Monday, May 5, 2014

ZOMBIES ARE SO CAPRICIOUS AND SELFISH... 5/4/14

They waited for her to break through. Ralphie trilled - Can you hear her? Can you hear her? Can you hear her?!... He's an excitable sort of zombie. Ezekiel hates that. He just looked at him and didn't say a word..... Ralphie sensed the disapproval and shut up, but he couldn't help fidgeting and tittering every few heartbeats. Strictly speaking, zombies have no supernatural, or paranormal abilities. They do have an acute sense of hearing and a more or less canine sense of smell. Most easily pick up the frantic scrambling of live souls in the ground. Some apparently detect magnetic particles in the bones of living people. Conspiracy theorists site semi-substantiated findings from an early sixties Area 51 study focusing on thirty nine assorted zombies purchased from the Soviets during Khrushchev's era. Plan was to utilize them for space exploration. Zombies can do everything ordinary humans can and then some. Plus, who cares if they decompose and die? They're only zombies. It's just a hobby. They say three or four escaped into the surrounding hills. Ate a few old ladies, old men... at that age it's hard to tell. Night crew left them alone, bought off with six or seven boxes of Dunkin Donuts and some kind of diet soda. When family members came by and asked - What happened to Aunt Sadie? ... Desk woman goes - We don't know. Maybe she's hiding? Sometimes they hide real good.. (as she wipes powdered sugar from the corners of her mouth and sucks doughnut goo off her teeth)... Aunt Sadie's nephew goes - Look, you, I want that old lady.... Woman gestures down the corridor and  goes -Grab one. Why you gotta be so particular?.. Never found them three or four escaped zombies. Some folks say they got a custard  stand in Reno, or a Jenny Craig franchise. One did a few guest shots on Petticoat Junction, but he had a real good agent, 'cause lot a shows don't wanna book zombies.

Little bit later Ezekiel whispers - She's coming..... Ralphie goes - Tee hee hee.... Ezekiel's left snaps out and cracks him across the face. Ralphie mouths a sullen 'sorry.'..... And then it happens. The tidy, little mound of dirt atop the grave begins to move and shift. Minute 'avalanches' roll down from the center. A thin, white, blue tinged hand thrusts out, the finger tips torn and ruined. Tiny points of white bone take the place of cat claws, as it strains up toward thin, dancing beams of moonlight stealing in through the trees. No one speaks. A forehead breaks through. Soon a face, eyelids torn and shriveled. The hair a filthy, tangled, black mass. Still blind from the ordeal, the newly minted zombie, Opal gulped in huge lung fills of air, as she gasps - Help me. Help me. Help me. 

Ralphie moves to assist her, but Ezekiel holds him back and says - No. She has to do it alone...... So they wait. Ralphie clasps and unclasps his hands, in expectation, as the newborn flesh eater pulls herself out of the grave and stands trembling against the rough bark of a large oak tree. A few ribs peek through her scraped and ravaged skin.

And then he's here. That's it. Just like that. The eight hundred year old Teutonic 'fleisch esser' Uther aus Ulm, strides through the brush, a gagged and terrified 'sacrificial victim' secure in his grasp. Ralphie and Ezekiel instantly dash into the shadows, as the invader pulls out a knife and deftly scores quick, shallow, oozing cuts all over the victim's body. 

Opal smells the blood. Her mouth begins to water. She reaches out toward the restorative meal and takes him into her desperate embrace. ..... Uther moves behind her, tenderly untangling her hair, as he whispers - Ess, ess, ess . She tears into the naked deltoid, ripping off huge strips of flesh. The poor, young man thrashes helplessly, but it does no good... Born for a zombie's dinner.

Such is fate...

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1 comment:

  1. One thing I enjoy about your storytelling is the randomness of things. Petticoat Junction and Dunkin Donuts being mentioned in the same story, zombie story nonetheless, is fantastic!

    ReplyDelete

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