Magic, Then The hunt Room THE VAMPIRE REVELS 2/2/13

They slept soundly during the light-time. A ghost walked through their quarters, but only Annie saw him. He stopped and bent down to study her. You know, she curls up like a rolly-polly, like a sow bug. And she snores. Most night-folk don't do that. They compose themselves into a relaxed position and close their eyes. Breathing is just a habit, you know. Oxygen does nothing for them. One vampire, I think he's from Canada, says they're just puppets made from embalmed flesh. They met him on the dance floor. Lives out west. They call him The Midnight Mounty. Wears a black uniform. Not red. Nice hat, though. Looks a little bit like Billy Jack.

Tomas don't hold with that meat puppet thing. I mean, look at all the variation. Some got religion. Some kill children. Some are basically psycho maniacs. Others are bashful. Go browse through our early episodes. We told you 'bout bashful ones. 

When Annie saw that spirit thing, she just laid there lookin'. She goes - Who the hell are you, you God damned bastid? ..... So she sat up, passing through the night-fiend's nebulous body.  you know, the totality of a ghost's life rests in the 'body.' You can see the whole thing. It's like snoopin' through an attic. Annie saw him robbin' coaches, ravishing maidens, stealing pocket watches. Well, they were all pocket watches back then, but you know what I mean. Then she saw when they cut off his head. No fancy machine. With an ax and a block they did it. Took three chops. You know, if the family pays the headsman, he'll use a sharper ax. But this guy didn't have any money left and he didn't have no family. Ran away from a poorhouse. Slept in dirty inns. They knew he was a thief.  Thieves tip real good. Wenches loved him. That's what they called waitresses back then. Guess waiters were called 'wenchoes,' or something like that. Don't ask me. I don't know too much 'bout old English. I died in Bolivia. Don't even speak much Spanish. Quechua, that's what I talk. You know them ancient Incans? Yeah, well, hi ya. Now you know one. Got my head bashed in with a gilded, ceremonial club. Emperor liked the way I cooked llama. So I got an invite I couldn't refuse when he went to see Inti Ra. I'm thinkin' in Quechua right now. But whoever's in charge over here got like a universal translator. We talk mind to mind. That's all I know. Miss that coa-ca, though. Say we don't need it over here.... Bunch a lyin' bastards.

Highwayman-ghost flinched when Annie went in him. It hurt him and she knew it. Nobody ever came that close before. He jumped back. She said - Saw-ry.... But she didn't mean it. So he turned around and went to scare Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Yeah, they were here too. She got like this meditation-calm-youself-down thing for kids that she does. Think her agent got her the invite. Gotta find a recently dead agent over on this side. He'll know.

'King' Rafe had a big show planned. Been rehearsin' for weeks. Tongueless functionaries had a sit around and be like an audience. He can sublimate real good...pass right through anything, even rocks. They got stories 'bout a vampire hero-guy. Lived in Babylonia, or maybe it was Arizona? I don't know. Say he sublimated right down to the center of the Earth. But how they know he not go down in a cave and hide for a long time?

Show got a big snake. Call it a mega-python. Come from the Amazon. Not too far from where I was, actually. Forty feet long. Maybe fifty. Real fat.... I mean REAL fat. Could swallow like the biggest fat-ass in the world and not even feel it. Don't even need no lard smeared on it or nothing. Did this thing where he lay down on the stones. Make hisself real stiff. Legs out straight. Hands to his sides. Then he say somethin' and the huge, gunmetal 'worm' slides out a the shadows. Few a the mortals got scared. Some a the new vampires too, even Sarah. One human lady from Chicago ran out. She was crying and everything. Kept babblin' that she couldn't stand that stuff, 'cause a dingo once ate her baby. I think she a liar. I think she just had a go pee.Vampires don't like when humans run out to pee all the time, so you gotta have a good excuse. They like real strict school teachers or somethin'.

Snake open its mouth real wide. Slide up over his legs ('King' Rafe, I mean). Slide up over his hips. Oh, did I say that he was naked? Well, he was. Vampires are weird like that. Everything with them is a big show. 'Look at me. It's a big show! Look what I can do!'..... He call this trick 'The Living Coffin.' Make like snake can't take him all in. Make like it gettin' tight. But it ain't. Then, when only his head stickin' out, he says somethin' in Vahmperigo. That's old time vampire talk. But it is not like the Vahmperigo Tomas knows. Rafe talk Northwestern Vahmperigo. Got Dutch words in it. Got French words. Anglo-Saxon words in it. Think some of it is Pig-Latin too. 

