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The sat in a dark, little, damp space under the city. Mole folk lived close by, but they give zombies a wide berth. Vampires, at lease the 'noble' variety have a certain sense... a certain basic civilization. You can deal with them. But Flesh Eaters are different. When they're hungry, they're hungry. They crack through windpipes and ask questions later, often while savoring meaty thighs, or a nice, fresh, raw, human rump roast.
This particular hidey-hole was a natural cave. Excavation gangs found it a hundred years ago, when they dug all the subway tunnels. Left it just like it was. Called it 'the grotto.' Lit candles down there for them what died during construction. Not a big place. Maybe sixteen feet deep by ten or twelve feet wide. They say the ghost of a small American Indian girl frequents the place. Not a permanent presence. Why would a child want to re-live their death? No one knows what killed her. They found the bones, a complete skeleton. Some saw cut marks on femurs and other long bones, but that was just conjecture. They weren't deep, or sharp. There's no way to tell for sure. But Lars has his own opinions. He leads the zombies in these parts. They call them 'dukes.' Some say 'king.' Some don't use a title at all. Followers just know. And they facilitate more than dictate. But each 'duchy' is different. Here we got The Grand Duchy of Philadelphia. Goes all the way down to the South Jersey Shore. You can figure it out. Each metro area is a 'duchy.' And our duke, Lars, is a hard worker. Keeps things organized. Ain't even Scandinavian. Used to like soap operas. Had one back in radio days called I Remember Mama about an old, immigrant Norwegian family. He liked it, 'cause it was homey and all. Identified with the son called Lars, so he called 'Lars.' Zombies are ruthless, but that don't mean they're not sentimental. That's why he cares about Opal. Uther got her all cleaned up. Scrubbed off all the blood. Flossed her teeth real good. Washed her hair. She says she misses her mama, 'cause the mama had a special way a dryin' her hair. But that ain't gonna happen no more, 'cause 'mama' got herself all ate up. Papa got ate up too. Little sister don't wanna get all ate up, so she run away. Dog goes with her too. Zombie don't eat dog, but that don't mean they don't kill 'em. Zombie kill bobcat too. Ain't no bobcat in this thing now, but just in case you want to know.
It dark in that little hidey-hole. Not all dark. They got two Sterno cans goin'. Sterno like gold down them tunnels. Mole folks get it from a guy in jersey. He like a wholesaler. Subway go all the way to Camden. That how they get there. But two Sterno cans mean in like 'Halloween on a back porch' dark. You can see nuff to know who folks are, but not like to put in contact lens or squeeze a pimple. Lars go - Let me get a good look at that gal..... Uther nudge her and she get up. She got clothes she grabbed from home, after she done all the killin'. Stuff she got for Easter... new jeans and like a smock top for dinner at Aunt Tootsie's house. Kids her age don't dress up no more. That just for babies.
Uther go - She the one. Been watchin' since eighth grade examination. Doc brother a zombie. They still talk, so he know. Got 'the traits'.... ran blood tests... did scans. Mama go - Why you all doin' this to my baby? Ain't this jus' like a scoliosis check?... Doc go - We checkin' for 'sugar' and other crap too.... Mama go - So we can't go to Friendly's after?... Doc say - No, you can do that.... They run DNA test on the blood, but she ain't gotta know.
Fungus what cause this zombie thing usually stop baby-makin'..... Not the 'doin' but the 'havin.' Only this girl... this, Opal, I mean, got the marker in the blood. Mold make her zombie, but her baby-makin' parts still prime. She gone be a 'Big Mama' and that a very, very special thing. Only had like four or five a them... maybe two or three 'Big Daddies'. I talkin' 'bout this country an' up in Canada, naturally.
Opal little bit nervous. She don't know what they gone do to her, or who gone do it..... She go - I thirsty. You got any cherry soda?.... Zombies do alright with liquids.
Lars go - Shut up, girl. We gotta talk..... So she sit there, tryin' a read an old Archie comic in the dim, flickering light, but you can see she little bit scared...
