MADAM SHANG TELLS OF FIRST FACTS BEFORE LATER FACTS

Come, oh best beloveds, or those I deem to call by that name. Attend to me and hear what I say. Turn away from the 'evil cloud' that passes among you. The truth of it may come as a surprise. Drift with me, as I enlighten you. I speak especially to the mortals of the New World and share first truths, which were twisted into new lies.

Know this. I was already Jiang-Shi, or Kyuuketsuki < old Chinese terms for 'vampire'>  long before these times...and a demi-goddess too. But I never relinquished an interest in my people. An many a royal ear felt the breath of my whisper. If only they had listened. 

There came a master, sent to us by The Divinities of Heaven, named Zhu-Di, known to the ages as The Great Yong Le Emperor. Your puny peninsula of Europe was greatly weakened at this time, having recently weathered The Plague. But China was strong, rich with the treasures of Persia and Araby, Angor Wat and Ethiopia. And our Most Perfect Benefactor , the emperor, desired more. 

So in the year known to you as only 1400 or so, he decreed ships to be built. Great ships. Vast ships. Unseen in your world til  the age of steam. Six hundred feet long they were and one hundred ninety feet wide. They carried men and cattle and weapons and eunuchs. They carried intricate brass, navigational devices, gun powder and gold. And they ventured out beyond the islands of our little brother, The Empire of Nippon. 

But, lo, The Jade Emperor was in a playful mood. And He Who rules The Heavens birthed a great storm, confounding the fleet and scattering it far to the east, before finding rest in another enchanted realm, known to the world as Tiuantinsuyu, The Empire of The Four Ways..... north, south, east and west. I believe your mandarins style it 'The Inca Empire.' From that noble anchorage they set out to see more, exploring far, far up the coastline to a vast natural harbor, which is at this time known as the Golden Gate, in the place you call California.

Strange beasts, armadillos, condors and miniature camels called llamas appeared in the noble menageries of The Middle Kingdom. Courtiers petitioned He Who Holds The Mandate of Heaven to return to the east, so that these lands might be civilized and brought under our beneficent tutelage. But the cost of such endeavors was dear and the Great Yong Le said - No.

We retreated to our pleasure domes, allowing lesser kings to gnaw at the carcass of these novel lands. But we learned and we hoped and we suffered and we waited. 

Now I am here. And the one you call 'Papa' is with me. True, the quest is not his. But he will help.  And The Golden Gate shall welcome back the Yong Le fleet once more.

Be gone!! I have breathed on you enough! I go to take my pleasure with my new Cro-Magnon prince.....

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A NEBULOUS MANIFESTATION OF EVIL

The day passed without incident. Tomas and Sarah shared their subterranean, flower- petal lined, deep, dark crypt. Annie holed up with her whorey looking Barbies and her iPod. Conrad retreated to his snug, little cubicle (actually part of a walk-in closet)with a bunch of old National Geographics. I don't know where he got them from. I think they grow like mold. And that was it. Edith sat at the granite island playing solitaire and doing her nails. Sometimes she listened to talk shows. 

It was one of those special days... the kind you get late in summer or early in fall, when the weather says - I ain't gonna make 'em sweat too much for a change....... The sky glows with a cerulean radiance. All is fresh and clean. A plump, little baby popped out right in the middle of a Center City tapas bar. I think it had a mother wrapped around it first. You know what I mean. It didn't come from nowhere. They shot exteriors for some new cop show on Arch street. The star was 'givin' it to' one a the brand new P.I.'s . She made sure he got some a the extra special pizza. But that's a whole other story. They're gonna get married, but it won't last. At least she'll get a development deal at IMAGINE out of it...... It's all who you know. And just off Broad Street some mental guy was tryin' a clip off his eyelashes with an old pair a cuticle scissors in front of a polished, metal mirror in the sticky men's room of a no-name burger joint, when a disgruntled, grease-splattered pattie flipper storms in, BANGS the door against the wall and makes him stab his eye out. He laid on the floor trembling for twenty minutes.

That was the day. That was it.

And a few hours later, when the light dripped away, the nebulous evil came back. It did not condense in the same place. Actually, I don't know where it happened. But a nice lady holding a sleeping two year old slipped right off the subway platform. No one could save them from the speeding train. Rush hour traffic got held up for almost ninety minutes. 

It's not that you could actually see the cloud, but if you passed through it you'd know. All of a sudden you felt sad. Couldn't put your finger on it...and that made it worse. I suppose experts would call it an anxiety attack. Look, they gotta call it something. 