People start clappin' when his head disappears. Then snake just close it's mouth and wind itself up.  Band playin' somethin' from Carmen...slow and sultry. Functionaries slip through the crowd handin' out little aroma candles. You know, a big snake stinks real bad. 

People get up, go over and poke at the thing. They say - Yeah, he in there. One lady, I think she like a braver human lady, jab it three times. Then she go - I just touch his butt.

Lights go down real low. Candles dim. Folks get real quiet. Even vampire folks. Some a them got lots a special talents too, but they still like a good show. Only not ventriloquists. They don't like no ventriloquists, 'cause the tongue gets stuck on the eye teeth and they can't see what they sayin'.... That's the vampires, I mean.

Ten heartbeats later this chanting noise come out a the walls. Like shamans. Like druids. Gets deeper, til the whole hall vibratin'. You can feel it in your chest. You can feel it in your stomach, if you was there, I mean.

Finally snake hiss real loud. All the chanting stops. Silence. Snake open it's mouth. Pan pipe music come out. Two heartbeats later this satyr fella squeeze out. He the one playin' the music. He look like Mister Numb-Nuts in that Narnia movie. Got goat feet. Got goat legs. Got this cute, little tail... cute little horns. Not like devil horns. These cute ones. Then a bull come out..... a white one, with black shiny horns. Five Barbary Apes run out, all screechin' and hollerin'. Real big ones too. Whole bunch a other mythological crap fly out a that snake..... a Medusa....  two real little old fat guys ridin' tricycles. Got bells and everything. Marilyn Monroe climbs out (she almost trip)...Ed Sullivan climbs out. Finally John Lennon come out, but not Yoko. She not wit' him. 

All them mythological bastards start singin' 'Imagine.' All what squeezed out a that snake start holdin' hands and dancin' 'round in a circle.... faster... faster and faster. And circle get tighter and tighter and tighter, til it like a room-size. colorful tornado... Then fast Beatle song come outa them stone walls. It go - Little, little be a gypsy, get  around. Little, little get around. Be a gypsy get around..... Then BOOM!... Just a big BOOM! Tornado gone and all them creatures wit' it. Snake rise up high over the crowd, like a giant cobra. Hiss real loud. Snap it's head down real fast, like it want a eat somebody. Folks scream. Even vampire folk. Then rain come down.... black, shiny rain. Snake meltin'. And when it all gone..when floor covered in three inches a melted snake water, 'King' Rafe rise up from the middle, all gold, like Greek God, Hermes, wit' little feet wings and everything. 

Stone walls start singin' ('nother Beatle song) And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love, you make...

He rotates 'round, bows to the crowd and returns to his throne. Thunderous applause from all in attendance, lasting for ninety eight heartbeats at least.

When they stop, people look down to find, small, gold, Hermes statues on the tables in front of each and every one of them. Later on, there were Hermes scarves and leather goods too. One a the vampires got ties in France.

Needless to say, the act was a success. Some human guy from Nevada, Steve Wynn, I think, wanna book it in his hotel.

A few minutes later, they broke up for the Bilderburg style discussions. Was gonna tell you 'bout that now, but ancient Incan spirits get tired. And I wanna go listen to some Ima Sumac records.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Long one tonight. Didn't wanna leave no part out. You know we only pretend this is fiction... Could you maybe tweet --- I nominate @wilkravitz for a #BLOGGER SHORTY AWARD based on his narratives and stories.......g'night.

If You Remember Who They Are THE VAMPIRE REVELS 2/1/13

The death of the scared, little cattle-boy seeped into the ether. They all felt it. Some of the night-folk are truly telepathic. They pick it up immediately. Others  gradually inhale tiny particles of the event, like snakes tasting the atmosphere. Those humans in attendance exhibit a wide range of abilities. Some knew and were afraid, but most just felt unsure.

Now, 'King' Rafe dotes on mortals. He values them. They entertain him, like neon tetras in an aquarium. No, more like lobsters in a tank at some nautical themed seafood restaurant. So he wants them to be happy. Besides, invited guests are never on the menu. Not around here. And in an effort to preserve the equanimity of the event, gifts were dispensed. A few got top of the line Jaguars. Others twelve month gift certificates with the courtesan or gigolo of their choice. They have catalogs for these things, rather like luxury real estate publications, in Europe, don't you know? Two or three received certified checks for five million dollars. And a tiny bit later, the word 'round the palace was 'what little, cattle-boy?'

