AN AUDIENCE WITH THE KING

Sarah and Jonathon held hands, as they ascended the wide, granite stairs. Huge, fatty torches mounted in crude iron holders bled scattered puddles of yellow light. An infinity of stone galleries pushed out from the walls. Exotic creatures leaned over to watch them. Were they human? Had they been human? After a fashion, I suppose. They had the usual compliment of centaurs  and centaurinas, satyrs and hypatias (the usually white coated, female variety). There were insect-winged pixies, elves, cherubs and some other gargoyle-like beings who I'm told descend from ancient Sumerian dieties. Some  of the notables assembled wore fine, glittery costumes. Others could not be bothered with such frivolities and made due with nothing at all.

As they approached the summit, as they neared the royal platform, the King and his throne expanded and grew in size, until they were as tiny mouseykins standing by his feet. The Monarch reched down and scooped them up. Our vampires wrapped themselves around the thick, strong fingers and held on tight, in fear that they might fall, or worse, that he might shake them off. But he brought the wide-eyed specimens up to his well-formed face, the better to examine them. In a low whisper he said - Remove all fabricated membranes....And they did, taking special care not to slide off.. Then he ordered them to raise their arms and twirl around a bit, so that he might definitively identify therir species and gender. After a few heartbeats he playfully poked them with the index finger of his free hand and said - Ah, yes, altered humans, just as I anticipated. Here, Lady Maud, see what you think.......An equally enlarged woman stepped round from behind his throne. She had fine, porcelain skin, a delicate face and slim, poetic arms. The King carefully transfered each 'altered-human' into Lady Maud's soft, dry hands. Now to be truthful, certain of her features were a bit strange, especially when you take into consideration the fact that they were Statue of Liberty sized. Her eyes bulged out, encompassing the whole upper half of her face, for they were bugs eyes and possessed of a terrible, repulsive beauty. Sarah almost fainted. But that only made the deformed giantess laugh. And the assorted monstrosities in the galleries (both handsome and not so handsome) joined in........Then the King said - Go ahead, taste one.......So she shrugged her shoulders, cocked her head to the side, pinched Jonathon between her thumb and index finger and popped him right into her mouth. If still completely human and not mercifully 'altered,' he would have dropped dead right then and there. Believe me. He wanted to. But he did not. So he stayed awake and aware, as she rolled him round on her tongue, the better to savor his flavor. My, my, my, what big teeth she had. And the back sides (the part that did not show) were liberally caked with rough, stinking tartar. Jonathon expected to be gulped down into an acidy pit at any moment. Yet that did not happen. For she daintily spit him out into a polished golden bowl and pronounced him a 'superior quality morsel.' ......Then the King lifted Sarah to his wide, grinning mouth. She froze in fear. But he did not pop her in. Instead he carefully extended his flexed tongue and lightly brushed the tip of it up against her exposed body, after which he pronounced her to be a 'superior quality morsel' as well. She joined Jonathon in that golden bowl, as the multitude of beings in the galleries broke into thunderous applause.

And then, in a thin, microscopic sliver of time, it was over. Our twosome now found themselves in another place, a sunkist place fresh with the scent of the sea. For they were in the expansive, marble entry hall of the ghost of The Great Library of Alexandria. Structures also can have spirits too, you know. An old man with a short, white beard,  stepped out of the ether to welcome them. The first 'day' of school was about to begin...

IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING

Sometimes reality can waiver. Things can vary. And the fabric of creation may have nubbins in the weave. That's how it was for our two vampires. The bright eyed rabbits were the first to change. Sarah saw it and she nudged her mate. She pointed. He saw too. The rabbit had tiny, human hands. It sat at the side of the well worn trail and it waved to them. Jonathon automatically waved back. Sarah just nodded. The guide, this time a gnarled, old man, cackled like a dried up brujo (wizard/warlock). But no one stopped, as wind-blown tendrils of shredded clouds tickled a cheesy moon. And the crickets chirping in the brush all sang the same sad tune. An airplane hummed its way across the ridgeline in the distance. Though that's not what it was. Those closer saw a noble mount, a dragon fly writ large, upon which sat an elf-eared vampirina hurrying off on some enchanted business. Jonathon said - Where are we? What has happened to the trail?......Why nothing - croaked the crepe-skinned man - The trail is quite the same. T'is merely your weak grasp on things, which lately has grown lame.......And then he began to skip and caper about like a sylvan faun. After a breath or two, that's what he was. One blink and he is gone. Now let me (Johannan) take a moment here to explain what is at hand. And how these changes in the pitch effect the nearby land. Everything we see and touch is made of tiny points. Yet where each rubs against the next depends how God annoints each tiny orb with Heaven's light ('lectricity to you) for each, small variation paints  the universe anew............And for those self-limiting nabobs with an aversion to poetry, let me say this...Hey, you saw The Matrix didn't you? Well, it's a little bit like that. The universe repeats, except the notes of music dance their own  tune on the sheets. So that's it. Why? Because the Mountain King asked his friend, Saint Michael the Archangel. And that stalwart celestial general made petition to the Saphire Throne . The request was granted.  The Mountain King relaxed, safe in a crag upon the heights with secrets all its own.  You won't find it. Go and try forever and a day. Unless you get an invite and the King calls you that way.....And what happened then?....A huge dense cloud of night flies settled on our blood-kissed two, each nipping off some flesh or bone until their 'form' was through. Then off they flew, upon the wind . And streamed in through a crack. Each spitting out a drop of  gore until our vamps were back....Their legs were weak. Their hearts beat fast. Their tongues no longer spoke.The Mountain King just roared and laughed. He loved this sickening joke. He thanked the flies, his 'Scotties,' for the 'beaming up' they did. Then sent them crowding through a hole into the place they hid.....Who comes here!? - growled the 'diety' upon his rough hewn seat, as Jonathon stepped forward on his still quite shaky feet. While other members of the court leaned forward and looked down.  His Sarah wished she'd brought from home some 'dressy' type of gown........That's it. They're here. It all starts now. The mysteries they'll know. But come back again tomorrow night (Johannan wants it so). For I have other dreams to dream. And other brows to kiss. While some of you, I am quite sure, must need to take a piss.............