once, but she didn't look like no clown. She looked like somebody's real old mom-mom. So I was all confused. 

One a the 'au natural' weird, naked people with their tongues ripped out offered me some kind a drink in a little, skinny glass what got a real thick bottom. It was one a them whiskey drinks. Tomas and Sarah couldn't see. They were far away talkin' to a guy from some foreign place. I don't know. He was just a regular mortal. I know, 'cause earlier, when I went passed him, he smelled like salami. So I took the drink. Larry took two of 'em. You know, vampires can drink whiskey drinks. Some vampires can drink a lot a whiskey drinks. It tasted like old wood with little knives in it. Larry laughed. I laughed too. Then we went to play with the big dog what got a face like people. I pulled its tail. But the dog with a people face didn't like it, 'cause he turned around and told me to go to hell.

See, if this was really a wedding, like a regular people wedding, this is where the mom would take the little girl (me) and rock her on her lap so she could rest a little. Some other lady, like an aunt, or a grown-up cousin would come over and brush a sweaty piece a my hair back. She'd smile at me and tell the mom one how adorable I am. 

But this ain't no real wedding and nobody did that.

Sarah's nice to me. Tomas is too. They yell sometimes, 'cause I can be a real, little bitch. Not so much anymore. But I used to bite a lot a toes off. I still think they love me... I guess... But nobody came over to rock me, or see where I was.

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please nominate me for a SHORTY AWARD..... Just tweet this ~~~> I nominate #BLOGGER @wilkravitz for a SHORTY AWARD based on his many narratives and stories......Thank you.... and as always, your COMMENTS are very much appreciated.