Great trailer 'bout a 'dawg' eat 'dawg' world down at the bottom. But first I gotta eat a leftover sticky bun before it gets stale and channel some life-eater stuff.
more on JONATHON AS WANDERER..... The vampirino found himself on the small, main street of a little town. Two lane black-top..... Cozy 'commercial' district.... A diner... A department store that's really a jumped up five and dime...Some hardware store... A 'beautiful hairstyles for ladies' place.... Guns & Ammo outlet... Single screen, little jewel-box movie house.... and an animal hospital. Some more places went down a side street, but who the hell cares what they are. Few trees... Few benches... And a crazy albino kid sittin' on a curb eatin' raw bacon.... Scarfin' it down like pig sushi.
Jonathon says - Yo, kid, what the hell's wrong with you? You wanna get worms?.... Crazy, albino kid goes - Already got 'em. Seen 'em 'ant farmin'' my shit three days ago. Little white suckers..... And then he hiccuped. I don't know what gut-worms smell like, but probably like what came up from his belly.
Jonathon steps back. Vampires are fastidious 'bout crap like that..... Then he says - What's the deal with this place? Got anybody need 'takin' care of?'... Alabaster Boy go - Why? Who you, Lee Van Cleef?... But our basically moral Andalusian vampire didn't know who that was, so he took the kid into the diner for a late night plate a eggs and 'taters. Tillie (she the waitress) give 'em a nice booth in the back. Not 'cause she good hearted, or considerate. But sometime guys from the telephone company come in real late (breakfast time for them) and she don't want 'em seein' that crazy, bacon fiend. Tells him he gotta eat cooked food, 'cause the application a heat is included in the price and this ain't no freak show. So he orders the buttermilk pancakes wit' a side a turkey sausage (big, fat ones). Jonathon make him get a hot coffee too, 'cause he gonna spike it wit' a little vial a his blood. Figure it'll flush out them shit-worms.
Then Tillie go - What you want bright-eyes?... She like Jonathon. He say - Gimme some hot tea an' a 'monkey dish' full a apple sauce... 'Monkey dish' what they call them little side-order thingies in cafes and such.... Tillie go - Plain, unsweetened or cinnamon?..... Albino boy say - What you bein' smart for, you big-ass, you!? Whole town know only got one kind...... But she start gigglin' and don't answer him. Start makin' goo-goo eyes too. Kid what eats raw bacon starts gettin' disgusted. Jonathon give her a sly, little grin. Lets her see his teeth..... She go - Jesus! Mary! and Elvis! What the f*ck are you, a vampire!?..... Jonathon don't say nothin'. Jus' stare at her like that derby hat kid do in A CLOCKWORK ORANGE..... But he know if he wanna find some bastid in this town what need 'doin' she gonna be the one to tell him. So he make a little kiss at her an' she start gigglin' some more.
Guy in the back don't see none a this. He jus' do his job. Wanna be on 'Hell's Kitchen.' Wanna cook for Chef Ramsey. Got a deer-meat recipe an' everything. Sweet an' sour. Raisins and sauce. But he also make good flap-jacks, 'cause crazy boy say they dee-licious. Applesauce come from a jar. Jonathon don't care, 'cause eatin' mortal food jus' a hobby anyway.
Now if you rode through this place some dark night on the way to Lockhaven, or say Rockview State Penitentiary, you might say - Look a that cute, little diner, jus' like outta Mayberry..... But you never gonna think what goin' on inside..... 'Less you got issues too.
Jonathon slip the boy a twenty an' send him home. Worms is all gone, for now anyway.
Then he an' Tillie go in a alley and have some fun. But she gotta pull down her skirt and run back in when them phone company guys show up. Don't wash her hands, though. Shit, what they gone get from a vampire anyway?
if you wanna see more, click on ~>SHOW ME MORE, YOU BIG DUMB NUT ... an' leave a COMMENT too, while you at it. now scroll down a tiny, little bit an' look at that movie...