Sunday, November 17, 2013

AN ASSORTMENT OF VAMPIRE WONDERLAND CHARACTERS TALK... 11/17/13

DARK TOWNHOUSE KITCHEN

Some guy types away on a laptop under a weak, focused beam from a recessed ceiling fixture. It's 'wilkravitz' (Okay, you know it's me, BILLY)

He stops typing, looks up from the screen... addresses the camera.

BILLY - They had an idea... a vampire blog... an ongoing journal 
               detailing their lives, histories and secrets.. Not fiction. 
               never fiction. We only pretend that it is. Sometimes 
               they talk and I type. Sometimes I record what I see on
               this little audio thing and type it up later. Occasionally 
               one of them 'sends' stuff telepathically. I'm not the best.
               But I try. They tell me I'm pretty accurate, but I think 
               that's because the 'senders' are vampires and they got this
               whole magic-energy-power thing. Maybe that's what does 
                it. I'm just guessing.

               But they're starting to blame me for everything. Vampires
               like a certain amount of 'controlled' notoriety. They're 
               vain. Edith says it's not really that they're vain. They're
               just self-conscious about being different. You know, no
               matter what they say, they really never stop being human,
               just a different kind of human. They want to be accepted. 
              They want to be understood. And this is real life. I'm not
               talking about them leather and lace posers you read about
               everywhere else. Jeez, you know what Jonathon does 
               every year when Hanukah time rolls around? He makes
               little, dark, blue velvet, drawstring gift bags. Fills 'em 
               with like ten silver dollars, maybe some gold foil wrapped
               chocolate coins. And you know how much real silver
               dollars bring. He walks the streets, giving them out to poor
               people. Some are regulars. They wait for him every year.
               And he's done this for like three hundred years, maybe 
               more. I don't know if he did it in Europe. I don't know.

               Tells me it's my fault some TV or movie guy doesn't notice
               'us'. Actually bought a copy of THE HOLLYWOOD 
               REPORTER AGENTS & MANAGERS DIRECTORY, I
               think it is. Had me make up these really nice proposals...
               query letters, synopsis'... all that stuff... on real expensive,
               heavy stock too. Believe me. I got the paper cuts, or at 
               least the scars from them, to prove it. Sent out maybe 
               sixty of them. Most never responded. I included stamped 
               envelopes, postcards, everything. A few scrawled 'nope'
               on the postcard and that was it. One or two tried to be 
               polite about it. But it always came down to the same 
               thing...'recommendations'.... 'who sent you's?'.... and we
               just got the wrong kind a 'uncles.' What else can I tell you?

               Sarah don't mind too much. She just does her thing and
               keeps quiet. But Jonathon minds. It hurts him. I can tell.                    It's not like anyone on the other side of the velvet ropes 
               ever read their stories and THEN said no, 'cause that 
               ain't happened... not even once. They just say 'no.' 
               Jonathon stares at them rejections and says - They won't
               even sanction my right to exist.... Then he lights an 
               aroma candle (vampires love aroma candles) and sits in
               the corner.

               The whole idea behind the blog was to draw attention
               and it still is. They're not gonna stop. I'm not gonna stop.
               How can I? And we have had almost a hundred and forty 
                thousand 'hits.' Sure some're spam. Everybody gets spam.
               But not too much, 'cause I keep track of it. First year we 
               got zilch. Page views I mean. Second year we got maybe
               a little more than zilch. Third year was better. And you
               know how grateful we all are for each and every one of 
               you... 'readers' I mean.

               But if you got like a friend, or cousin who 'knows 
               somebody, and if you like what we put out there,
               please point them our way.

               Thank you. I didn't mean to go on like this, but you
                know how it is... And I gotta stop now and get a drink
                'cause my throat is so dry from talkin' so much..

Sighs, gets up. Goes over to the big, stainless steel, French door, refrigerator, takes out a two liter plastic jug of iced tea, screws off the top and guzzled it right from the container... Then he puts it back, closes the fridge, turns off the laptop and flips off the light. 

The screen goes black, save for the words VAMPIRE WONDERLAND IS REAL...

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