Wednesday, December 21, 2011

LITTLE ANNIE AND HORSEY SKEEJUS

Annie was sittin' on a hard mound a dirt. She wanted somethin' to do. Already drunk up most a the blood in some old bitch squattin' in a old trailer. You found them, every once in a while, hidden in the Pines. I don't know what the leathery, wrinkle-puss did to warrant gettin' killed that way. But our stringy haired little freak had instincts about that sort a thing. She went after the 'Miss Hannigan' types, folks who tortures kids. So the knobby-chinned, hatchet face must a done somethin'. Maybe she pressed lit cigarettes up against  little kids' asses, or washed they mouths out with dried-up, hairy scraps a soap. Who the hell cares. Annie didn't.

Skeejus wanted to go with her. Oh, his little bat wings was shaken. He couldn't wait. Annie said that she'd take him, if after, he showed her the place where Jersey Devils stored all the souvenirs in they twisted off head colllection. That how them Jersey Devils do it. First they sneak in. Then they stand by the bed. Sometimes down by the foot. Other times along side. Depends how they got the room laid out. You know people got all different kinds a taste. Second thing they do is make a noise. They got this banshee thing they do. Wave they arms around. Kick over a lamp. Squeeze a puppy. Make horse farts. Then, when the dumb son-a-bitch wake up, they bug out they eyes and make 'emselves look real crazy. Now try to imagine how crazy they look normally, so this really must really be somethin'.Soon as the person finishes yodeling and all and shittin' the bed (lots of 'em does that), the J,D, grabs the sides a the skull, right in front a the ears, and twists the unfortunate head around and around til it just goes 'gook' and falls off. Do it right and what's left a the neck is all wound shut like an old fashioned sausage. They got a bone pit some wheres near here and Annie wants a see it. ......... Know how they navigate through the partially dead trees (what with no sunlight and all)? They looted a whole bunch a nine volt, key chain  flashlights from a  closed up CVS store down by the Black Horse Pike. Came with batteries and everything. Now being weird, little pseudo humans in their own right, night vision comes natural to 'em. But they like the little colorful plastic gadgets. Annie plays like they lazer beams. That how she woke up the old bastid in the trailer. Went 'woo-woo-woo,' jiggling the little light all 'round her face and eyes. Then, soon as they open, she says - Get ready to die,  you stinkin', old bitch you..... Old lady goes to slap her away, like she some low-life kid from that dirty muskrat eatin' family next door. But Annie too fast for her. Jumps up on her stomach. Grabs her face (jus like she gonna kiss her). Cracks it over to the side a little and chomps right into her neck. Old lady moanin' and groanin', tryin' to pull her off. But you can't do that to no vampire once they taste blood. Skeejus jumpin' up and down clapping his hands. Wings flyin' all around knockin' cheap, little knick knacks off a shelves. She did have a cat. But Skeejus squished it up real good soon as they broke in.

Then, when the show was mostly over, Annie lifts up a gray, stinkin' crusty foot and bites off a couple toes. Skeejus wanted one, but she wouldn't give it. Said he'd get it after he showed her the twisted-off heads..

But soon as they get outside, she notice somethin' funny. Sky not so pitch black no more. Oh, you or I would never a noticed. But she did. Vampires is sensitive to solar radiation. So she look up toward where Heaven used to be, 'spectin' to see the backside a the Great Sky Sea. And that Earth-shroudin' watery shell still there. Only it startin' to break up a little. Tiny baby droplets a brightness beginning to ooze down. Skinny, fuzzy cracks startin' to skate across the darkness. And she just stand there, all hypnotized by the show, til Skeejus ask her if she still  want a see the heads. She say - Huh?.... But then she remembers and runs off with him through the trees....... No foul-mouthed, little kid gonna pass up a free twisted-off head show, 'specially one what's also a vampire. It still dark enough....she got time.....

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generationwhynot-stupidgirl: Shameful Confession #2: "DJ Becky".....

generationwhynot-stupidgirl: Shameful Confession #2: "DJ Becky".....

TABLE-TALK UPON A FOREIGN WORLD

The former First Lady gestured for Jonathon to slide into the booth and she scootched in next to him after he did. Resurrected John Lennon took a seat opposite them, but immediately lost himself scanning through the choices on the small, table-top, juke box. He did love his music, after all. A young man in a well pressed white shirt and black trousers came by to take their order. Jonathon couldn't help but notice how much he favored 60's crooner Bobby Darrin. In fact, his little plastic name pin even said Bobby. Eleanor ordered half a Monte Cristo sandwich and a small Waldorf salad. Lennon got a grilled cheese and bacon. Jonathon giddily asked for a hamburger on a toasted bun topped with lettuce, tomato and raw onion. Bobby Darrin asked him how he wanted it. The inexperienced vampire said - Right away.

Jonathon looked out the window as a pod of those humongus, pumped-up, sausage organisms passed by. Their undulating movements resembled humpback whales on Earth and he became hypnotized by their dance. How do you find Saturn? - said Mrs. Roosevelt......... The well meaning vampire thought for a moment and said - Big.......... Mrs. Roosevelt said - I suppose in this star system it is. Now, tell me, young man, why do you oppose us?.................... Jonathon sucked in a lung-full of laundered, artificially cooled air, held it for a moment, quickly exhaled, and said - To protect our world. To save our people.And do you mind if I ask you what Josephine Baker, Ghengis Kahn and excuse me, is that Danny Kaye?....... His table mate nodded......have to do with all this? ...... We find them amusing - said the willowy old broad. That's why we brought him back - she added, gesturing toward the British Grammy winner. Sing us a song, Johnny-Boy..... The unofficial spokesman for the four mop-tops cleared his throat, slid out, stepped into the aisle, gestured toward the crowd, got their attention, composed himself for a moment and launched into a rousing performance of Back In the U.S.S.R., with Bobby Darrin and Janis Joplin providing back-up. George Harrison, reportedly, was attending a dinner for the Eighth Dalai Lama and unable to assist.And according to  the The Akoshic Records, King Shaka Zulu liked it very much.

A few thousand heartbeats later, after thoroughly savoring his juicy, flavorful patty of  perfectly seared chopped beef, Jonathon released his first anal toot in over ten hundred years. The dinner was quite a success. Nazimova slinked over, inviting him to a party, but he had to demure, for his Democratic Diva of a guide had much more to tell him. So they stepped 'outside,' hailed another trio of flying monkeys and were off. Lennon sang We All Live In A Yellow Submarine, as they swooped and swirled through the unbelievable immensity of the giant, ringed orb.

Meanwhile, back on a dark, cocooned Earth, Annie began to see fuzzy, pale cracks spidering their way across the under-side of the Great Sky Sea.. And her playmate, a juvenile Jersey Devil, looked up through the pines and whinnied in agreement.

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