WEIRD SPECIMENS WHISPERING IN THE NIGHT

I spent the next day walking up and down Germantown Avenue. No more gray, cold rain. A beautiful fall day. Had some coffee, which was actually more like a hot, sweet milk shake. Bought a couple magazines. Sat in this nice litttle, cozy library they have and relaxed. My eye did itch a little, but not much. The trees are finally beginning to blush. Some go red. Some go orange. Some yellow. Some  brown. I like the way the dead ones curl up and crunch under my feet. They love being turned into mulch.

Papa felt sorry for me. Jonathon did too. But it was Sarah who slipped me the twenties. Bought some sneakers. Just a pair of retro Pumas. Don't have to be fancy. Worked on my screenplay while I was in the library. I do that sometimes. Not on the lap-top. I left that at home. Wrote down lots of ideas and a few scenes in a black and white, wide ruled, grade school composition book. Not technologically correct, but it's what I do. You want to know what the screenplay's about? It's about all this. It's about life. I change it all around. Jonathon is a Scot. Sarah's still the same. Baylah don't look like Beyonce in this one. We still got elves and cherubs, only they don't live with us. Papa never showed up. Only we got this cool guy, The Kahn. Ever see Keanu Reeves in that Buddah movie? Well, then you know what I mean.

They're having a meeting  tonight. All the vampires are getting together at the Mutter Museum. Now THAT is one interesting place. Close your eyes and picture an old tick-tock, wood floored, dim and shuttered mid-Victorian curiosity collection. Dust where there should be dust. Long, ebony framed, glass display cases. And some of the weirdest, most sickening specimens you've ever seen. If you want to visit, don't go before lunch. Go after. Look, I'm sure I told you about this place before, but we get a lot of first time readers around here, so we got to do a lot of back-tracking. You want to know which prized exhibit I like best? The 'two-headed, pickled, white baby.' No, really, they got a whole mess of them, each one labeled according to 'race.' But the white ones look like Ray Bradbury made them. One's got a big, sick, twisted ear-to-ear smile. And his connected at the hip brother's got two of his fingers jammed up his ass. Just a pair of bleached out, skinny, little bad boys, bobbing around in a big jar of pickle juice. What a way to spend the first part of eternity.

The night watchman is a friend of theirs. Not actually a familiar. They feel sorry for him. It's not that he's a half-wit. That would not be right. He's more like a quarter wit, but he does try hard. Got a prize winning Pez collection and everything. They give him money and chicken nuggets and all. He lets them duck inside for a pitstop on cold dark nights. It's where they go to talk. They could talk at home, but there's something about the atmosphere. Humans are rarely invited. I'm going because I was almost half blinded. But you know that from last night. The elves and cherubs don't take part in this stuff. Maybe Annie will. I don't know.

I showed that thin, little needle-like shard of glass to Jonathon. He held it up to the light bulb and looked at it real hard. Papa looked at it too. They made a lot of faces, but they didn't say nothing. Then Edith held out her hand. She wanted to see, so they gave it to her. Started sucking in a lot of air, but that's all she did. I asked them what they saw. I wanted to know what they thought. But Papa just told me to go to sleep.

Usually, I try to be all snug in bed by the time they come in. I don't know why. It just feels better that way. Maybe I don't want to see them after they've killed somebody. Yeah, they don't do it every night. But who knows. Only having a crystaline dart fly into your eye makes you see things. Sounds funny, but that's what it does. I've been around them more than a year. You think I know a lot? Bullshit. I don't know crap. Maybe tonight I'll get a few lessons.......

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THANK GOD FOR VAMPIRE CHILDREN

I'm still a little nervous about it. Well, maybe more than a little. Not in a million years did I ever think they'd come after me. I don't have any powers. I can't to anything major. I just organize this blog for them...... But something did come for me....And I don't know why. Maybe I was just a sign or a signal of what could happen. You know, like when the Nazis (when they were first getting noticed) would rip open the belly of a little dog as a preview to what the owner and his kids could expect next.