This your favorite disembodied spirit narrator, the Cajun Gentleman known as Mister Never-You-Mind, signing off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
click WOOF WOOF to browse all 1,500 Vampire Wonderland episodes.
click MEOW to join me on Twitter.
please COMMENT. thank you.
This particular hidey-hole was a natural cave. Excavation gangs found it a hundred years ago, when they dug all the subway tunnels. Left it just like it was. Called it 'the grotto.' Lit candles down there for them what died during construction. Not a big place. Maybe sixteen feet deep by ten or twelve feet wide. They say the ghost of a small American Indian girl frequents the place. Not a permanent presence. Why would a child want to re-live their death? No one knows what killed her. They found the bones, a complete skeleton. Some saw cut marks on femurs and other long bones, but that was just conjecture. They weren't deep, or sharp. There's no way to tell for sure. But Lars has his own opinions. He leads the zombies in these parts. They call them 'dukes.' Some say 'king.' Some don't use a title at all. Followers just know. And they facilitate more than dictate. But each 'duchy' is different. Here we got The Grand Duchy of Philadelphia. Goes all the way down to the South Jersey Shore. You can figure it out. Each metro area is a 'duchy.' And our duke, Lars, is a hard worker. Keeps things organized. Ain't even Scandinavian. Used to like soap operas. Had one back in radio days called I Remember Mama about an old, immigrant Norwegian family. He liked it, 'cause it was homey and all. Identified with the son called Lars, so he called 'Lars.' Zombies are ruthless, but that don't mean they're not sentimental. That's why he cares about Opal. Uther got her all cleaned up. Scrubbed off all the blood. Flossed her teeth real good. Washed her hair. She says she misses her mama, 'cause the mama had a special way a dryin' her hair. But that ain't gonna happen no more, 'cause 'mama' got herself all ate up. Papa got ate up too. Little sister don't wanna get all ate up, so she run away. Dog goes with her too. Zombie don't eat dog, but that don't mean they don't kill 'em. Zombie kill bobcat too. Ain't no bobcat in this thing now, but just in case you want to know.
It dark in that little hidey-hole. Not all dark. They got two Sterno cans goin'. Sterno like gold down them tunnels. Mole folks get it from a guy in jersey. He like a wholesaler. Subway go all the way to Camden. That how they get there. But two Sterno cans mean in like 'Halloween on a back porch' dark. You can see nuff to know who folks are, but not like to put in contact lens or squeeze a pimple. Lars go - Let me get a good look at that gal..... Uther nudge her and she get up. She got clothes she grabbed from home, after she done all the killin'. Stuff she got for Easter... new jeans and like a smock top for dinner at Aunt Tootsie's house. Kids her age don't dress up no more. That just for babies.
Uther go - She the one. Been watchin' since eighth grade examination. Doc brother a zombie. They still talk, so he know. Got 'the traits'.... ran blood tests... did scans. Mama go - Why you all doin' this to my baby? Ain't this jus' like a scoliosis check?... Doc go - We checkin' for 'sugar' and other crap too.... Mama go - So we can't go to Friendly's after?... Doc say - No, you can do that.... They run DNA test on the blood, but she ain't gotta know.
Fungus what cause this zombie thing usually stop baby-makin'..... Not the 'doin' but the 'havin.' Only this girl... this, Opal, I mean, got the marker in the blood. Mold make her zombie, but her baby-makin' parts still prime. She gone be a 'Big Mama' and that a very, very special thing. Only had like four or five a them... maybe two or three 'Big Daddies'. I talkin' 'bout this country an' up in Canada, naturally.
Opal little bit nervous. She don't know what they gone do to her, or who gone do it..... She go - I thirsty. You got any cherry soda?.... Zombies do alright with liquids.
Lars go - Shut up, girl. We gotta talk..... So she sit there, tryin' a read an old Archie comic in the dim, flickering light, but you can see she little bit scared...
This your favorite disembodied spirit narrator, the Cajun Gentleman known as Mister Never-You-Mind, signing off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
click WOOF WOOF to browse all 1,500 Vampire Wonderland episodes.
click MEOW to join me on Twitter.
please COMMENT. thank you.
