Carson Daly was the first to run with it. Some DJ friend in Philly tipped him off. Two days later he came out with a crew. Not a full crew. Figured he'd get some 'fill ins' once he got here. Met with Marianne. We talk about her. She's one of the elferinas, a female, pubescent vampire with pointy ears and a certain gamine charm. Interviewed her in a bar, the one in THE HOTEL MONACO. And he never, ever knew there were other vampires in the building. That's how discrete they can be when they want to.
She gave him the whole treatment. Showed him the fangs. Offered to bite him. Nothing major. Just a tiny, little nip on his forearm. But he demurred, 'cause he's got kids and all. She told him how old she was and about The Inquisition and all (Google MARIANNE IN BRITCHES by Billy Kravitz for more). Levitated a spoon up off the table. Whispered some stuff in Old Vahmperigo. Made him blush. Showed her pointy ears and said yeah, she knows how much she looks like Cosett (I think that's the right name) that little French girl from the Les Mis juggernaut. Think she said Maroon Five is her favorite group. But that's just because Adam looks so much like Jonathon, only with a haircut. And you know how loyal they all are to him.
He's gonna 'cull' someone tonight. Jonathon, I mean. It's his time of the month. He had a dream. He had a vision. He feels the hunger. It's gotta be done. And this always brings up the old vampiric dilemma. Do they actually have a physical hunger. Do they actually have a physical need, or are they just fulfilling a spiritual purpose? No one knows. Some vampires have survived centuries of captivity without so much as a drop, while others go berserk and die after weeks. Apparently, every soul is unique and the 'burden' rests differently on each and every one of them.
'Cull the wicked. Save the worthy.' That's what they do. So he sits on the roof of a venerable, old South Philadelphia restaurant. Victor Cafe, I think it's called. And he listens to the opera within. Each and every cameriere and cameriera is also a classically trained singer, able to burst into song at a moment's notice. A man in the corner plays arias upon an old, much polished Steinway. The crowd waits for the biggies. Naturally Carmen, or Nessun Dorma brings the house down. Once in a while they sneak in something from West Side Story or Candide, but that's almost opera.... almost.
A man toward the front is almost human too. He's a promoter... a producer, or an executive, or some kind of Hollywood big wig. In town with his daughter. She wants to go to Penn. This is their 'look see.' But she's a bitch and he's a creep and that's why he ain't human. Sits there playing with his osso buco. What a shame some little calf had to get itself all slaughtered so this bastard can eat dinner. You know a twenty four year old girl killed herself over him. nice girl too. Had a script. Real good. Tight story. Everything. Didn't have an agent. Didn't have no 'uncles.' Just sent it to him. And you know that means she's got about as much chance as a ballerina in a gas chamber. Only some kid, an intern, sees it. And he likes it. And he passes it on. Mister Beefy-Tan sees it too. Thumbs through and keeps it. Two weeks later the decorator comes to change the retro grass cloth in his office. His people clean up the place in preparation. Script gets stuffed in an envelope and sent back with one of them 'oh, not without a lawyer, an uncle and an agent you don't' papers. Girl gets it, feels sad for a while, but life goes on.
Yet six months later, some new script is all the rage in West L.A.. Script mags cover it. Web's all over it. Pod cast talks about it. And the twenty four year old sees it. She listens. She recognizes it. She knows it. It's her work. Goes into production. Makes eighty mill. Beefy-Tan guy's nephew wins some kind of award. She tries to get a lawyer. They try to do something. But something ain't enough. They laughed at her. They ridiculed her... patronized her and even her cut-rate lawyer too..... That's it. All done. She's toast... a showbiz joke.
Goes back to substituting. Get's a middle school class. Eighth grade girl 'rapes' a sixth grade boy in the coat room. Boy's mom wants a new Lexus outta all this. Judge gives her one. Girl gets prosecuted for willful neglect. Serves four months house arrest. Reads about upcoming sequel. Pees all over the seat at a seven o'clock showing of Hangover I. Nineteen year old manager kicks her out. All the semi-humans in the lobby see her wet blue jeans and laugh as only semi-humans can. She bursts through the doors, tears through the parking lot, stumbles into the busy street and gets hit by a bus.
Her basically sweet, though culturally baffled parents cry for weeks and one month later her father dies. Two weeks after that, the government puts her mother in a dirty, sour, abusive 'home.'
Beefy-Tan guy's nephew reads about it all in the papers. Writes another script and wins an Oscar. Uncle laughs and laughs and laughs.
