Monday, September 30, 2013

ROMULUS DOES THINGS FOR PEOPLE... a werewolf hit-man... 9/30/13

They come to me and I make things right. I got a chest. They give me gold. They give me jewelry. Sometimes they pay with bullion. Is that the word for real watery soup? I don't know, 'cause I don't eat it. 

My brother, Remus, keep to hisself. He stay in the woods. He stay in the bayou. Got a friend... crazy, old, school teacher guy. Live in a hovel. Not in the bayou, but on the solid ground part. Folks call it 'the bayou.' Map call it 'the bayou.' But it not. They talk 'bout books and history and ree-lih-john. I not got no ree-lih-john. That why I gonna kill him one day. Not the crazy school teacher. He old. Got like a pencil neck. He gone die anyway. No, I gone kill Remus. I gone kill my brother, for he not bow down to my 'natural leadership.' He know it right, but he won't do it. 

Man comin' a see me. Not 'bout my brother. 'Bout somethin' else. Want revenge. Want it real bad. He ride his truck down road. Motorcycle cop shoot out, say he no good. Say he go too fast. Give him ticket. Six dollar big money for goin' fast, 'specially when it a lie. He go to where the judge be. He tell him. He tell him good. Judge say - Who you lawyer?.... Truck drivin' fella say - Ain't got one.... Judge say - Guilty! Now gimme dat money......... Dat how it be when you not got no lawyer. ..... Them what got one say - My lawyer Mister Jim... or My Lawyer Mister Luke.... They all we got 'round here. But them what gots 'em hear judge say - Approach the bench for a consultation.... So Jim go, or Luke go. Them what got one go too. Judge buzz a little. Jim or Luke buzz a little. Judge go - Harumph, harumph, NOT GUILTY!..... He do that 'cause lawyer fella give him money. Give him half what you give him. Lawyer fella and judge go halfsies.  Ain't nobody sayin' it out loud, but that what they do. That what they always do...... Truck driver fella say he gone give me gold watch. It worth more than six dollar, but he real angry. Want me to teach that judge real good. I say - For sure, I will..... Dat mean - You wait a bitsy an' I gone rip his throat out.... Truck driver fella gone watch. He pay 'nuff, so he get show too. He get real good show..... I a shape shiftin' werewolf an' I know how to do it. Don't advertise, but them what need me know. Bayou folk know lot a stuff. I like their big brudder. An' I take care my pack. You can gah-ron-tee.

Now 'scuse me (say the werewolf), as he get up an' give Miz Lizzie her two bits. She the diner lady 'round here an' he get half price chicken pot pie whenever he want one. Cop only get a doughnut.

That just how it is.....

Romulus Lupine a big handsome kind a fella. Real at home in his skin, if you know what I mean. Act like - What these God damn clothes doin' on my body? What for I need them skivvies an' all?..... 

But he not always a wolfie, so sometime he need that crap. Look, we all got a do what we all got a do... Bayou folk smart that way...
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