Posts
t
This is still wilkravitz. I know I planned to blog again later last night, but those coffee bar witches did something funny to my venti. whether on purpose or by accident, I do not know. But my stomach is a lot better now. Other stressed-out body parts are improving too. And one a them eggs was actually a double-yolker. That made me, at least, feel a little better. Edith took a picture of it. If we knew what we were doing with this computer, we'd post it on You Tube. But as it stands, all we can do is make Xerox copies at the Office Max and shove 'em under the windshield wipers of cars in the parking lot.. Still, I'm not sure how proficient those witches are. One was carrying a dog-earred, yellow trade paperback called Witchcraft for Dummies and the other one had a light, little, mousy colored dusting of hair on her upper lip. I figure any real witch would at least know how to get rid of that. I mean can't she at least melt some wax in that cauldron? How hard can that be? I'm still gonna give them the benefit of the doubt, 'cause I thought they liked me. Who knows? Maybe the eggs were meant as a gift?
Edith fried up a batch. I wouldn't eat 'em. But the two Red Paint guys we got living here tucked right in. Said they had a certain rich quality, like duck eggs, or goose eggs. Hey, you know, one of my great-great uncles was a butter and egg man. Maybe it's in the family?
Jonathon is attempting to get through to me. It's hard what with him on an all-expense-paid tour of Heaven and all. I understand that. When the guy who always fixed our roof was dying, he said he'd try to reach out to us from the 'other side.' Ran out to Toys R Us for a Ouija board and everything. But after two hours of scrunchin' up our faces and carefully dangling our fingers over that little plastic sliding piece, all we got was a new steady leak over the diningroom table (our seance/talkin' to dead folks chamber) and a damp stain in the ceiling plaster shaped like Buddy Hackett. The dead roofer's son DID come over to fix it, though. Only charged us sixhundred and fifty dollars too, even without the coupon. I guess THAT was something. But every year, on the anniversary of the late roofer's passing, that Buddy Hackett stain reappears. Some of us thought it was a miracle...others, just cheap primer.
But I think he's trying to tell me to look for 'the dream' to start spreading around in this country (America) too. So if you, or your friends have had it, please contact us and leave a comment. Also comment if you know the language that 'scotosh beedosh...' comes from. They say the Red Paint Folks know something about that. Only the ones I met don't talk much, kinda like taller versions of that little guy from Penn and Teller. One a the R.P. guys we got here claims he was 'smacked in the head' by lightning seven times. One ear does look a little crazy, so who knows?
Oh, and one more thing... Lailah wants to make her father into a life-eater too. Hasn't done anything yet, but she's thinkin' about it.....I guess she's lonely. I guess she's havin' second thoughts. Maybe she shoulda picked a different 'major"? Maybe being a vampire ain't for her? Shame, too, because she's so damn good at it.......
Oh, jeez!!! Look, you're gonna have to excuse me. But I hafta go. I hafta run out to that pile a blankets we got in the garage. An egg is comin'.....I can feel it! I can feel it! I can feel it!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
remember. scroll down to the bottom. that's where some son-of-a-bitch banished all our best gadgets. and we don't know how to get 'em back..... gotta get me some 'click and drag' lessons...
This is still wilkravitz. I know I planned to blog again later last night, but those coffee bar witches did something funny to my venti. whether on purpose or by accident, I do not know. But my stomach is a lot better now. Other stressed-out body parts are improving too. And one a them eggs was actually a double-yolker. That made me, at least, feel a little better. Edith took a picture of it. If we knew what we were doing with this computer, we'd post it on You Tube. But as it stands, all we can do is make Xerox copies at the Office Max and shove 'em under the windshield wipers of cars in the parking lot.. Still, I'm not sure how proficient those witches are. One was carrying a dog-earred, yellow trade paperback called Witchcraft for Dummies and the other one had a light, little, mousy colored dusting of hair on her upper lip. I figure any real witch would at least know how to get rid of that. I mean can't she at least melt some wax in that cauldron? How hard can that be? I'm still gonna give them the benefit of the doubt, 'cause I thought they liked me. Who knows? Maybe the eggs were meant as a gift?
Edith fried up a batch. I wouldn't eat 'em. But the two Red Paint guys we got living here tucked right in. Said they had a certain rich quality, like duck eggs, or goose eggs. Hey, you know, one of my great-great uncles was a butter and egg man. Maybe it's in the family?
Jonathon is attempting to get through to me. It's hard what with him on an all-expense-paid tour of Heaven and all. I understand that. When the guy who always fixed our roof was dying, he said he'd try to reach out to us from the 'other side.' Ran out to Toys R Us for a Ouija board and everything. But after two hours of scrunchin' up our faces and carefully dangling our fingers over that little plastic sliding piece, all we got was a new steady leak over the diningroom table (our seance/talkin' to dead folks chamber) and a damp stain in the ceiling plaster shaped like Buddy Hackett. The dead roofer's son DID come over to fix it, though. Only charged us sixhundred and fifty dollars too, even without the coupon. I guess THAT was something. But every year, on the anniversary of the late roofer's passing, that Buddy Hackett stain reappears. Some of us thought it was a miracle...others, just cheap primer.
But I think he's trying to tell me to look for 'the dream' to start spreading around in this country (America) too. So if you, or your friends have had it, please contact us and leave a comment. Also comment if you know the language that 'scotosh beedosh...' comes from. They say the Red Paint Folks know something about that. Only the ones I met don't talk much, kinda like taller versions of that little guy from Penn and Teller. One a the R.P. guys we got here claims he was 'smacked in the head' by lightning seven times. One ear does look a little crazy, so who knows?
Oh, and one more thing... Lailah wants to make her father into a life-eater too. Hasn't done anything yet, but she's thinkin' about it.....I guess she's lonely. I guess she's havin' second thoughts. Maybe she shoulda picked a different 'major"? Maybe being a vampire ain't for her? Shame, too, because she's so damn good at it.......
Oh, jeez!!! Look, you're gonna have to excuse me. But I hafta go. I hafta run out to that pile a blankets we got in the garage. An egg is comin'.....I can feel it! I can feel it! I can feel it!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
remember. scroll down to the bottom. that's where some son-of-a-bitch banished all our best gadgets. and we don't know how to get 'em back..... gotta get me some 'click and drag' lessons...