But twenty minutes from now, he's gonna leave that restaurant. He's gonna get up from the crisp, white table cloths and the old opera prints on the wall. He's gonna give his daughter five one hundred dollar bills, so she can catch up with a friend and go gambling, with her perfectly undetectable, rich-girl-fake-cards at THE SUGAR HOUSE (a Center City casino on the Delaware) and step outside to meet his fate.
Jonathon feels it all, up atop the roof of this late Victorian townhouse. He leans against the chimney and waits....
For soon the dead twenty four year old gets some sweet revenge.
The night is clear. The wind is sharp. The stars shine coldly down...
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Jonathon quietly arranged for a series of rooms at the new HOTEL MONACO in Center City, a brand new, posh, boutique place familiar with night-folk from other venues. The out-of-town life-eaters slept there. Big rooms. High ceilings. Granite baths. And sumptuously curtained windows able to shut out every photon of troublesome daylight. And I'm not sure, but they say a few merfolk swam up the river to patrol the waterfront. You know, naive, clueless druggies hang out there sometime. A few fall in the river. A couple drown. And the merfolk (two males and a female) want to prevent that. I'm telling you. This is really gonna be something.
Sarah organized the 'bleeders.' They met in the basement of an old church. wilkravitz went with her. He was out of the hospital now. Still a little shaky, but he wanted to help. She let him distribute and collect the tiny, glass vials. Each one held maybe five to ten plump drops of red, rich, potent life-eater blood. They had these little, plastic screw tops to seal them shut. They were old, never used, perfume sample vials, but the night folk couldn't ask for anything better. Afterwards, other life-eaters gave them out, sublimating into semi-private rooms and wards in hospitals, narrow, old row houses on tiny, little side streets and cold, dark, hidey-holes behind big, metal dumpsters.
Sick people drank it down. They knew it came from 'vampires.' Nobody played games anymore. Nobody cared. Sure, a few of the physicians didn't like it, but nobody cared about that either. And people got well, even terminal cases. They sat up, swung their legs over the side, jumped down and went home. The ones in the little row houses already were home. And the pathetic cases behind the dumpsters just wandered around. Later on a few life-eaters caught on to that and fixed it up so they could sleep in a few of the old, colonial manor house-museums in Fairmount Park. Not on the beds. After all, they were antiques. But they gave them these real good, thick sleeping bags, so that made it OK. A few park guards were assigned to each place to keep things quiet and not let them get too rowdy. Rejuvenated women were never kept in the same mansions as the men. Fed 'em all a lot a five dollar, take-out pepperoni pizzas from Little Caesar. What can I tell you? They like that. Some guy who owns a local Coca-Cola bottle plant sends over cold drinks. They say Bill Cosby's a part owner, but I don't know.
Jonathon goes to evening services at the old Spanish Rite, Sephardic Synagogue in Society Hill. He sits in the back, off to the side. The men sit across from the women. If you've ever been in a Quaker meeting house, you know what I mean. He's never made an aliyah (ascend to the scriptures) yet. He's never been called up to read a passage from the Bible, but he doesn't care. Well, maybe he does, but not that much. Sarah said she'd go with him. But he told her she didn't have to, because it's not like they could sit together, or anything. He enjoyed the hymns and cantorials, since they brought him back to similar observances in medieval Al-Andaluz (Spanish Andalucia). At first the rabbi felt funny about having a life-eater there. A lot of the clergy all over the city did. But when Jonathon quietly sat down with him at a post Sabbath service communal hour (he eschewed the sponge cake, but did sip a bit of the coffee) and told him how he was that self-same mythological helpmate, how he was 'the golem,' who helped Rabbi Lowe and others in the ghetto repel the baby-killers all those many years ago, in Old Prague, that made it all OK. Then he was a hero.
And the city improved. Not the gentrified areas. They were already top notch. But the badlands, the ruffie-tuffie places got a little better. Pushers gave up the corners. They had to, what with all the 'vampires' and all. You know, life-eater blood cures addicts too.
Doctor Franklin and some scientists from his sprawling bureau under the navy yard came up to observe things. Luna, his attractive 'vampire' assistant and a physician in her own right, came with them. Sarah doesn't like her. She doesn't like her at all, 'cause Jonathon used to cheat with her. But they don't see her much.