But Tomas went down to the scene of his passing and recited the service for the dead. Then he wiped up some of the human grease smeared on the stone floor (the functionaries always miss something) , folded the cloth and buried it out beyond the walls, 'neath an old oak tree. Did he hear the quiet wails of the rest of them? Of course he did. But he could not see them. And he did not look, though he prayed their passing would be easy.

There were other reverent vampirinos and vampirinas there. Not all lose their faith. Some cling to it even more. He saw a thin woman from Hungary and another couple from Brazil. Were there others? Probably, but those three stood out. Sarah noticed too. Baylah feigned indifference. Not because she didn't care, but because she did.  Perhaps they'd speak tomorrow evening?

So Tomas and Sarah danced another Stompanada and drank some cherry vodka. Annie and Larry stole a bit of human food from off the buffet. She liked the canolis, even though she barfed them up soon after. Larry downed some gravlax, but he scrunched his nose and spit up on the rug. One of the au natural, tongueless functionaries impatiently waved him off, before kneeling down to scrub the mess away. If you want to know, they use dog piss cleaner. Curious vampires often try the fare. And a much esteemed human guest (possessed of a line of home care products) provides it by the case.

Tomorrow night they break up into 'tables.' Mixed groups of night-folk and mortals meet to discuss various world problems and conundrums.  These get togethers are spread throughout the house.  And considering there are more than twelve dozen rooms, disturbances will be few. The head of each party accepted an envelope upon exiting the first night's dance. Tomas passed it to Baylah, since she was most curious...... 'The Hunt Room,' she said. And so the hunt room it would be. Sixteen hours hence, after an 'amazing' (and hopefully entertaining) display of 'King' Rafe's miraculous prowess (a second night tradition) they'd meet their tablemates and begin to talk.....

As they returned to their rooms, the headless harpist still played...Claire de Lune, I believe..

Her repertoire had no end....

I wonder how she heard it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
thank you for these precious heartbeats of your time....please nominate me for a SHORTY AWARD. just tweet this ~~> I nominate #BLOGGER @wilkravitz for a SHORTY AWARD based on his narratives and stories......

What 'King' Rafe Does... THE VAMPIRE REVELS 1/31/13

I'm not gonna tell you who I am. You don't gotta know. I have narrated a lotta books. But some bitch who writes a big series don't like me and she got a well known 'medium' to shove some proverbial 'hot peppers' up my ass over here on the other side, so now I keep my mouth shut. Call me whatever you want. I do not care. But I'm gonna tell you what I want to tell you anyway.....

This is still about the first big reception. At 'King' Rafe's, I mean. He's crazy. Even for an old vampire, he's crazy. Just sits on his throne... makes little finger waves at people.... Sometimes he makes these fart noises with his mouth..... Sometimes he stands up, turns around, rearranges whatever he's wearin' and moons everybody. I like this thing he does where he lays there like a reeking corpse with great clumps of slimy, squirming earth worms fallin' out of his mouth. They crawl all over his clothes and legs and everything, til they get down on the floor. Then they turn into all kinds a fancy bracelets... emeralds.... diamonds.... blood opals..... Vampirinas and vamperinos scoop 'em up like pop-beads at a Mardi Gras booby-flashin' party. 

Sometimes he makes the headless musicians wander through the dancers, serenading the best. People pretend they like it. Nobody wants to offend 'King' Rafe. But he knows how they really feel. What's he care? I think he's the oldest vampire at this thing. A lot of the truly ancient ones never show up....not here.... not anywhere. Because, look, what are they gonna get out of it? The one them Philadelphia life-eaters call 'Papa' don't come. You think he needs 'magic?' You think he needs 'spells?' Spells are just a bunch a crap. Them what can do real magic just think. They give a look (or don't even give a look) and whoop! there it is! Who they think listen to them poems anyway? Magic words! Let 'em all go to hell.

