Sunday, June 10, 2012

A LITTLE GIRL VAMPIRE AND A MONK VAMPIRE MAKE A NIGHT OF IT

Annie and her new protege, Conrad, walked around on the Avenue of The Arts looking at people. They saw well dressed posturing couples 'making entrances' into venues up and down the street. 


That one takes 'Beano' - said Annie. I can smell it. Prob'ly don't wanna fart durin' the show. And the wife is wearin' a diaper. But not because she shits herself. No, all she does is pees........ How do you know all that? - said Conrad........ I told you. I can smell it - she said. you can too. You're just not used to it yet........ Then, she discreetly gestured with her chin, as she rattled off - Ate a garlic rib steak. Drank a lot a whiskey. Curry. Curry. That one's got a period. This one got a cancer. Fast food. Fast food. Really likes her wine........... Former monk, Conrad, was amazed....... I really am getting hungry - he said. Who do you think  I should 'do'?........... I dunno. Wait a little. It's more fun later, when there ain't so many people. We can scare 'em better then. Take me to the movies first. Papa hardly ever does and they don't like selling no night time ticket to  no little girl. Ain't there no toy store around here? I want a cap gun. NO, a bee-bee gun! I want a real gun, but they won't let me. Edith says (mimicking) It ain't nice. Jonathon, or Tomas, or whoever the hell he is says it's a sin. He's always prayin'. Hates when I curse too. They all do, 'specially when I say the king of the words............. What's 'the king of the words'? - said Conrad........... You know. 'F' this. 'F' that. 'F'in' son of a bitch. You know, the 'F' word - said Annie.......... So, why don't you say it? - said Conrad......... 'Cause you used to be a monk. And that's like a nun what ain't no lady. And I don't wanna make you cry, or throw up - explained the strange, little girl.......... Conrad said he wouldn't throw up (seeing as his stomach was so empty), but she didn't believe him. Even little juvenile vampirinas are intrigued by throw-up.


Four hundred heartbeats later they saw a place showing SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN. The former monk bought two tickets (one adult, one child) and they went in. But the fat, ugly bitch in the ticket both gave 'em a dirty look...... That ain't no movie for a little girl, you know. - she said........  Annie quietly told her to drop dead and go to hell, as they entered the lobby, but the 'fuck-face, sloppy bastid' (Annie's words) heard the whole thing.


You wanna kill her? - said Annie....... I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Why, do you think I should? - whispered the novice.......... 


Yeah, - said Annie. I think maybe you should. 


Then they went all the way down to the third row (away from everyone else) and settled in to watch the movie.....


Annie liked the whole thing. But her 'friend' couldn't wait for it to be over...


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