Most nights, just before dawn, a group of life-eaters meet at Baylah's place. They gather 'round the piano in the little jewel-box bar and sing songs. 'Vampire' voices have a certain, satisfying resonance. One of the favorites is 'We'll Meet Again. Don't know where. Don't know when. But I know we'll meet again some sunny day....... Yeah, right. Like that's gonna happen.
Oh, and Johnny Jump Up is still out there, only he seems scared to come out too.
And Little Bastid Annie (our hard to handle child vampire) goes 'round to half-way houses late at night selling Girl Scout cookies. I think she's a Brownie now, or maybe part of the older group. I don't know. Looks mighty weird in that uniform though.
The life-eaters still feed, but they all follow 'the law.' They all stick to the old lunar schedule. One 'culling' per month. And they only take out the people sent to them in visions. I think Jonathon's gonna 'cull' somebody tomorrow night. Come back.
Maybe he'll show you...
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'We are all responsible.'..... That's what he said. He didn't yell, or raise his voice. He just stood up, walked down to the front and said it. They had a good turn out. All the Philadelphia night-folk were there... the vampires, the elferinos (actually pubescent vampires), a few 'manipulators.' You know, they really don't like to be called witches, or warlocks, or necromancers, or wizards. They're manipulators. They know how to change things. A few people from the press are here too, mostly hip, young, Center City types who write for entertainment-leisure weeklies. I don't know if they're gonna print or post anything right away, but they sure got big eyes and they're sure looking around a lot.
After he said 'We are all responsible,' Jonathon went on, reminding them how (most) vampires were revered personages prior to the Crusades and the subsequent Inquisitions. They served princes. They served courts. They served clergy. True, a few were no more than well placed, supernaturally equipped spies. But most took their calling seriously, as members of the 'demi-angelic' host. 'Cull the wicked. Save the worthy.' That's the credo. That's the way. And a small group of vampires from out of town, sitting together down toward the back, politely clapped when he said it.
Let me tell you where this happened. You know that 'nice' cafe they got upstairs at the Art Museum, the one with the crisp, clean tables and chairs and the well framed pictures on the walls? That's where. A few of the directors and curators were there. Two or three of them (social types) knew some of the night-folk from that ten thousand dollar a seat (for charity) house party thing Marianne sponsored a while back. Though none of them sat together. Uniformed guards drank coffee. Real cops stood around with their arms crossed, chewing gum and all. You know that (well practiced) tough, 'judgmental' look they got? And these weren't random cops. They were from a few secret squads used to working with vampires and all.
A guy from the mayor's office pleaded for discretion. He said there'd be religious chaos and sectarian war should wide spread knowledge of what goes on after dark actually get out. Said people weren't ready for it. That made Jonathon mad. Everybody in the room could tell, 'cause when a vampire gets angry, they develop a knife-edged tension, like a steel spring, or a deltoid just about to snap. Started yelling. Said - We have a ghoul, a disgusting, loathsome, spidery animal, shredding innocent people with his teeth, left and right, all over the place and how the hell do you think you're EVER going to catch him without some night-folk help!? What? They can accept Batman? They can accept Spider Man and they can't accept us? You know, fifty seven percent of males between the ages of ten and twenty four think those characters are real!? Just wait til we start making things better on the street. Just wait til late night street crime disappears. Alright, not disappears, but certainly diminishes. Wait til we start giving out REAL money to homeless people sleeping on steam vents. Wait til we start helping run-a-ways. The elferinos and elferinas are PERFECT for that. I'm tired of this. I'm done with it. I don't care if 'they're' not ready for it or not. It's time and it's gonna happen!!! Almost every one of you sitting here claims to have some sort of religion... some sort of 'something,' but you do shit. And don't talk to me about some donation you made to some charity in order to get seats at the 'right' reception with a lot of self conscious, greasy faced sartorially challenged assholes grimacing for the camera. It's done! It's done! It's done! You know who's taking back the night? We are!....... Then he quickly cracked a kink out of his neck and sat down. Sarah rubbed his back. Somebody shoved a vodka on ice at him. He downed it like Sprite.
A few people clapped. Most, all of a sudden, got real interested in looking down at their hands. Nobody knew what to say. The twenty-somethings from the weekly papers started laughing. Two women from the museum started passing out these big black and white cookies everybody likes. You know, food's the best balm of all. Vampires and related folk didn't get cookies. They got pomegranate flavored mineral water.
But everybody knew nighttime in the city would never be the same again. And the guy from the mayor's office actually had a somewhat severe myocardial infarction.
