Friday, July 3, 2015

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: Post 2 NaNoWriMo for November 2012

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: Post 2 NaNoWriMo for November 2012: Post 2 Now walk-in bingo parlors are a fixture in certain areas, usually cropping up along low level strip malls or struggling old busine...If you read part one of my BINGO BOY story arc yesterday, here;s part two.. Marty's story. How that bastid got into the bingo business... And, yes, this post is based on truth too... Please click on that NaNoWriMo phrase up above and come in...

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: TOMAS PLAYS 'BIG BROTHER'... 3/17/13

Billy Kravitz' vampire wonderland: TOMAS PLAYS 'BIG BROTHER'... 3/17/13: Edith was crying. Tomas found her like that. The sun had just about set and he was getting ready for the evening. He can take 'the gloa...This is what happens when vampires right wrongs... You ever been wronged?... Read this... It's cathartic ... Click on TOMAS PLAYS BIG BROTHER up above and see the whole thing.... Regular post comes later... Vampires don't like hurtful, disrespectful, meanies...

Monday, June 29, 2015

Sweeney Todd - Not While I'm Around...The Elferino, ALBION SPEAKS .. 6/29/15





I am Albion. Attentive readers may know my name. I fly through the tale from time to time. I am one of the elferinos and elferinas and a vampire of sorts, but only of sorts.... A Peter Pan by moonlight. I'm sure you know Marianne. Many wealthy people here abouts payed ten thousand dollars to hear her story. She told it in a house just down that cobbled lane over there. You can still hear the echo. Well, night-folk can, I mean. Echos never fade for us. They get tiny and quiet and brittle, but they're always there. I hear Abraham Lincoln addressing the crowd 'round The Pennsylvania State House. You may know it as Independence Hall. I hear old char women scream as the notorious ghoul, Johnny Jump Up, drags them to the roof tops for a midnight feast.


The world's a hard place. I can tell you that. They sealed me in an leaden box. I was a captured little elferino... a vampire boy, snatched up in a net wrought from fine, lead filaments. Night-folk cannot sublimate through lead. I don't know why. We just can't. I felt them seal it shut. I could feel the heat... the molten lead. You see, the box was like a cube and I was all curled up hugging my knees. Movement was impossible. I had burns on my arms, the sides of my shoulders and my scalp. They tore off my clothes and forced me in. This was in Normandy, but that's not important. Well, it sort of is. Most New World elferinos and elferinos come from Northern France or the Low Countries (Belgium and The Netherlands)... Witch hunts and all... They were big then. We didn't burn, though. They didn't want to foul the land with our ashes. They got another boy when they grabbed me. He'd just been turned the night before. I don't know what happened to him. Most were taken out in boats and thrown into the sea. The lucky ones washed up here, or in Cuba, or Haiti, or someplace like that. Currents helped. The whales helped. We know them as 'Princes of The Sea.' Princesses too, I guess. Enchanted folk, I mean. The whales would nudge us along... around rocks, or impediments. I was under the waves almost thirty years.


Seventeen twenty four... that's when I washed up. Philadelphia was already there. It just wasn't Philadelphia yet. Swedish people lived around here... maybe some Dutch too. How do you think the Schuylkill River (Center City's 2nd waterway) got its name? Some soldiers rescued me. They broke the box. I didn't cry, or anything. I was numb... frozen... locked in position. But my mind was a thousand leagues away. Night-folk can do that. We go into dream-like stupors. I was home in Normandy. God knows what they thought when I fell out. No treasure. Just me. 

I bit one right away for the blood. The other ran into the woods. Elferinos rarely kill... almost never. He was a big musketeer. Too much blood for me. He lived. A smaller man, or a woman might have died.

Listen to me, going on so about myself. Do you have anywhere to go? Your face will bruise, you know. I can 'do something' to that guy if you like. You're not scared of me are you? My eyes shine... the pointy ears. That gets people sometimes... mortal people, I mean. Don't cry. I won't hurt you. And you'll be safe with us. (He puts his arm across her back... They just sit there, on the white, marble steps of a Philadelphia row house. The woman inside is dead, but Albion didn't do it. She just died. He sensed that and came to comfort her spirit. But then he found the girl. He helps her up. They walk off. The ghost of the dead woman peeks through the drapes and watches as they go.)

Elferinos and elferinas are basically good souls and often defend the helpless. Are they 'vampires?'... Yes, but 'magic' is a funny thing...

Well, not 'funny' but strange.