There's a small balcony opening off one of the upstairs bedrooms. Nobody uses it. Edith still sees that it's clean and dusted and all. A cozy space, actually. I'll go out there sometimes. Could be day. Could be night. I'll sit on one of the old painted, metal chairs (there's two of them) and look at the clouds, or maybe the stars. It's miserable here today, rainy, slushy snow, a bone chilling damp. A sad, little leak weeps its way through the roof and bounces into a rubber pail  out in the hallway. Luck one of the Red Paint guys saw it. We like this place. Hate to have anything happen to the hardwood floors, or to that nice, wool runner even.

Guess we'll need a roofer. The Red Paints aren't too sure of themselves when it commes to that. Any other 'family' would just call somebody. But we have to be careful. All the vampires (and that means Annie and the elves and cherubs too) have to sleep down in the sub-basement. No passing the day upstairs. I don't know. Edith thinks they have a 'familiar' for things like that. But she can't remember.

Sarah and Jonathon were already out when it happened. He's off his praying jag, at least for now. Still, I don't think he's going to kill anyone tonight. Probably just walk around the dark, wet streets. They enjoy that. The vampires, I mean. We got these really good, British made umbrellas. They take one of the big ones, huddle under it and go. No trim, little leather bootkins tonight. This is hiking boot weather. He's got these well made, oiled ones. Sarah's got these black, shiny rubber boots. Look like riding boots, only their rubber. They look so poetic with their scarves and all....like some big city couple in a movie you's see at Sundance.

I was out on the balcony and looked up to watch a plane. It's like a reflex with me. I always watch planes. It was dark. It was drizzling. Couldn't even see the plane, just hear it. Rain started getting in my eyes. But I had this water-proof hoodie thing on. AndI like weather like that. Sit out in the rain all the time. Why? If you wipe the water off the chair and put down a plastic trash bag it's all right. That's what I do. That's what I did.

But one of those silvery, little spears of liquid falling through the void wasn't water. It was glass. Pierced a hole right through my cornea (right through a lot of stuff actually) and into that aloe-vera like gel we got in the middle. The taller Red Paint guy heard me screaming and yelling. He ran out and carried me in. Those Paint People are strong, old dudes. I was kickin my legs and thrashing around trying to pull it out. He sat on me so I'd be still. Then he hollered for his brother to get one of the cherubs ( a couple of them were watching a DVD of  Dumbo in the family room). The old guy comes racing in, carrying one of the chubby, little dumplings. It sees what happened, squirms up out of his arms and flies over. Then it hovers over my face (I could not see. They told me after.) scrapes the inside of its cheek with its tiny, rough-tipped tongue and lets a drop or two of  magic-baby-vampire blood plop right in my eye. How could anybody want to kill the cherubs? I could hear it gurgling in sympathy. And one heartbeat later the pain was all gone. Red Paint guy comes over, leans in and carefully pulls the crystaline needle right out. Cherub gives me another bloody eye-kiss for good measure, backs away and smiles. You know how cute chubby babies look when they smile, especially all wrapped up snug in one of those soft, knit outfits Edith keeps them in. I could see that. He was wearing a green one, with matching booties. I smiles back. We both started laughing.

Got to start paying more attention to the cherubs. Edith and the elves look after them all right. But I want to start paying attention to them too. I did go back down to the family room with him. I did watch the rest of Dumbo with them. We laughed when they made him up like a clown. We clapped when he flew. (the cherubs wish everybody could fly) We cried when his mama got locked up in circus jail. It was nice. Then we played with this little, plastic whack-a-mole game they have. Gave them each a few whiffs of their favorite aroma candle (chocolate) and tucked them in. Not for the day. This is just like a nap time. I like to watch them doze off. Winkin, Blinkin and Nod...plus a fourth one too. Sleep well, little pudgies.

Now I'm sitting in the kitchen tapping this out. Didn't think I'd be able to, but I guess spending time with the little ones calmed me down. Still, I do jump everytime the heater makes a noise, or when Edith shuffles her cards. Saved the glass shard. I want to show it to Jonathon. I want to see what he thinks............

Please escuse any typing or spelling errors. Even though I am OK, deep inside I'm still a little shaken up.

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