One a the big humans had a heart attack. I think it was some politician. Not nobody you vote for. They don't come to these things. We get the ones them what gets voted in picks, like for special jobs, or liaisons to foreign countries, or business people what got billions a dollars and want everybody to love 'em. This one was one a them. Wandered down to the dungeons and saw some a them cattle-people. Just stood there, froze to the spot. Functionaries seen it. They got him outta there real fast. But he seen it. He seen it. One lone wolf type vampire who don't like a eat with them others, chewin' on a cryin' little white boy. Think he was white. I don't know. Just tell you in case details important, or something... Little white boy bleedin'... beggin'.... They supposed a give 'em somethin' a make it quiet-like. But don't always work with all of 'em. Blood drippin' down his neck...his belly... He blubberin'... hiccupin'..... You know how children get..... Lone wold type strokin' him...shushin' him..... brushin' his hair back.... lickin' his face..... It was pathetic. This was a 'noxious' vampire, a real 'noxious' one. I can guarantee you that. And that human guy saw the little boy die.

Functionaries bundle him back upstairs. But he can't go back to the party. No, they can't let him do that. Sure them humans know how night-folks eat. But seein' actors do it on TV is a lot different than seein' genuine teeth rip into genuine flesh... 'specially juvenile flesh. Some go through two or three at a time... Not all, but some.

Put the political guy in a 'mummy case.' It is not a real mummy case. Them vampires just call it that. It like a preservation box, so they can play with him whenever they want.  Use him for 'games' later. You know, like for the 'after party.' Revels got a lotta after parties.

But now he layin' there. Can't move. Can't do nothin'. But he can breathe. It like a thick egg shell. Air get in somehow. He cryin'. Oh, he cryin'. But inside surface a the case just suck it all up. Looks like a funny bowling pin, only wit' a punier head. Got a tick in there wit' him. That part was an accident. Trouble is case keep tick alive too. 

Vampires are OK. Some can be mostly nice. But even so.... they still vampires....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
please tell others about us. no, please...please... we really mean it. and if you're willing to help, could you maybe nominate me for a SHORTY AWARD? Just tweet this ~~~> I nominate #BLOGGER @wilkravitz for a SHORTY AWARD based on his stories and narratives ........ what? you want some supermarket coupon, 'mommy' blog to win, or some phony bastid 'celebrity' to swoop down three or four nights before closing and get they cattle are riled up?.... please... help me....please help me.....

LMAO with wendy (liebman)!: MY NOSE

LMAO with wendy (liebman)!: MY NOSE: Every three months for about a year I have felt this tingling at the tip of my nose. It lasts for about two days each time and then stops. ... Sometimes we all get little health scares. Maybe it's time to act...

Annie Tells More. Others Do Too..THE VAMPIRE REVELS 1/30/13

It's still me. It's Annie. And I'm still lookin' around this place with Larry. He's that other vampirino-kid dressed like a gay pilgrim, or something. I know. I know. I know. He's Little Lord Fauntleroy. Does that mean Little God Fauntleroy? 'Cause I don't think God would dress his kid like this. But Larry was OK, so I didn't talk about his outfit, or nothin',

I asked him if he was down in the dungeons with the rest of 'em when they killed the cattle-people. He said he was. I asked him what it tasted like. He knows I only been a vampirina for like two years, so he talked about mortal people's food. He said - You ever eat chopped steak, or chopped sirloin, or whatever it is?..... I said - Yeah, I remember that. We got it at a diner a couple times with onions and gravy. Sometimes the guy didn't cook it too good and the inside was all pink and fleshy. ..... Larry said the cattle-people were like that, 'cause they were so scared and sweaty. Real hot too. .... I said - Oh..... You know, I killed plenty a people. They tasted salty too. Once a big fat guy, I think he was diabetic, fell on the cement and started shakin'. He was eatin' a big Hersey bar. Sarah was bringin' me home from Gap Kids. They were open real late 'cause a Christmas and all. Guy was twitchin' and everything. I was hungry. Sarah knew I wanted to eat. And he must a been a real bastid, 'cause she said 'yeah.' So we rolled him in an alley and I did....Now, what did I want to tell you?.... Oh, yeah. He had a real sweet taste mixed with the salt taste, like a chocolate covered pretzel. He was good. That fat guy was real good. But he was still a bastid. Sarah said he was a numbers writer. Not just a plain one. Not just like an assistant numbers writer. He was a boss. He had like a zillion regular numbers writers workin' for him and sometimes he would get like a helper to punch some scared, old man right in his stomach, or even like in his doo-dads. And I know you can't do that to a kid, even a vampirino kid. So I can imagine what it's like if you do it to somebody's pop-pop.