If a word or term used here confuses you, please 'comment' a question, or click TWITTER and ask Billy there. Click HERE to wander through all episodes of Vampire Wonderland. Some parts are barely even paranormal.

Thanks for your support.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Elle King - Ex's & Oh's .. While Jonathon's Away, Vampirina SARAH Scores a Few X's & O's .. 6/28/15T





This is Sarah. You know me as Jonathon's consort. But what you don't know is I also 'consort' with others when he's out of town. I like the city during the summertime. Perhaps because 'humanity' is not so distant from me. And I speak of my humanity. Five years ago, I still ate salads and drank diet soda and bought Clearasil. Twenty somethings break out too, you know. I used Tampax and Secret roll on deodorant. I carried Tic Tacs and bought knock-off designer bags from a place off Bainbridge. And now I'm a vampirina... No more Clearasil and Tampax and the bags aren't copies anymore. I drink eighteen dollar chilled vodkas. And every time I walk into a certain Old City dance club the D.J. plays DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS. My mortal bed-boys, Luther and Timothy go with me. Flotsam and Jetsam, I call them. Such evil toys they are. But I keep them in check. See those thick, black watch things they wear? They're house arrest bracelets. You don't have to wear them around your ankle. That way I know where they are. That way they stay out of trouble.



Philadelphia is clogged with tourists. They stand where George Washington stood and Chubby Checkers stood and Bobby Rydell stood and Grace Kelly stood. They take selfies with all the ersatz Ben Franklins (and sometimes the scientifically preserved real one). Ben Franklin is our Mickey Mouse. They go see the townhouse mansion (now a museum) where house guest Bram Stoker wrote Dracula, some say based on stories Jonathon told him about a certain noxious vampire from Austria-Hungary he knew.



I like to talk to them... the tourists, I mean. I chat up conventioneers in bars. I kiss them. I bite them. I tickle them. We go to hotels. there's a suite haunted by the ghost of Sid Vicious or Nancy Spungeon. I like that one. Although I forget which ghost it is. Some spirits are so dull and nebulous. But my dates like it. It's fun to meet a ghost, especially with a witch for protection. That's what I tell them I am. I levitate a little... move things with 'mind power.' Sometimes I levitate during sex. that's a real show stopper. 



Edith (the housekeeper) knows. Look, Jonathon plays games too. I don't tell him and he doesn't tell me. Oh, and I have an alter-ego. Celeste and Marianne, the elferinas gave me the idea. When I'm out and about with Luther and Timothy or whoever, I'm not Sarah... I'm Evangeline.... Some in the Papal retinue have requested an audience. They know 'Papa' from his years in Rome and are curious about the rest of us, I suppose. I'll probably meet with them. we'll see. But that's three months away. If you're here then, or possibly before, make sure you see The Basilica Cathedral of Saints Peter and Paul... a vast baroque, God House on the Parkway and equal to anything in Europe. Then take in the deformed, grotesque, preserved bodies at The Mutter Museum... And maybe a stop at a strange, little, cozy, all night book shop called PHILADELPHIA AFTER DARK. Tell them I sent you... after all, I used to own the place.



Now let me go 'levitate' for a guy at The Society Hill Sheraton. I'm in a mood to put on a real show...



<to be continued>



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



click MOUSE TRACKS ... to see all Vampire Wonderland episodes...

click LATE NIGHT TALKS ... to join me on Twitter...

please comment. thank you

Saturday, June 27, 2015

A VAMPIRE SEES EVERYBODY DIE IN THEIR TURN .. 6/27/15

Our vampire friend, Jonathon, continues--- We saw them devour the girl and the baker's boy too. No one left. There were no 'delicate' ladies rushing from the hall. Some stopped eating, but not all. That's how it was. It wasn't the time. It was the people... at least on a brutal outgrowth of Western Asia, called Europe. 

Handicapped children were thrown down wells.... old wells... dry wells. You could hear them whimper. Not just handicapped children. Death, or witnessing death, was a grand entertainment. But if you've been with us a while you know that. 

The eleven year old boy, a last minute addition to the cast, tried climbing up the bars. He teetered, about to go over the edge. But the graf motioned toward a functionary who pushed him back in with a few quick pike jabs to the belly. The grandees in attendance chuckled at the comedy of it all. Baker boys were two for a pfennig. No one cared.

Then one of the zombies gently took the shocked, numb mortal girl by the hand... He kissed it, turned toward the crowd and leered, before taking each finger, in its turn, into his putrid, oozing mouth and biting it off. A second shouldered in to lick up the blood. A third made a succulent morsel of the baker's boy's cheek. The guests, by now quite into their cups, roared. A few well born ladies opened their bodices and teased the male zombie with their breasts. He rolled his eyes and made 'tongue dances' at them.