Jonathon gave him a restorative 'bloody finger' on his way out. That's where a vampire bites into his own digit, makes it bleed and shoves it down the throat of a deserving (or not) mortal in distress.
Six heartbeats later (after sublimating) they were out on the street and within ten minutes, he and Sarah gave fifteen thousand dollars to a well known homeless threesome (called Manny, Moe and Jack) frequenting the classic entry-way to the grand Central Library.
By that time, three or four of the all night museum squatters had crashed the meeting (it was till going strong), but nobody cared. The guy in the baseball-antler cap got three of the big black and white cookies, plus a big, ice-cream soda glass filled with white wine.
What can I tell you? Salvation ain't easy...
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Jonathon had a special safe stuffed with 'flat' after 'flat' of hundred dollar bills. A flat is a neat, sharp stack of fifty Benjamins. Doctor Franklin really gets a kick out of that. One of his (Jonathon's) familiars from the bank comes over every so often to keep it topped up. I think it holds like one hundred and thirty thousand dollars. So he's taking maybe forty thousand with him to get the ball rolling. Gonna give five thousand to each deserving soul. Look, it's a start. And he's gonna let them know it's a vampire doing it.
All the others plan something similar. Sarah's gonna hit a few hospital kiddie wards, like she usually does, only this time she's not gonna pass as an angel. She's gonna tell them. She's gonna say - You like Twilight? You like Vampire Diaries (and they all do)? Well, shake hands with a dream come true..... They'll go - Huh? What?.... She'll say - Would you like to feel the tips of my fangs?..... They'll slowly reach out. She'll take hold of pudgy, little hands and guide 'em closer til fat, little fingers feels needle sharp dentition. Then she gives them the vial (with a few drops of her curative blood) and leaves them a few bucks. You know they're not gonna forget that. Maybe even get to know a nurse or two, as well. Sarah usually avoids them. But not now. No more.
Plus there's gonna be a few billboards around town. SUCK THE BLOOD OUT OF HATE... SUCK THE BLOOD OUT OF POVERTY.... SUCK THE BLOOD OUT OF LIES.... A whole lot of 'SUCK THE BLOOD OUT OF'S.... You'll see 'em. Twitter account gone up. Face Book page gone up. Maybe not all on the first day, but eventually. Jonathon's shooting for Pentecost.... his Pentecost, about forty seven nights from now.....
And this is the different part...the unique part. They're going to try and contact other bands of night-folk in other cities and get them involved too. Maybe people they know from THE VAMPIRE REVELS? Edith says they can always hide out in The Pines, 'cause you know there's gonna be a few fundamentalist, vigilante types of all stripes out to make them disappear.
Jonathon wants to bring back that multi-plex, movie theater Coke commercial. He talked about it before. But this time it's really gonna happen. And nobody's really unique. If he feels that way, other night-folk, in other places must feel the same way too. Not the noxious types. There's always a few bastards. ..... What was I saying?..... Oh, yeah, that commercial, the one that goes---- You give a little love and it all comes back to you. You're gonna be remembered for the things that you say and do.... That's it. Kabbalah, my friend..... Kabbalah...... Ka..... Ba.....La..... The Radiance surrounds us. Tap into it. Scientists call it zero energy, negative energy, vacuum energy. It has a lot of names. Maybe it's manna?
Who am I? Well, I'm not a dead vampire, or anything special, like that. And I'm not a spirit from old Judea, like Zebulon, or an eternal guardian, like Johannon (the one who saved Jonathon from the fire). I'm one of those guys who owned a men's store under the 'el.' I got shot. I got shot execution style in a robbery. Maybe you remember me from BINGO BOY? I think I narrated a few episodes back then. But who I am doesn't matter... YOU matter..... Go and do good things..... If not you, who?..... If not now, when?...... It's not hard..... and you know it.
Jonathon looks good, actually. Got them trim, black leather bootkins. I like that word. Got them equally trim black jeans. The white shirt. The leather jacket. The long, black ringlets. He is one tight rammer-jammer. Hey, I never said I was cool. But I don't have to be.
Look, you want to start easy? Buy a burger off a dollar menu. Go in any fast food place and do that. Then go outside and give it to the first homeless looking guy you see. Maybe add a container of hot coffee, but I don't press. Do whatever you think is right.....
But just do something.
So the vampires are gonna jump out of the crypt (just an expression. I know they don't sleep that way. least the ones 'round here don't).
I bet THE DAILY NEWS will write something about it, but The Inquirer never will...