Larry and I watched this lady. She was dressed like an old fashioned clown, with a big, crazy dress, all poofy, with decorations and a big clown thing around her neck. Her face had all this white paint on it, like a clown, with red lips. Just lookin' at her made me sick. If I had a whole lot a blood in my stomach, I'd a throwed up. Baylah came by with a big monkey sittin' on her back. Not her lady-back, her horse-back. I think it might a been a vampire monkey. You know, some night-folk think it's funny to do that to monkeys and gorillas and all. But we said 'hi' to it and it waved, so It was OK. I asked Baylah what kind of clown the lady was. She laughed and told us the lady wasn't no clown. She was supposed to be a queen. She was supposed to be Queen Elizabeth. N ow I seen a lady called Queen Elizabeth on TV once, but she didn't look like no clown. She looked like somebody's real old mom-mom. So I was all confused. 

One a the 'au natural' weird, naked people with their tongues ripped out offered me some kind a drink in a little, skinny glass what got a real thick bottom. It was one a them whiskey drinks. Tomas and Sarah couldn't see. They were far away talkin' to a guy from some foreign place. I don't know. He was just a regular mortal. I know, 'cause earlier, when I went passed him, he smelled like salami. So I took the drink. Larry took two of 'em. You know, vampires can drink whiskey drinks. Some vampires can drink a lot a whiskey drinks. It tasted like old wood with little knives in it. Larry laughed. I laughed too. Then we went to play with the big dog what got a face like people. I pulled its tail. But the dog with a people face didn't like it, 'cause he turned around and told me to go to hell.

See, if this was really a wedding, like a regular people wedding, this is where the mom would take the little girl (me) and rock her on her lap so she could rest a little. Some other lady, like an aunt, or a grown-up cousin would come over and brush a sweaty piece a my hair back. She'd smile at me and tell the mom one how adorable I am. 

But this ain't no real wedding and nobody did that.

Sarah's nice to me. Tomas is too. They yell sometimes, 'cause I can be a real, little bitch. Not so much anymore. But I used to bite a lot a toes off. I still think they love me... I guess... But nobody came over to rock me, or see where I was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
please nominate me for a SHORTY AWARD..... Just tweet this ~~~> I nominate #BLOGGER @wilkravitz for a SHORTY AWARD based on his many narratives and stories......Thank you.... and as always, your COMMENTS are very much appreciated.

This Is What's Out There THE VAMPIRE REVELS 1/29/13

I don't get a chance to come through much, but it's me. It's Annie. So you better listen, or I'll bite your toes off. And I like them crunchy, little toe bones. You know it. 

They announced us. We had to line up. 
Them naked, tongueless bastids went up and down givin' everybody little glasses of real cold vodka. Sarah didn't want me to take one, but another vampire kid (I think his name is Larry) took one, so I did too. Tomas gave me a look. Edith tried to grab it from me, but I pinched her real hard and she left me have it. That 'Larry' was dressed like Little Lord Fauntleroy. Looked like a girl outfit to me. Tomas told me what it was. I said - who am I again?... Sarah said - Puck, a magical forest creature from stories. My favorite stories are Berenstain Bears and real old copies of Confidential Magazine. Don't look at me like that. It helps with my reading.

The hall where we waited was real nice, like what a king, or Steven Spielberg, or maybe one a the Kardashians would have. Had this gray stone floor, but with a long rug runnin' down it. Tomas said it came from a Moorish palace near where he used to live. He looked at it and looked at it. I thought he was gonna cry, but he didn't. The vampires in front of us were from France.... the REAL France. I never knew there was a real France. I thought French people were just in stories, or like poodles, or something. They didn't look at us much, just smoked and messed with their clothes. He was Jean Val Jean, from Les Miserables. She was Baby June from Gypsy. I didn't know that. Edith did. She told me. 

Don't ask me who said the names. I think it just came out a the walls. wilkravitz thought it might be a ghost. But I can smell ghost stink and this didn't have it. Maybe it was a real rich ghost? The first vampires to go in glided down to the throne where 'King' Rafe sat. They said like - Hi, how you doin'? Nice to see you..... Think they kissed his ring. Then they took seats along the wall. Band stopped playing that Carousel music (Edith told me) and switched to Handel's Messiah. That I knew from Christmas shows on television. I like Christmas. Tomas does Hanukah, but that's OK, 'cause he gives me presents too and that's the main thing.