The graf's musicians, serfs, not much different than slaves, struck up a lively Bohemian Peasant Dance, as the Poo-Bah's banged their pewter tankards on the table as accompaniment. Zombies must appreciate music and rhythm, for it spurred them on... tearing flesh... crunching bone... ripping gristle. Soon the maiden and the boy were gone. The walking dead sat there, leaning against the bars, legs splayed out before them, stuffed with fresh, bloody meat. And they didn't realize what was going on, as the graf's men threw pitch soaked bundles of straw into the room sized enclosure and proceeded to light them up.

God damned zombies, what'd they think, they were gonna live forever?

The crowd liked the zombie-fire too.

Later, when the hall grew dark, I crept into the Lord's Room (he and his woman slept not in the vast space with the rest of us) and 'culled' them in reprise. The ghosts of their mortal victims, not to mention the zombies, heartily approved.

Just an episode from long ago.... something I remembered...

An Idea! ~~~ 'comment' any questions you might have and I, Jonathon ben Macabi, also known as Tomas de Macabea, will answer...

I hate these short summer nights...

<more next time>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

click SKULL SMASHER ... to browse all Vampire Wonderland episodes...
click PEANUTS AND ICE CREAM ... to join me on Twitter...

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The Vampire, Jonathon, Tells About A Zombie Show... 6/25/15

Once, long ago, I witnessed a Tot Wocher (dead walker, or zombie) Fleisch Esseren (flesh eatting). Please forgive me, but my Vahmperghan (Central European, German influenced, Vampire dialect) ist nicht sehr gut. They had a woman. They like women. The skin is easier to bite through. The meat... the muscle tissue is more tender... and they whimper so piteously. What? Did you think they scream the whole time? Well, they do not. Oh, it's not that the pain and shock lessens. But after a while a pathetic, though actually quite heroic, ennui sets in. You've seen the slow, almost beatific gasps of antelope, as lionesses rip out their guts? Not out on the streets. I mean on television. That's how it is with 'Die Essen' (the meal)....

This was in the thirteenth or fourteenth century, in a place that was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire. A certain graf (count) threw a banquet. The high age of castles and all that. Huge tapestries lined the rough stone walls. Vast fireplaces... more like bonfire-places bracketed the ends. We were seated at two, heavy, long, oak tables. In the middle, was the cage... a roughly twelve by twelve by twelve foot wrought iron cube. The bars were really very thin... just strong enough to keep the girl in. She wore a loose, linen smock. Under that, she was bare. The Fleisch Esseren would shred it in heartbeats. It was all part of the show. I'm sure she was drugged, but not too much. 

The 'zombies' were lowered from an opening in the high, vaulted roof, each one hanging from the neck, via stout, hemp ropes. They have strong necks, you know... at least the ones in those parts did. There were three of them and they thrashed and snarled like beasts... But you'd expect that. Nobles and consorts put down their dainty steel knives to watch. I remember how colorful the rafters were... all painted in bright reds, greens and yellows. Besides the huge fireplaces, scattered torches provided additional light. Oh, it was all rather lurid and shadowy, but we could see. Musicians provided a sad dirge on lutes, pipes and timbrels. Let me tell you... This was a big production. 

One zombie lacked a nose, maybe a few fingers, but other than that they were intact. Oh, before I forget, they too were covered by loose, linen smocks. People angled their heads to peek up under the hems. Zombie 'privates' along with 'mummia' were (in powdered form) considered to be potent restoratives and certain members of the walking dead were not so intact. But they didn't seem to care. 

The girl in the cage naturally saw them coming. She stared. She prayed. She spat at the crowd. They just watched. Then, one of the zombies, obviously a fresh one with a lingering bit of humanity, focused on someone in the audience. He pointed and said something in a dead, raspy voice. Mortals crossed themselves. To be addressed by a zombie is a horrible thing. 

When they reached the floor of the cage the ropes were dropped and the three Fleisch Esseren removed the nooses. Then they got down on all fours and crawled toward the victim, who was curled up and crying in a corner. First they sniffed. Then they tasted... No bites... just tongue. One, the older, more battered male, thrust his head under her smock. The girl screamed. Then it was on. They bit and tore and ripped like vultures. Thin strips of flesh snapped out toward the crowd. Ladies cowered. Their men watched impassively, as the girl, now completely stripped, began to wail. Those in the seats began to chew their meat almost reflexively. Pork favors human flesh. You know that.