Louise, from her hiding place in the Art Museum, wants to help. So does the guy with the stuffed reindeer antler baseball cap.
Maybe a show down with Johnny Jump Up? Maybe they should go after him? Get some kids from a local film school to shoot it. Put it on You Tube? That should get a lot of hits.
What do you think?.....
I know some of you get it..... Some of you have been here since the beginning. You know how it started. You remember...
First of all, we must agree that what comes next is fiction.....
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The streets were almost empty. Jonathon passed a few people heading in early.... some delivery trucks.... a few guys setting up lunch wagons. Everything seemed quiet. It's as if he didn't hear them and they couldn't hear him. But a bundled-up little toddler, snug in his mother's arms, turned toward him and said - Tell them.... And an old, bedraggled, street woman, shuffling along in scuffed, worn shoes, looked at him and said - Tell them.... Then a young girl resembling no one so much as his 'first meal' all those many years ago, pushed back her scarf, reached out for his arm and whispered the same thing.
When he got back to the townhouse the others were already settled in. He turned on the alarm, stopped for a few sips of cranberry juice and went to his cubicle. Sarah was sleeping. She still breathed like a mortal. He pulled off his clothes and crept in next to her. Edith would be up soon. God knows when she slept... perhaps two or three hours in the afternoon... maybe two or three more in the morning. wilkravitz wasn't home yet. He was still in the hospital recuperating from his near fatal brush with Johnny Jump Up. Annie watched old, classic sit-coms on the little flat screen in her dark space. The Andy Griffith Show was a particular favorite. So much so she called Edith 'Aunt Bea' sometimes. Conrad dreamed of his old life as an almost monk. Baylah, snug in her jewel-box nest above her piano bar whispered to ancient spirits known since long ago pilgrimages on The Great Salt Road 'tween Timbuctu and Mecca. And Leo just slept.
But in those fleeting moments, Jonathon knew the truth of things. And he knew the world would never be the same. ..... The desiccated mummies wedged in their narrow coffins at The Penn Museum (a one time vampire refuge) giggled. And the huge, heavy, polished, crystalline discs of Doctor Franklin's Grand Armonica, from their exalted place in a temperature controlled, sterile laboratory, resonated with a deep new harmony almost like the elusive, lost chord.
The Great Clock high atop the William Penn tower of the immense 'wedding cake' that is City Hall (at one time, the largest non-mortuary building on Earth) struck six. And all the vampires... and all the elferinos... and all the elferinas... and even the 'cherubs,' snuggled anywhere amidst the myriad byways of The 'Grand Duchy' of Philadelphia slumbered in that magic way only the night-folk can know...
May you never know pain... May you never know fear... May you hide from death now and for forever, or until that time when all lies slip away.... (a Vampire Prayer)
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After their meal in the little snack bar, they repaired to The Chinese Salon, a large space (part of the permanent collection) furnished in fine, lacquered, ebony cabinetry, dark red, velvet upholstery and fit for a mandarin, porcelain what-nots. The floors were rich, black hardwoods, covered with sumptuous, hand knotted carpets. Heavy draperies defined the perimeter of the place.
Jonathon wanted to sit on the large, low divan, a platform fit for an emperor. But Louise said - No... and got down on the floor, creeping under another similar resting place. She whispered - Here. Under here.... and the vampire slid under to join her. Even in the low watt lighting, discretely reflected from out of the way sources, he could see the long, sinuous Chinese Dragon etched onto the hidden surface.
The crazy teacher girl known as Louise said - Look at the colors. Look at the red and the yellow and the green and the gold. Look at the black background. I think that's ebony too. Can you imagine living with stuff like this? They did, you know. A rich, noble family gave it all to the museum just before the Japanese invasion. I think they did it to curry favor with somebody in the State Department. You know, American visas were hard to come by and very coveted in those days. I heard they died anyway. Well, most of them. A few got out. A shame they didn't have more furniture.