Some of the other vampires had regular human beans with 'em. They were all dressed up to, but you could tell, because they smell like salami. At least to me they do. But nobody tried to eat 'em, or do funny stuff to them, 'cause they were real rich and important. Sarah said they ate in that buffet room. I'd eat in there too, if they'd let me. I don't care if I throw it up later. I like the way some a that stuff tastes. But throw-up tastes like mustard mixed with whiskey. And after that, I really, really, really have to bite somebody.

The best one I saw was this lady. She was all nude. Tomas says ladies are nude. Men are naked. you can tell he was born somewhere's else, 'cause American people wouldn't care. Her hair was real nice, though, all long and wavy. Sarah said she was Eve. And the fat, little baby she carried was Cain. The way she was holding him, he was always kissin' one a her boobies. Real wet kisses too. But, ewww, he wasn't no baby, not even a 'cherub' baby. ' 'Cause his face was all weird. No eyes. No nose. No ears. No nothin'. Just a mouth. I don't know where the hell they got him. But a whole lot a the other ones thought that 'Eve' lady was real fancy, because they kept bowin' to her. But not before 'King' Rafe. Him they bowed to first. 

When it was our turn, the voice that might a been a ghost voice said - El Gran Hidalgo de Andalucia, Don Tomas de Macabea and Consort, Donna Sarah. At first I didn't see Baylah, 'cause she wasn't with us. She was still gettin' ready. But then she comes over, in that long hall, I mean. And she was beautiful. A centaurina. She was a centaurina, a horse lady... a pony girl. No clothes. No costume. Nothing fake like that. This was magic. She did it with magic. I could never do it. Sometimes I can, but I make mistakes a lot. But she can. Baylah knows how. They say she even knew in Africa. She was a Princess. Not like a Disney one, or them English ones who can't chop off no heads, or nothin'. She was a real one. A Princess of  Timbuctu. Think she even had like a cheetah. Look, I don't know if she ever cut nobody's head off, but she could of....... Edith was introduced as 'The Esteemed Edith of The Pines' and wilkravitz was called 'The Esteemed William of Philadelphia.' That's  how they do when mortal people go in. ... They called Baylah something like 'Grand Bat-Malik' and then they said 'Baylah.' She clip-clopped in real dainty, just like a lady who is also a horse. And she had flowers in her tail and flowers in her hair and a little belt a flowers 'round her waist, where the pony part started.  When it was my turn, the ghost guy said 'The Honorable Miss Ann Marie.'..... I never knew my middle name was Marie. But it sounded real nice. And it made me feel real good.

But I still didn't know what my last name was....

Later, when everyone was dancing, I ran around with Larry, pinchin' people's asses. But I liked when they did The Stompanada. Sparks jumped up off the floor and everything. The ones that were bare foot put on these special, little dancin' shoes with metal heels and soles. They were gonna give me a pair, but I was embarrassed. I said - That's OK. I'll watch... And Larry watched with me. Baylah didn't need no special shoes. Her horse shoes were good enough. And she danced twice as good, 'cause she had four feet instead a two...

Doves flew around (I almost caught one). Cherubs darted in and out a the crowd, givin' people real fast kisses with their sharp, pointy tongues.

It was like a real party. It was like a wedding. And it was nice. It was real nice... And I felt special just for being there...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
please nominate me for a SHORTY AWARD... Tweet ---I nominate #BLOGGER @wilkravitz for a SHORTY AWARD based on his stories and narratives....thank you.

Supper Time THE VAMPIRE REVELS 1/28/13

Of course you understand the Philadelphia contingent is a very moral group. Not because they're from Philadelphia. It has to do with Tomas...... Tomas de Macabea, also known as Jonathon ben Macabi, a one thousand year old life eater sealed within his eighteen year old body..... So you know how good he looks in that fourteenth century Romeo outfit..... More like a naughty Romeo actually. Annie says he looks cute. She's a fresh kid. what could she be now, eight? Maybe eight tops. Only been a vampirina for eighteen months. And let me tell you, THAT was a big mistake. But I digress.  Mister Never-You-Mind ain't here tonight. Think he's at a jazz club in London. He likes jazz. Whispers in people's ears. The musicians, I mean. Talks scat talk. Makes 'em go fast. Makes 'em go slow. But they don't know it's him. Think they all geniuses or something. 

Tonight you got Zebulon, the thirteen year old disembodied spirit who got stoned to death two thousand years ago. But I ain't angry. If I was just dead, layin' in a box I might be angry, but this 'after-life' thing they got going on is all right. I see people gettin' dressed and everything. I see a lot a really good stuff too, like what's going on down in the dungeons. 