Baylah was back in town. She'd been here for a few days already. Contractors were doin' something to her boyfriends house down the shore. You know how they do those places up in the fall. Gotta keep that HGTV gloss goin'. 

She liked the fall. Liked her cozy, little piano bar. Liked her nest upstairs. Liked the regulars. One or two might a known she was a life-eater (politically correct term for 'vampire') , but that was all right, 'cause they got a pretty sophisticated crowd. Singer was crooning through the Rufus Wainwright songbook. He's an extra special favorite in Philadelphia. Mellow, poignant, story songs, just right for a chill, autumn night.

But things changed real fast when Miss Lipskey, a well polished woman of a certain age, with a pre-War condo to die for, actually did. Just went 'guhk' face down in a hot bowl a gourmet chili. Didn't look all polished no more after they sat her up though. Found her partial bridge under the piano. Guess somebody kicked it. Still, her nephew was glad to get it back.

Was it the 'cloud'? .... What do you think?

Annie was fixin' herself up to go runnin' the streets. Started humin' 'rain, rain, go away. come again some other day'..... 'Cept it wasn't rainin'.

Sarah, still all God-juiced from last night's service, didn't want her to do it. But you have to be careful how you approach Annie about these things, 'cause she can be crazy. 

And tonight, somethin' was makin' her brain itch real bad......

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O. G. Tomes: "She Becomes You" Sneek Peek!!

O. G. Tomes: "She Becomes You" Sneek Peek!!: "She's the type of nightmare you never wake up from..... 5 out of 5 stars to "She Becomes You" Go ahead, you know you want a look... BIG NEW HOT BOOK......(go read the 'sneak' and then come back and read us too ---)

The First Forgiveness Service Was Nice. What Happened Next Wasn't

They sat in the back, in the very last pew. It was easy to slide in. No velvet cushions this month, what with everybody repenting and all. The Old Pine Street Synagogue, dating from Federalist times had a clean, spare, austere look. Google any early American house of worship. You'll see. The wood floors shine with a rich, deep darkness. Everything else is painted white, except for the varnished oak trim running along the pews and up around the rostrum. The doors to The Ark, behind the rostrum were made of intricately engraved silver, dulled by the years, but still quite lovely. Guide book says they came from Portugal via Holland. Large, brass chandeliers with 'authentic, flame-like bulbs' bathed the faithful in a soft warm glow. 

Tomas and Sarah sat next to an old woman. She smiled at them and they smiled back. He put on his prayer cap, opened the 'book of service' (he and Sarah shared) and joined in, letting the hymns from the white robed choir wash over him. 

And maybe it was Divine Truth, or perhaps just vampiric memory, but he saw the year pass before his eyes....both the triumphs and the failures.... the sins of the flesh and the sins of the spirit....... He quietly repeated - Have mercy, Lord. For my body and soul are Thine.......And God responds - Prepare thyself. Turn away from sin and set thy feet upon My path.... Tomas and the rest of those assembled said that they would. And none so much as suspected the presence of a vampire in their midst.

When they broke for fellowship, he had a taste of wine. The grapes make that a difficult proposition for vampires, but he persevered. Sarah had some too. A lady from the sisterhood offered homemade spongecake, which they 'reluctantly' demurred. Diabetic, you know. Then they made pleasant small talk with a couple from Queens Village (the neighborhood to the south) and left. The streets were dark and quiet. Most of the small, sidewalk trees were still green, though a few dried leaves hid here and there. They held hands. His heart beat slow and calm.

Yet in the blackest shadows of a narrow alley, something watched and it growled as they passed. A four legged creature, with coarse, charcoal fur recorded every move, silently loping out onto the sidewalk and following from a distance. I could tell you its eyes burned orange in the night. A detail like that is usually what comes next. But as it crossed a pool of light cast down from  a black, iron street lamp (the real deal) anyone could see that it had no eyes. The lids hung limp over empty sockets. Still it 'saw' with a sharp keen sight.

The thing accompanied them all the way home. When they went inside and locked the door, it stood vigil , still as stone, in shadows 'neath an old gnarled tree, before vanishing into the mist with the first light of a cool, false dawn...

The 'Dream Time' image draws near...

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THE VAMPIRE TOMAS ATTENDS A MIDNIGHT SERVICE

I heard him in the study all alone and chanting prayers. The lights were off and no one else was home. Annie ran the streets and Edith went to see a movie. She always stops for pancakes after that. And Conrad went to do the things that only Conrad does. I know he's felt the burden from the start. For sometimes being night-folk ain't much like what's on TV. And night-folk take most everything to heart. 