Jonathon whispered - You like it under here, don't you?..... She said - Uh huh... and snuggled in tight. Then she added - It's small and it's close and it's warm and it's safe..... But he didn't touch her. He didn't lick her, or bite her, or nibble, or stroke her. He didn't explore, or taste her body, as he would have in the past. Prophets don't do that. They just don't. So they laid there in the shadows, staring at the dragon. After a few dozen heartbeats, Jonathon said - What do you want?.... She whispered - I want to go home. I just want to go home, to my job, to my place, to my life. That's it. That's what I want...... The vampire said (although he already knew) - And why can't you?..... Louise sighed and whispered - Because the world is a horrible place. I didn't do anything wrong. But that bitch jumped all over me. I was supposed to spin straw into gold, when even the straw kept biting my fingers. Not that they don't need things, but those kids don't need school. They don't need math, or adverbs, or the Pilgrims. What are they gonna do with that? They're not ready for it. They need something else, like counseling, or better parenting, or maybe even hospitalization. Then they can have school. I don't know. But it's politically correct to blame the teachers, so they do. Every school sacrifices somebody and in my place, I was it. I was the little fix, 'cause they don't want to fix the big stuff.
Jonathon said - You want me to fix the big stuff?.... Louise said - Yeah... Two minutes later she dozed off. Three minutes after that he did too. And then he had a dream. The Lady Renate walked through a damp, green, dark, primeval forest. She approached him and she said - Tell them. Tell them. Tell them.
Just before dawn, when he woke up, Louise was gone, so he silently crept from the Chinese Salon, sublimated out through the walls and ran down a lightly trafficked Benjamin Franklin Parkway toward home...
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So Jonathon smiles at the crazy girl who accidentally killed her virago boss. She smiles back. Got ugly teeth, but that's all right, 'cause most people in The Bible never wore no braces. She says she's hungry and tells him they have a glass doughnut case with a real snug door in the ground level snack bar. Most nights the guy never empties it 'cause he's just a real lazy son of a bitch. No, it says so on his t-shirt. That's how she knows.
They sneak down a dark, little side passageway with a brown linoleum floor and tiny, two watt security lights. But the big green, metal door is locked. Jonathon sublimates his hand and part of his wrist through the surface and fiddles with the lock on the other side. Crazy, weird, teacher girl says - Wow. How do you do that?.... Jonathon says - Meditation.... She goes - Oh..... Ten seconds later, door opens. He says - After you... She responds with a curt, little nod, sniffs back some snot and enters.... He follows. They walk down an almost completely pitch black hallway, lit only by the red and white plastic exit light atop the far off door.
Teacher girl says - So, what are you?..... He says - Uh, I'm a Spanish Jew, Rite of Spain. 'Sephardic' they call it.... She says - No, come on, what ARE you?.... Jonathon says - Well, lets just say I'm 'special.'... Girl says - I hope that don't mean you're a 'retard?' Man, a magical retard. That could be a dangerous situation. And I hate to say that word. I was just thinking how the kids throw it around all the time. So if you're in any way afflicted, I know it's a medical condition and forgive me....... Jonathon laughs - Oh, it's a condition all right. And I do forgive you....
They come to the exit door. She carefully opens it, looks passed and soundlessly makes her way across a wide, lobby-like expanse of terrazzo flooring, reflecting a dark, gunmetal glow from the clerestory windows above. He follows her and they proceed toward a snack bar tucked in a little alcove. But another museum dweller, a man in a black turtleneck, wearing a cartoony looking reindeer antler baseball cap was there first. He sees them, quickly scoops up his peanut butter cracker dinner and streaks out in another direction. Jonathon wants to talk to him. He wants to say something, but the girl shuts him up. She whispers - No, we don't do that. Leave him alone.
They go inside, take some doughnuts from the case, plus some cold drinks from the glass doored refrigerator. Then they slide into one of six orange laminate booths, lit by the weak glow from a florescent night light behind the counter. She spreads out napkins and they eat. Well, she does. He sips from a sixteen ounce bottle of Poland Water. Vampires do all right with certain fluids. And if forced to, he can down a few nibbles of solid food. Comes up later. But he can fake it.
A guard, seated in a little cubicle far away, sees them on one of his tiny screens. But he does nothing. It's obvious they're not art thieves. And he sees a lot of strange shit in here. So he goes back to his Maxim and leaves them alone. They rarely turn on the motion detectors, 'cause it's a mad house when they do. Birds get locked in. They set it off. Feral cats. Not too many rodents. Exterminators they got. So the moral vampire, known as Jonathon and the strange girl, who may be just a little too old to be truly called that, sit in piece.
Jonathon watches her eat. She breaks off little pieces of plain cruller and demurely pops them into her mouth. He smiles. She sees the sharp, tiny points of his cat-like fangs and says - What do you want from me?
He looks down. He swallows. He shrugs. But he knows.... He knows.
When you want to change the world, you have to start somewhere.
Vampires can't do it on their own....
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