They got a big room. Stone floor. Stone walls. No light, just a few torches. All real rough and old. Think they used to rip the guts outta Scottish kilt guys in there. Ripped the guts outta lot a people. But tonight they're just killin' 'em. Drugged all the human beans. Put some powdery crap in the gruel. Call it gruel here, but I seen the cans. It's just Hormel beef stew. Like dog food for cattle-people. They eat it like zombies. Give 'em wooden spoons...old clay bowls. Just shovel it in, hunched over, silent. All a them wearin' 'birthday' suits.

Somebody drowns the lights. Must be magic, 'cause they ain't 'lectric like folks got now. Cattle-people moan a little, real quiet. They 're ascared a the dark. guess it comes from being locked up with vampires all around. 

Five heartbeats later, torches all lit again. Don't look no different. Bunch a naked people eatin' canned stew. Must be cold sittin' with their bare butts on them stones, but they don't know. The just eat. They don't see. Or they pretend not to see. Lot more people in there than there was before. But the new ones ain't eatin'. They're just sittin'. They're just lookin'. They CAN see. 

One of 'em gets up and goes over to a fat man. Squeezes in between the fat man and a stringy haired woman with a goiter. Don't see many a them these days. That's where one side a her neck look like she growin' another tittie, 'cept it ain't got no nipple on it. I know. I know. Thirteen year old disembodied spirit shouldn't talk like this. But I seen too much stuff all these years. What are you gonna do, kill me? 

'Fat Neck' got bulgy eyes too. It's mostly dark in there. Orange flickers all they got. She try pressin' close to some other lady. But other lady like a professional crazy woman. She wants a scrunch away, 'cept there ain't no room. So she just go 'Eww! Eww! and bats at her with her hands.

'Fat Neck' starts cryin'. Not really cryin'...keening like peasant women did at old time funerals. New naked one pressin' in on her leans closer. She sees he got teeth. Vampire teeth, I mean. She goes - No. No. No. But that powder stuff makes them all weak-like. She can't hardly talk. Then the new naked guy sticks his fangs up against her skin and bites down. Bottom teeth cut in too. She's floppin' around like a fish, tryin' to get away. but she's not goin' no where. Vampire guy bites out a chunk a flesh. Spits it out on the stone floor. Some vampires would just masticate it to get all the blood and then spit it out. But he don't do that. Got a be circulating blood, fresh blood. That's what he wants. 

'Fat Neck' disfigured real bad. Goiter ain't nothin' now. Vampire guy hug her all up and down. Sit her on his lap and go to town. He slice his teeth right into a vein. Might be an artery, but I don't know. She goes - Oh! Oh! Oh!. Few heartbeats later, the 'oh's' get real quiet. She twitches for a little bit. Then she dies. Other cattle-people make like they don't see, 'cause they're too scared to admit they do. Few start shittin'.  Some start babblin'. He push her down on the stones. Two heartbeats later, her dead body goes 'poof!' and crackles with a cold, blue flame. That makes 'em all go crazy. Start hollerin' and spittin'. Other naked vampires wake up then too. Start rippin' into folks. Some bite necks. Some bite stomachs. Some bite parts I know you don't want me talkin' 'bout. Blood all over. Cold, blue flames all over. Vampires don't burn, though. Only dead, cattle-folks go poof. 

Five minutes later flames go out. Cattle-folks bodies all gone. Vampires all greasy. Bloody too. Then they look at each other and laugh. One gets up and does a little dance. But he slips and falls in the dead cattle-folks grease smeared all over the floor. Clumsy vampirino smack his ass on them stones and goes - Uh oh!... Other vamperinos and vamperinas laugh some more. Then they get up and file out through the door. One goes - Ouch! I just cut my foot on a sharp piece of bone!..... And then they're gone. Big dungeon room's empty. Tongue-less functionaries shuffle in an' clean up. Rest a the cattle-folk locked up where we can't see, start moanin'. But nobody pays them no mind.

Half hour later them vampires all washed off and fixed up.

Then it's time to dance...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
please nominate me for a SHORTY AWARD. Just tweet this ~~~> I nominate #BLOGGER @wilkravitz for a SHORTY AWARD based on his stories and narratives...... And if you want to see something else that's good, click on this ALEXIOS ... thank you for these heartbeats of your time.