We had a scuffed, old stereo from nineteen sixty three. Baylah brought it over from her bar. He set it up upon the desk and put the record on, an ancient copy of Jan Pierce, I think he was a big opera star, singing KOL NIDRE, the Hebrew prayer for Divine forgiveness of human frailty. Tomas did that from time to time. We know not to bother him. Once in a while I'll sit with him. He holds me. I rest my head on his shoulder. I don't say anything, but I hear him whisper - And, please, LORD,  forgive and protect my Sarah too. Then he kisses the top of my head. He cries a little bit and it's over. 

But this night is different. This night is Selichot (service of first forgiveness), leading up to the Biblical New Year and THE DAY OF ATONEMENT. Look, I've picked up a lot living with him  for over two years. He can't attend services on The Day of Atonement because that's not his time. He's a vampire... and a good one.... and you know how he believes. So he does things in his own way. But SELICHOT Service is different. Selichot Service comes at midnight, 'for The Gates of Heaven open widest upon the darkest hour.' That's what they say.

If you've been with us for a while, you remember what happened last year. You remember the JERUSALEM that wasn't Jerusalem. Not our Jerusalem anyway. Some say we slipped into a parallel universe. Doctor Franklin believes that. And me, I grew up in a family of teachers. We watched Carl Sagan's Cosmos every time they showed it. Nova too. But I don't know. It's funny being a vampire, because we live with the reality of the paranormal.  Magic is like cornflakes and baked beans. It's 'there.' It just is. This isn't a disease. Believe me. We've looked. There ain't no microbe. Dr. Julia Hoffman was barkin' up the wrong tree. No antibiotic gonna cure her Barnabas. So I don't know what happened last year. Maybe the French Knight is still there? Maybe the little Armenian Orthodox cleric is still there?...... You know, that makes me think..... We haven't heard from Zebulon in a while. He's my favorite. Of all the disembodied spirits who flit through our lives, I like him best. Over two thousand years dead. He was thirteen when it happened.... and he still hasn't lost his sense of humor.

But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get dressed, fix my hair and go with him. I'm gonna go to that service. 

Vampires deserve a little spiritual comfort too.. I mean, look at our group. We're good...mostly. 'Cull the wicked. Preserve the worthy'--- that's what we say.

You know how the service begins? You know how the prayer goes? Tomas told me. It's like a little child, could be a boy.... could be a girl.... sitting down, giving a hairbrush to a parent and asking them to please undo the tangles.  The tangles are sins. The tangles  are bad things, thoughtless things we've done  to others. The tangles get in The Way...... And if we ask with a pure, childlike innocence, GOD will remove each and every one.

I gotta do something with Annie. Every once in a while she acts a little better, but this isn't right. And Edith shouldn't eat those pancakes all alone each time. 

I gotta do something. I just have to.

Let me tell you.... being a vampire is a very complicated thing..... 

Now let me go get dressed.

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TOMAS OBSERVES HUMANITY AND SHARES A BIT OF LA CIENCIA VAMPIRISMO

Do you know that during the Crusades captured vampires, mostly pathetic, little elferino-vampirinos, accompanied knights to The Holy Land? It is true. They used their blood to heal wounds. For the mounted warriors of the upper class suffered such grievous injuries. Few would have survived at all without life-eater assistance. 

They kept them as pets, safely locked in stout, leaden cages. The bars were more like wide, flat blades. Vampires cannot sublimate through lead. Everyone knows that. But these slim little 'beasties' were pampered...fed blood from the finest vessels. Sleek, fit mortals, I mean. They rarely take enough to cause death. Even say 'thank you' when it's all done. Some say Britain's Arthur was one..... an elferino-vampirino, I mean. That's how he managed to pull the sword from the stone. Please, be reasonable. Do you think a normal, young boy could do that? It's all there in The book... in LA CIENCIA VAMPIRISMO.

And do you know that book never ends. It's like a key into the Akoshic Records. The more you read, the more there is. Pages continue appearing. Yet the Book never contains more than one thousand, for those near the source disappear. Look, if you've scrolled fore and aft through 'digital' script you know what I mean. I don't know which pages remain once it is closed. That, I cannot tell you. 

I like sitting here. A 'familiar' owns the place. It overlooks the square, Washington Square. And the fourth floor is just right. I sit out on the balcony, obscured in shadow, watching the late night wanderers  down below. 

