BAYLAH (our Beyonce look a like vampire) CONFRONTS THE STORM

I'm all alone. My human companion has gone back to the city (Philadelphia). Even the housekeeper left. She knows about me, but I gave her the usual gift of vampire hush money, a small vial of my blood. Her husband is sick. She's going to mix it in with his Spaghetti-O's. It'll help. I can guarantee it. The street is deserted. All the streets are desereted. The stores are closed. The restaurants are shuttered. Even Casels, a legendary 'see and be seen' gourmet (translates as high priced, but at least it's convenient) supermarket is sealed tight. Looks like the set for The Truman Show, but on a stormy, wind-blown late afternoon.

A few sticky characters are still around. They wear coveralls, like they work for some contractor or something. And they drive plain panel vans with easy to slap on or pull off magnetic signs. Locals know the score. Nobody stops them. Maybe the cops will...maybe. They look for easy pickins. Doors with cheap locks, flimsy windows. I just saw a guy come out of the house across the street carrying a high-end flat panel television. He had it all wrapped  up in a Dora the Explorer sheet, so I know he was snooping around in the little girl's room. Got to make a note to 'take him out' when this is all over. I have his scent. He won't be hard to find....but, then again, he had problems too.......Maybe I'll just scare him a little.

I can see the ocean through the big windoows in the living room. Some of the spray makes it all the way up to the heavy, double-paned glass. A thick, sandy film begins to grow.  Soon all the houses will be scoured by it. Hope the glass doesn't break. We should have storm shutters...But we don't....That's what insurance is for. Everybody gonna be remodeling and redecorating around here in a few days. Can you say 'tray ceilings'?

The giant waves attract me. The foamy, gray water is 'vampire water.' Ever see reruns of the old gothic Dark Shadows soap opera from the late '60's? Remember how the show came on? Well, this looks like that, only I'm listening to Tracy Chapman instead of that weird organ or synthesizer music or whatever they had back then. I got the fireplace going. It looks nice. The orange glow plays along the mirror-like ebony surface of the grand piano. I am burninng all my possessions. should this thing turn truly major, I do not need outsiders (insurance people and the like) asking  a lot of questions. Besides, it's easy for a vampire to 'collect' things. I'll be all right. And my companion is quite wealthy.

So soon, when it gets a little darker, I'll slide open the smoked glass doors and walk out onto the terrace. It's bare now. The gardener came to stow away all the furnishings. He pocketed a little knick-knack. My companion saw him do it. We don't care. Let him give it to his wife. I hope she likes it.

My kind need no oxygen. Breathing is just a habit...a reflex. It's comforting, but I can do without. So I'll walk into the roiling sea and pass beneath the surf.. Then I'll continue going, down into the depths, till the monstrous waves roll by like clouds far above my head. Cool water will caress my smooth, naked body. Lidless eyes will mark my passing. If my telepathic abilities are up to par.... (and why should I doubt them?) a curious mermaid (it's true, usually the females comme out first) will venture forth to meet me. And I will  swim with the merfolk till the heavens  all calm down.

Praise be to they who spread the balm of peace in the Holy Land. And may the frightened mortals escape the wrath of the storm......