A baker's boy tripped with a tray of rolls. The graf glowered, then, on a whim, snapped his fingers and said - Toss that dirty, little, son of a bitch in too. They cheered with delight as he sailed over the bars. Eleven years old is old enough..... 

< to be continued >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to see all Vampire Wonderland episodes, click DARKNESS ...
to join me on Twitter click WHISPERS ...
please leave a comment. thank you.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

TALES OF A VAMPIRE ABATTOIR ..6/18/15

Why do you feel guilty? - the silver haired Lucid Wanderer woman said.
Jonathon did not answer. He just sat there and stared at the people going by. He likes casino coffee shops and visits them whenever he's in Atlantic City. .. 
The Lucid Wanderer followed his gaze. --- What do you owe them? - she said. I don't mean on a micro level. I don't mean person to person, but as a whole... as a herd.  And don't talk to me about 'your vows.' Mortals have made vows for ages and the world never gets better. Maybe there're islands here and there, but just here and there. Imagine if you killed three a night... No credit.. No, what should I say, publicity? Just clean, hot kills. If you don't want to drink their blood, don't drink their blood. You didn't do it the other night. But vampires have powers. Murder comes natural to your kind. God's stilettos, so to speak. (eyes crowd) I bet they think that word means shoes....... It seems our Lucid Wanderer lady is a bit of a misanthrope.

Jonathon inhales the vapors rising from his exotic brew. Night-folk love rich aromas. Then he says - Where were you during The Renaissance?.....
Which Renaissance? - she says. There was an Islamic Renaissance around Samarkand and Tashkent, you know and Southeast Asia had quite a spell during... well, I forget what dynasty, but you know what I mean. You see, I haven't always been a 'westerner,' but you have....

Is that supposed to diminish me? - asks the vampire.
I don't know - says the lady. Consider it just another observation....

He nods..... She asks - Well, where were you?
I covered the waterfront, so to speak. The 'western world' was quite varied- he says.

No no no, don't go all scholastic on me. Tell me what you did. Who did you kill? Who did you not kill. And was it fun?

He studies her and says - You're going to die soon, aren't you.

She shrugs...

A human phoenix, that's what you are...

That's what they call Lucid Wanderers in China. Look, indulge me. Tell me some good stuff before I go (he gives her a look). Well, before I move on....

The vampire takes a teeny tiny sip of coffee. That much he can tolerate. Then he goes - I once hung a victim by his ankles, legs about two feet apart, and sawed my way through from groin to skull, straight down the vertebrae. I think they have thirty six, you know.....

When did he die? I assume it was a 'he' - she says..... 

They live as long as the heart and lungs continue functioning. No, maybe two or three minutes after that...

Do they thrash and scream a lot? They must...

Not so much. (he gestures) The wrists are shackled to the floor...

And they're naked?...

Of course they're naked. Half the people in The Renaissance were naked torture victims and the other half waited their turn....

She stifles a laugh and says - See, that's what I meant. Your 'fun' side. I want to see your fun side. What about blood orgies? Ever have any blood orgies?

How many is an orgy? - he asks.....

When you lose count - says the woman known as Boo-Kah-Lay-Nah. It talks a village to nourish a vampire... and she laughs...

Jonathon laughs too. They have huge stone basins, maybe thirty five feet across and fifteen feet deep. There's a drain in the middle. Two or three vampires go in.....

Are they naked? - she asks....

Well, considering what's coming, they'd have to be. This is like in a dungeon.... torch light... grease stained walls. Witnesses file in, dressed in black, beaded, Renaissance finery... faces white with chalk... hair blackened... lips all gray... eyes too. Then dungeon masters open a portal one gallery down and throw in the victims. Peeled like grapes they were. Oh, they greased the surface of the bowl to make them slide. A regular abattoir  it was. In fact, that was the name for it. Go right for the throat, we did... or the groin, or any other pressure point. Did you ever hear of nineteenth century rat pits, where they'd put a few terriers in a pen filled with rats and sporting types placed bets in how many rats each dog would kill? Same with us... And for a while, I was blue ribbon champ of Britain and The Low Countries....

I'm impressed - said the Lucid Wanderer...

But Jonathon, usually a moral restrained chap, was quite aroused by that confession and distracted by a plump, young thing busy with a creamy latte...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

click BLACK & WHITE TELEVISION ... to see all Vampire Wonderland episodes.
click CHOCOLATE KISSES ... to join me on Twitter