The 'Crazy Lady' isn't crazy. She talks to a dead sister. And believe me, the 'dead' one never shuts up. Shhhhh, they're out there right now, seated on a bench right by the monument. A few strange ghosts ripple by, but they don't care. Except for the spirit of little 'Runty.' He's a terrier, killed by 'Johnny Shot' (like grenade shrapnel) at the Battle of German Town. Got himself buried with what they thought was the right captain. But it wasn't HIS captain. So he runs around yapping for him every night. It's true. Spiritually attuned neighbors complain about the noise. But they don't know the puppy is dead. Two 'goth' girls often come through after work. They're massage artists, I think. He likes them, because they can see him. They pass their hands through the ether of his body. It calms him. He enjoys the warmth. 

I cannot wait for autumn..... real autumn. Short days. Long nights. We night-folk truly 'live' then. Now that I have known you for a while, I will take you places. I will show you the 'magic' beyond magic...and the 'fear' beyond fear.

Edith says we'll fashion a new playmate. Make a new 'vampire.' None of us want to. But she has seen it...and her magic is strong. 

Who knows? Perhaps (if you abide in the central districts of this vast, old city) it will be you. Philadelphia after dark is a grand place. Cobbled lanes lead toward secrets yet untold. 

Now, if you would be so good as to excuse me, I must hurry to an appointment with a most elusive specter in the top-most tier of The Walnut Street Theater. It's the oldest, continuously operating playhouse in the English speaking world..... and that includes London. So, please, I must be off. Actors can be so, so vain....

Oh, if you think the new vampire should be you, leave a comment, for we're quite willing to review applications.....

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YOU TOO CAN THROW MAGIC AROUND LIKE A CHAMP!

Hi, how ya doin'? This is Edith, the Jersey Pines, 'pow-wow' witchy lady. I know we talk about special talents and abilities every once in a while, but some of  you may not have any. So now I'm gonna tell you...... You do. Everybody does. Animals like dogs got some too. Only I really don't know what they do with it.

And please don't rush out buyin' a lot a Halloween lookin' crap... No wands.... No crystal balls.... No dried up monkey's hand (unless you need it for like a recipe or something). 'That' stuff is for illusionists.... and we ain't that. OK, some DO use a prop, but only to help them focus. Actually, you can stare at whatever's around...the vacuum in the corner..... a crack up on the ceiling....... a chair....a picture...... a piss stain on the rug. A lot a people use the television. They turn down the sound and concentrate on the image. Old, black and white movies and TV shows work best. I've heard stories that say it's because the people you're lookin' at are dead. But I don't know. The kid stars ain't, not yet, anyway.

Then all you gotta  do is visualize what you want to happen. By that  I mean you can manipulate things that already exist. But you can't create no new stuff. Only toy companies, factories and fertility labs can do that.

Say you want money. Then you focus on 'lucky opportunities'..... Feel the fortune..... Taste the happiness..... Savor the power.... Make like it's already happened..... Make like it's a done deal.... Hold 'it' in your hand.

The Lucky Opportunity thing  works for lots a stuff. It's a biggie. I'm gonna put up a symbol right now ~~~ (o)(o) OK, you got it? Now stare at it.... Really stare at it. It knows what you want. It wants to help. And it's not evil. Look, you can add any other prayer you want. Something from C.C.D.. Something from Hebrew School, or Sunday School... Anything. But keep looking at the (o)(o) ... And FOCUS...Feel it... No, do it. Really do it. 

I'm getting some stuff right now. Somebody wants good results from a medical test. Somebody wants their future mother-in-law to like them. Somebody wants the plumbing in the bathroom to last til they can pay for new stuff. Somebody wants the roof not to leak........ Somebody wants to dream about a dear departed...... Somebody wants to move away real bad.

So do it. Concentrate. Focus. Lose yourself in the (o)(o) ..... If you like, hold some keys in your hand. Keys unlock things so the imagery might help. 

It's all just a question of tappin' into forces. Scientists say even a vacuum (not like a Hoover... a real one) is full a energy. The whole universe throbs with an unseen, potent potentiality. And in an infinite omniverse... everything is possible.

Step right up and try it. You just might be a winner.

That's all I'm gonna share tonight. They got Jack Benny reruns on 'Antenna.'

It's quiet now. The vampires are still out. So I can eat my Doritos and relax.

Lemme know what happens. COMMENT us.

Inquiring minds want to know.....

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